How many of you are in here, right now?
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/j5kdp/as_requested_iama_pro_wrestler_ama/
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/j5kdp/as_requested_iama_pro_wrestler_ama/
The "Big Lazy" Kevin Nash Wrestling Thread
- Thread starter mykevermin
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pimpster4183
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[quote name='Halo05']I really need to get on the local indy fed viewing train. I moved to Pensacola like 2 months ago, I know there's a little fed down here.[/QUOTE]
lol what.. I'm in pensacola also. The local indy scene here is APW which is ran by of course the Armstrongs (this being the panhandle and all). Road Dogg is there every week. Raven and Billy Gunn have both been doing matches there also. My buddy is the ring announcer there.
lol what.. I'm in pensacola also. The local indy scene here is APW which is ran by of course the Armstrongs (this being the panhandle and all). Road Dogg is there every week. Raven and Billy Gunn have both been doing matches there also. My buddy is the ring announcer there.
mykevermin
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I can't wait for WWE to ignore the massive plot holes in Punk's return tonight:
- how "8 days" is akin to him leaving the company and making a triumphant return
- why they had one title match (let alone two) on a show when they had already re-signed the champion
- why Punk waited until Cena won the title to make his return, instead of at the end of the first title match on the show
- what kind of bullshit "unification" match they're going to give us at SummerSlam
- how it makes sense that Punk steadfastly refused to sign any contract prior to MITB, but now he will
I watched the MITB main event, and the crowd makes the match so
ing excellent. The crowd is great to watch, because this is the crowd that really believes Punk is walking out the door after tonight, that Punk is leaving and taking the belt with him. They can't wait to see what that means for the wrestling business. It's awesome to see such excitement and hope in the fans. If Punk was just "hey, Cena is a crappy wrestler and I'm the best," the crowd would not be anywhere near as hot as they were, Chicago or not. The context of everything is what makes it work.
Now Punk went back on his word, and he's just another corporate chump for WWE. Are we supposed to cheer him for being a rebel now that he re-signed? Who's the babyface in this feud? The corporate whore how is a walking billboard for douchey merchandise, who hasing terrible matches (but he can salute like a marine real nice)? Or the guy who stood up to the corporate machine, had the world in the palm of his hands...and then just goes back on his word to return? Do we cheer the boring cunt in Cena, or the guy who goes back on his word in CM Punk?
Y'all and your "let's wait and see how it pans out." Man, you have some hope in WWE, despite never being given a reason to have any. Maybe this will be as exciting as the...Cena/R-Truth feud? The Cena/Orton feud? The Christian/Orton feud? The Cena/Miz feud (which was really Cena/Rock with Miz as the fifth wheel)?
- how "8 days" is akin to him leaving the company and making a triumphant return
- why they had one title match (let alone two) on a show when they had already re-signed the champion
- why Punk waited until Cena won the title to make his return, instead of at the end of the first title match on the show
- what kind of bullshit "unification" match they're going to give us at SummerSlam
- how it makes sense that Punk steadfastly refused to sign any contract prior to MITB, but now he will
I watched the MITB main event, and the crowd makes the match so
ing excellent. The crowd is great to watch, because this is the crowd that really believes Punk is walking out the door after tonight, that Punk is leaving and taking the belt with him. They can't wait to see what that means for the wrestling business. It's awesome to see such excitement and hope in the fans. If Punk was just "hey, Cena is a crappy wrestler and I'm the best," the crowd would not be anywhere near as hot as they were, Chicago or not. The context of everything is what makes it work. Now Punk went back on his word, and he's just another corporate chump for WWE. Are we supposed to cheer him for being a rebel now that he re-signed? Who's the babyface in this feud? The corporate whore how is a walking billboard for douchey merchandise, who has
ing terrible matches (but he can salute like a marine real nice)? Or the guy who stood up to the corporate machine, had the world in the palm of his hands...and then just goes back on his word to return? Do we cheer the boring cunt in Cena, or the guy who goes back on his word in CM Punk?Y'all and your "let's wait and see how it pans out." Man, you have some hope in WWE, despite never being given a reason to have any. Maybe this will be as exciting as the...Cena/R-Truth feud? The Cena/Orton feud? The Christian/Orton feud? The Cena/Miz feud (which was really Cena/Rock with Miz as the fifth wheel)?
