Ad Guy - They have fought through steel and wood, and tonight, they will introduce a new element…
Ray - LET’S HAVE A TABLE MATCH!
Ad Guy - 8 men will take violence to a new level, as they wage war in a duel-weapons gauntlet. THE TWO HOUR BLOODBATH BEGINS NOW!
DW - AS YOU CAN SEE, WE’RE STARTING OFF IMPACT WITH A PREVIEW FOR MIDWAY GAMES’ TNA IMPACT GAME! (2 seconds later, the clip ends)
BG - These fans here are hotter than four foxes stuffed inside a wool sock!
Penzer - This is a knockout bimbo brawl! Your bimbo brawl special guest referee - TRACI BROOKS!
Tenay - With Hard Justice being the most violent show of the year, TNA management has decided to bring that to this show as well.
Tenay - No stranger to the knockout bimbo brawl - Roxxi!
(immediately after Roxxi wins)Tenay - WHAT COULD CHRISTIAN BE THINKING AFTER RAY PROMISED TO RE-INTRODUCE THE GLASS TABLE!? TO THE BACK WITH LAUREN, CHRISTIAN, AND RHINO!
Lauren - Why would you go through that again?
Christian - BECAUSE I’M THE CHAMP - THAT’S WHAT I DO! I’LL NEVER FORGET THE PAIN, I’LL NEVER FORGET THE FOUR HOURS IT TOOK THE DOCTORS TO TAKE THE GLASS OUT OF MY BACK SLIVER BY SLIVER! 3D, you’re the greatest tag team ever because I decided to be a singles wrestler, but NOW I’M WITH RHINO! YOU SEE THAT LEGACY GOING RIGHT OUT FROM UNDERNEATH YOU! TONIGHT, RIGHT HERE ON IMPACT, YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO END OUR CAREERS, AND IF YOU CAN’T DO IT TONIGHT, YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER SHOT AT HARD JUSTICE IN A NEW JERSEY STREET FIGHT - RIGHT IN YOUR BACKYARD!
Rhino - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN I SET THAT GLASS TABLE UP IN THE CORNER AND PUT YU THROUGH IT WITH A GORE, GORE, GORE!?
(during bloodiest brawls DVD promo)Jarrett - You smell your blood different than another guy’s blood.
Super Eric - The case of the missing redding ring has been found.
Val - WHERE IS IT!? WHO WOULD STEAL MY RING!?
Super Eric - I believe you call him the guru.
Val - No - SONJAY WOULDN’T DO SUCH A THING!
Tenay - By the way, it’s now a black tie brawl and chain match!
DW - Couple different stipulations in this - each man will be wearing a tux, and the object is to either strip your foe of the tuxedo to humiliate him like Val was humiliated at his wedding, or get the pin or make him submit!
DW - ALL VAL WANTS TO KNOW IS WHO TOOK HER DIAMOND - DON’T EVER TAKE A WOMAN’D DIAMOND AWAY FROM HER!
Tenay - SUPER ERIC PULLS THE RING OUT OF SONJAY’S TIGHTS!
DW - I guess he used his super vision to see where it was!
Val - I DEFENDED YOU!
Sonjay - Val, when you visited me in the hospital, IT FELL! I’VE HAD IT EVER SINCE! Val, I’ve had that ring ever since, it’s been under my pillow as I slept. Perhaps I hoped you meant to leave it with me, maybe it was wishful thinking on my part.
Lauren - Ray, why would you want a no DQ match instead of a regular one-on-one wrestling match. What ever happened to that!?
Ray - Who the hell wants to see that? That would be like sleeping with you - BORING! I’ve heard stories, hon. Beer Money, the future of tag team wrestling - they’ll finish up where we started. We ain’t the greatest wrestlers, we drink, we fight, we

! Forget about it. Rhino, there’s a big X on your back, and tonight, we’re gonna put it through a glass table!
Storm - THAT’S LIKE A HELICOPTER LANDING, HIS BACK’S WIDE! GOOD GAWD! BOYS, YA WANNA TAKE US OUT, THEN DO IT, BY GAWD! SORRY ‘BOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK!
Bashir - What are you going to do when you have to fill a whole state with garbage? Call it New Jersey?