007
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Given that the timeline is ed, I'd honestly go against expectations and *not* have a unification match at SummerSlam. Still book the Punk/Cena match, but only have one guy walk in as champ. I'd book Cena to walk out tonight and cut a promo about how he's man enough to admit that he's not really the WWE Champion, no matter what HHH says. Until he beats Punk, the true champion, Cena's belt is worthless. If he's going to be WWE Champion, he wants the real belt, and he wants to beat Punk for it. End promo with either Cena setting the belt in the ring and walking away or, if they need HHH involvement, handing the belt to HHH and walking away.
Honestly, if he keeps the belt, it's stupid... this is a guy who wouldn't take the screwjob finish at the PPV, so why would he pretend like he's somehow WWE Champion because he beat Rey Mysterio and is holding a replica belt? It doesn't make any sense. If they insist on continuing to book Cena as the man with endless integrity, adhere to it.
The downside is that it kind of shits on Mysterio, but I'd imagine he's used to that by now. The flipside version of this is to have HHH go heel and strip Cena of the belt because Punk came back. If they want a HHH/Punk feud, though, that doesn't really work.
ed, I'd honestly go against expectations and *not* have a unification match at SummerSlam. Still book the Punk/Cena match, but only have one guy walk in as champ. I'd book Cena to walk out tonight and cut a promo about how he's man enough to admit that he's not really the WWE Champion, no matter what HHH says. Until he beats Punk, the true champion, Cena's belt is worthless. If he's going to be WWE Champion, he wants the real belt, and he wants to beat Punk for it. End promo with either Cena setting the belt in the ring and walking away or, if they need HHH involvement, handing the belt to HHH and walking away.Honestly, if he keeps the belt, it's stupid... this is a guy who wouldn't take the screwjob finish at the PPV, so why would he pretend like he's somehow WWE Champion because he beat Rey Mysterio and is holding a replica belt? It doesn't make any sense. If they insist on continuing to book Cena as the man with endless integrity, adhere to it.
The downside is that it kind of shits on Mysterio, but I'd imagine he's used to that by now. The flipside version of this is to have HHH go heel and strip Cena of the belt because Punk came back. If they want a HHH/Punk feud, though, that doesn't really work.
[quote name='007']Given that the timeline is ed, I'd honestly go against expectations and *not* have a unification match at SummerSlam. Still book the Punk/Cena match, but only have one guy walk in as champ. I'd book Cena to walk out tonight and cut a promo about how he's man enough to admit that he's not really the WWE Champion, no matter what HHH says. Until he beats Punk, the true champion, Cena's belt is worthless. If he's going to be WWE Champion, he wants the real belt, and he wants to beat Punk for it. End promo with either Cena setting the belt in the ring and walking away or, if they need HHH involvement, handing the belt to HHH and walking away.
Honestly, if he keeps the belt, it's stupid... this is a guy who wouldn't take the screwjob finish at the PPV, so why would he pretend like he's somehow WWE Champion because he beat Rey Mysterio and is holding a replica belt? It doesn't make any sense. If they insist on continuing to book Cena as the man with endless integrity, adhere to it.
The downside is that it kind of shits on Mysterio, but I'd imagine he's used to that by now. The flipside version of this is to have HHH go heel and strip Cena of the belt because Punk came back. If they want a HHH/Punk feud, though, that doesn't really work.[/QUOTE]
If he is/was going to lose the belt, it should have happened last week. After Cena realized Punk was back. Punk jumped in the ring, and Cena did his "the champ is here" motion and raised the belt up. Him taking the high road now just makes it look worse.
ed, I'd honestly go against expectations and *not* have a unification match at SummerSlam. Still book the Punk/Cena match, but only have one guy walk in as champ. I'd book Cena to walk out tonight and cut a promo about how he's man enough to admit that he's not really the WWE Champion, no matter what HHH says. Until he beats Punk, the true champion, Cena's belt is worthless. If he's going to be WWE Champion, he wants the real belt, and he wants to beat Punk for it. End promo with either Cena setting the belt in the ring and walking away or, if they need HHH involvement, handing the belt to HHH and walking away.Honestly, if he keeps the belt, it's stupid... this is a guy who wouldn't take the screwjob finish at the PPV, so why would he pretend like he's somehow WWE Champion because he beat Rey Mysterio and is holding a replica belt? It doesn't make any sense. If they insist on continuing to book Cena as the man with endless integrity, adhere to it.
The downside is that it kind of shits on Mysterio, but I'd imagine he's used to that by now. The flipside version of this is to have HHH go heel and strip Cena of the belt because Punk came back. If they want a HHH/Punk feud, though, that doesn't really work.[/QUOTE]
If he is/was going to lose the belt, it should have happened last week. After Cena realized Punk was back. Punk jumped in the ring, and Cena did his "the champ is here" motion and raised the belt up. Him taking the high road now just makes it look worse.
Long-time casual wrestling fan here.
Most regulars here *might* remember that I'm mainly a 'Hogan Rock N' Wrestlin'/Attitude era fan, but I watch every WM(cause it USED to be a big deal when it started)/SummerSlam/RoyalRumble/MaybeSurvivorSeries fan. I will also watch if there's a BIG angle like Rock's return this year.
Anyway, my brother turned me on to Punk's initial promo on youtube and I.WAS.HOOKED.
Watched the nest 3 RAWs, the PPV, and the 2 RAWs after the PPV.
That said, I'm still hooked. I was pissed when they did a tourney the next night after MitB and when John Cena won last week.
But when Living Colour hit, I was pissed that it was too soon, but I KNEW I had to tune in again this week.
So, you big fans might be mad, but people they lost from the Attitude era(who found the Punk promos) are probably back untilo SummerSlam to see how this plays out(so long as Cena doesn't beat punk tonight).
Like I said, I'm not someone who know who Daniel Brian really is, but I'm interested in the WWE again. And that helps shareholders more than you guys
Most regulars here *might* remember that I'm mainly a 'Hogan Rock N' Wrestlin'/Attitude era fan, but I watch every WM(cause it USED to be a big deal when it started)/SummerSlam/RoyalRumble/MaybeSurvivorSeries fan. I will also watch if there's a BIG angle like Rock's return this year.
Anyway, my brother turned me on to Punk's initial promo on youtube and I.WAS.HOOKED.
Watched the nest 3 RAWs, the PPV, and the 2 RAWs after the PPV.
That said, I'm still hooked. I was pissed when they did a tourney the next night after MitB and when John Cena won last week.
But when Living Colour hit, I was pissed that it was too soon, but I KNEW I had to tune in again this week.
So, you big fans might be mad, but people they lost from the Attitude era(who found the Punk promos) are probably back untilo SummerSlam to see how this plays out(so long as Cena doesn't beat punk tonight).
Like I said, I'm not someone who know who Daniel Brian really is, but I'm interested in the WWE again. And that helps shareholders more than you guys
mykevermin
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[quote name='Trakan']If he is/was going to lose the belt, it should have happened last week. After Cena realized Punk was back. Punk jumped in the ring, and Cena did his "the champ is here" motion and raised the belt up. Him taking the high road now just makes it look worse.[/QUOTE]
Nah. As overbooked (overbooked isn't theing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.
They put 4 months into one two hour show last week.
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.
Nah. As overbooked (overbooked isn't the
ing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.They put 4 months into one two hour show last week.