Tenay - The video preview for the Motor City Machine Guns gives you an idea just how AWESOME the wrestlers look in the upcoming TNA Impact: the Video Game!
Tenay - We understand that Sheik Abdul Bashir will be at the Hard Justice PPV.
DW - I’m sure homeland security will be interested to know that information.
(during a pointless face vs. face match)Fans - TNA! TNA! TNA!
Tenay - In our impact main event - the duel-entrance weapons gauntlet - IT’LL BE UNLIKE ANY GAUNTLET MATCH YOU’VE EVER SEEN BEFORE!
DW - Instead of coming out one at a time, THEY’LL COME DOWN TWO AT A TIME!
DW - WOAH, ALEX SHELLEY JUST PUSHED HIM IN THE CHEST!
Tenay - WOW, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT!? Let’s go to KAREN’S ANGLE!
Kurt - AJ, at Hard Justice, I’m gonna come at you like I’ve never come at someone before! I’M GONNA HURT YOU, AJ, AND THE PAIN GAME STARTS TONIGHT!
Love - You wanted it? You’ve got BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! We’ve got queen kong - you’ll have to call THE MILITARY TO BEAT HER! SHE’S AN ANIMAL, Gail, she loves Chinese, Taylor, she loves white bread, and ODB, she loves ANNOYING WHITE BIATCHES!
Tenay - We’ve seen many groups in wrestling, but this one with Beer Money Inc. and Team 3D could reach DOMINANT STATUS immediately!
(after a BRD backdrop)DW - BOY, I WONDER IF CHRISTIAN CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF STING UP IN THE RAFTERS! THAT’S HOW HIGH UP HE WAS!
(after a thousand things happened in a minute)DW - TAKE THIS AND MAGNIFY IT BY 10 - THAT’S WHAT THE NEW JERSEY STREET FIGHT’S GONNA BE!
(Homicide is put through the glass)DW - OH! THE GLASS GOES EVERYWHERE! REMEMBER, CHRISTIAN SAID IT TOOK WEEKS TO PULL THE GLASS OUT!
Tenay - BOY I HOPE IT’S NOT IN HIS EYE!
DW - THIS LOOKS BAD!
Tenay - LET’S GO TO BREAK, GUYS!
(to Kong, after an Awesome Bomb and Impact Buster, with Kong teasing an Awesome bomb on the chair)Love - DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!
JB - Booker, tonight, a 10 MAN GAUNTLET WITH WEAPONS! At Hard Justice, it’s a six sides of steel with weapons. In a week, will you be wearing the TNA World title on this so-fa!?
Booker - Jeremiah, yes. 10 man gauntlet, we’re gonna finish what we started! I came to TNA to prove that I am the best without ANY SHADOW OF THE DOUBT!
JB - Does that mean that STING WILL BE HERE!?
Booker - He wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world - THE REAL BATMAN WILL BE HERE AND AT HARD JUSTICE!
Joe - Sting’s gonna be here tonight!? WHY NOT THE LAST FEW WEEKS, STING!? WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HITTING ME WITH BATS, STING!? WHY HAVE YOU BEEN THROWING BATS TO YOUR PARTNER, BOOKER, STING!? They say at Victory Road I went too far, I say I didn’t go far enough - I SHOWED COMPASSION!
AJ - JB, you’ve been here with me since day one! We didn’t know if we’d have another day - Kurt jumped on OUR BANDWAGON! I told Kurt I didn’t sleep with is wife, and there’s NOTHING MORE I CAN DO! At Hard Justice, bring Tomko, bring Trigg, because at the end of the night, I’M GONNA BE THE LAST MAN STANDING!
Tenay - Matt Morgan is eliminating folks in TNA and American Gladiators - THAT GUY IS A BEAST!
DW - IT’S ONLY APPROPRIATE THAT BOOKER T BRING OUT A BLACK BAT - STING’S BLACK BAT, FOR THE MAIN EVENT!
Joe - BOOOKKKEERRRRR! I’m telling you right now, Book, the CHAMP COMES FOR HIS BELT! AND BOOK, AFTER I’M DONE WITH YOU, STIIIINNNGGG, YOU’RE NEXT! (Sting’s music hits, he appears in the rafters, and he and Joe point weapons at each other)