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.
[quote name='mykevermin']Nah. As overbooked (overbooked isn't the ing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.
They put 4 months into one two hour show last week. [/QUOTE]
Not like a promo or even anything big. They could have just had Cena look defeated like he just went through that match with Mysterio all for nothing. He could have just dropped the belt and did the promo this week, assuming that's the direction they're headed.
ing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.They put 4 months into one two hour show last week. [/QUOTE]
Not like a promo or even anything big. They could have just had Cena look defeated like he just went through that match with Mysterio all for nothing. He could have just dropped the belt and did the promo this week, assuming that's the direction they're headed.
[quote name='mykevermin']
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.[/QUOTE]
Oh, you're absolutely right.
I kinda remember Rey was a WC few years back, but I didn't 'remember' it until they mentioned it after he beat Miz.
I probably would've paid attention to Raw(SD? Nice to see Christian w/ WC, but...Orton stinks and it's now on SciFi) until Punk returned. Or read dirstsheets until I knew he was coming back
But now that he's back? I'm watching in delayed horror until he loses it to either Cena of HHH.
Once that happens, I'm out until Rock/Foley/Crash Holly comes back.
Like I said, I don't claim to be a normal casual fan, but I know when to stop watching when there's a dominant champ(remember when HHH called Booker everything but a Ni**er?)
And short-term gains for shareholders is HARDLY a problem exclusively to WWF Entertainment.
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.[/QUOTE]
Oh, you're absolutely right.
I kinda remember Rey was a WC few years back, but I didn't 'remember' it until they mentioned it after he beat Miz.
I probably would've paid attention to Raw(SD? Nice to see Christian w/ WC, but...Orton stinks and it's now on SciFi) until Punk returned. Or read dirstsheets until I knew he was coming back
But now that he's back? I'm watching in delayed horror until he loses it to either Cena of HHH.
Once that happens, I'm out until Rock/Foley/Crash Holly comes back.
Like I said, I don't claim to be a normal casual fan, but I know when to stop watching when there's a dominant champ(remember when HHH called Booker everything but a Ni**er?)
And short-term gains for shareholders is HARDLY a problem exclusively to WWF Entertainment.
[quote name='mykevermin']Nah. As overbooked (overbooked isn't the ing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.
They put 4 months into one two hour show last week.
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.[/QUOTE]
There's still a slight bit of good they could save with this angle, if they don't it up. The explanation for last week was CM Punk reminding Cena that even though he's the *new* champion, he's not the *real* champion. Keep Punk off TV and have him go around doing promo work, telling media outlets he only showed up again so quickly to remind the audience who the real champ is, etc.
Of course, they won't, and Punk will show up on Raw and give some half ass plausible reason as to why he's back, and by Summerslam this angle will have had all of the life and energy sucked out of it, and Punk will return to the lower cusp of the upper card.
ing word for last week's show) as last week's show was, adding yet another twist to it is just waaaaay too much programming for one angle for one show.They put 4 months into one two hour show last week.
manthing, I hear you. The thing I'm arguing is that you (and others) would tune in (in greater numbers) when Punk returned if he stayed away long enough to enhance the plausibility of the whole thing. Not because of Punk, or Cena - but because of the freshness of the angle. Theirs is indeed the problem of shareholders; small gains over the short term is preferable to larger gains over the long term. Our attention spans don't make for smart investors.[/QUOTE]
There's still a slight bit of good they could save with this angle, if they don't
it up. The explanation for last week was CM Punk reminding Cena that even though he's the *new* champion, he's not the *real* champion. Keep Punk off TV and have him go around doing promo work, telling media outlets he only showed up again so quickly to remind the audience who the real champ is, etc.Of course, they won't, and Punk will show up on Raw and give some half ass plausible reason as to why he's back, and by Summerslam this angle will have had all of the life and energy sucked out of it, and Punk will return to the lower cusp of the upper card.
mykevermin
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Bingo. If you want to fantasy book with accuracy, start with the idea that the world revolves around the McMahons and their in-laws. You'll write the show's opening promo plus or minus three sentences.
Demolition Man
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mykevermin
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"this is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective—play." - Kevin Nash.
That competes with Shane Douglas' use of the word "oblidicree" as one of the more memorable promo stumbles of all time. Thing is, Nash no-sold it like a champ.
That competes with Shane Douglas' use of the word "oblidicree" as one of the more memorable promo stumbles of all time. Thing is, Nash no-sold it like a champ.
HHH resigns Punk when Vince never could, and he's the never defeated champion...and Cena is the lame-duck makeshift champion Vince's tournament crowned. Watch Vince return to try and regain control of his company by saying he was backed into a corner and never gave in to his employee bullying him into a contract.
C'mon, heel Cena doing Vince's bidding.
C'mon, heel Cena doing Vince's bidding.
mykevermin
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Triple H tries to take away Cena's title, Vince returns and insists Cena is the true champion...
So the feud becomes Vince vs Triple H, with Cena vs Punk as background music.
Very WWE. Good call, JJSP.
So the feud becomes Vince vs Triple H, with Cena vs Punk as background music.
Very WWE. Good call, JJSP.
OnyxPrimal
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[quote name='manthing']
Once that happens, I'm out until Rock/Foley/Crash Holly comes back
[/QUOTE]
Umm I hate to be the guy to tell ya, but Crash has been dead for almost 8 years now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Lockwood
Once that happens, I'm out until Rock/Foley/Crash Holly comes back
[/QUOTE]
Umm I hate to be the guy to tell ya, but Crash has been dead for almost 8 years now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Lockwood
mykevermin
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I guess I missed that part of his post.
Punk on a local morning show today. :lol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zR4TZ5wkS8&feature=feedlik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zR4TZ5wkS8&feature=feedlik
Survivalism
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[quote name='mykevermin']"this is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective—play." - Kevin Nash.[/QUOTE]
It's Where The Big Boys Play With Each Other.
[quote name='xilly']How many of you are in here, right now?[/QUOTE]
My dear sir, this is no wrestler.
PS - CM Punk's Beef House.
It's Where The Big Boys Play With Each Other.
[quote name='xilly']How many of you are in here, right now?[/QUOTE]
My dear sir, this is no wrestler.
PS - CM Punk's Beef House.
[quote name='pimpster4183']lol what.. I'm in pensacola also. The local indy scene here is APW which is ran by of course the Armstrongs (this being the panhandle and all). Road Dogg is there every week. Raven and Billy Gunn have both been doing matches there also. My buddy is the ring announcer there.[/QUOTE]
Oh shit, I know where Destin is. APW huh? I'll look it up. Maybe I can finally get that Raven autograph after he blew me off after a WCW Thunder in 1998.
Oh shit, I know where Destin is. APW huh? I'll look it up. Maybe I can finally get that Raven autograph after he blew me off after a WCW Thunder in 1998.
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I turned on Raw and this Punk promo has been terrible. His Joementum is running low.
[quote name='OnyxPrimal']Umm I hate to be the guy to tell ya, but Crash has been dead for almost 8 years now.
[/QUOTE]
Umm, I hate to tell ya, but I knew that and used it as a joke.
I mean 8 years is long enough before we can joke about it, right? It's not like he killed his wife and son...
Too soon?
[/QUOTE]
Umm, I hate to tell ya, but I knew that and used it as a joke.
I mean 8 years is long enough before we can joke about it, right? It's not like he killed his wife and son...
Too soon?
guyver2077
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lol at that ending..
hopefully raw is visiting some big cities so that they can boo the shit out of cena
hopefully raw is visiting some big cities so that they can boo the shit out of cena
Survivalism
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Every week in the chat there's one line that makes me spit all over my screen and giggle like a little girl. This week it was "John Laryngitis."
Edit: Last week it was
Edit: Last week it was
mykevermin
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[quote name='Haggar']Hey, anyone know if Evolve PPVs are available legit through On Demand or PSN etc or just Internet PPV/DVD?
Also, does anyone know if Finlay was there as a 1 time thing or is he on their roster now?
Thanks[/QUOTE]
You can get the evolve shows via PSN?!?!?!?!
I don't know much about them as a promotion - they haven't done much to carve out an identity for themselves. But I'm interested in it.
EDIT: I didn't watch Raw tonight, so I'm about to go read the recap. Doesn't sound like they did anything to redeem the faith of people here. Anyone still think there's still potential in the angle?
Also, does anyone know if Finlay was there as a 1 time thing or is he on their roster now?
Thanks[/QUOTE]
You can get the evolve shows via PSN?!?!?!?!
I don't know much about them as a promotion - they haven't done much to carve out an identity for themselves. But I'm interested in it.
EDIT: I didn't watch Raw tonight, so I'm about to go read the recap. Doesn't sound like they did anything to redeem the faith of people here. Anyone still think there's still potential in the angle?
JaytheGamefan
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Loved the HHH-Punk opening, even if it went long. The divas battle royal would've been better without Cole burying THE ENTIRE DIVISION WITHIN A MINUTE OF THE MATCH. Could some women's group threaten WWE about this so at least he'll shut up about one thing? Beth's finish tossing both Bellas at once was great, and I dug her heel turn, too. Miz and Truth were funny backstage, Cena was just God-awful with his promo. Just so wooden. Seriously, John Morrison might've actually delivered this material with more passion. Morrison/Rey-Truth/Miz was very good as a match, but was really hurt by Cole burying everything in it that didn't involve Miz. Rey got buried as a guy who only held the title for an hour and a half, Truth wasn't put over at all, and Morrison was knocked for the parkour stuff and for not doing anywhere near as much as Miz. Chain of stuff finish was cool - glad to see Truth get a win. Shame Morrison can't even buy one after coming back too soon from neck surgery.
HHH burying Josh for apparently not shaving WHILE HAVING A BEARD was just stupid and weird. Enough burying Josh - Cole did it earlier when Josh couldn't retort, and now HHH does it...and they're going to be relying on the guy who the kayfabe head of the company is burying on-air to sell PPVs. That'll work. Loved the Mark Henry-Sheamus hype vid that aired after this. Simple and effective stuff. The Riley-Dolph confrontation was good - easily Riley's best mic work since the Miz feud and it sets up something new for Summerslam. Tag title match was basically nothing - New Nexus's tron says DAVID MICHAEL on the sides and Ryder jobbed. Oh, and Cole buried guys because...why the not? Why would a company that is now bringing up how bad things have been actually want to change that and try to turn guys into stars?
Alberto-Bourne was a fine match, but was hurt by Cole burying JR for tweeting about him being a tool. Okay, so it's fine for Cole to bury EVERYONE BEHIND THEIR BACK, that's fine, but because JR does something, now it's wrong, despite him putting twitter over constantly. Including bringing up Cena saying stuff on twitter that he doesn't say on-air...I GUESS HE'S HIDING BEHIND TWITTER! Bourne sold the top rope enziguri better than anyone. Enjoyed Kofi coming out to make another makeshift match for the PPV, although didn't they have this exact same match as as last-second filler before? Alberto sticking his tongue out after winning ruled. The show-closing stuff with Punk, HHH, Ace, and Cena didn't do much for me - it was clear that Cena-Punk for the Undisputed title was going to happen based on what happened last week, so we didn't really need a whole show of promos about it, and the back and forth with the themes and poses got old quick. JR's ONE LINE about Summerslam redefining the WWE Title was awesome. Just exactly what a PPV selling-line should be.
Screens -
Quotes -
HHH burying Josh for apparently not shaving WHILE HAVING A BEARD was just stupid and weird. Enough burying Josh - Cole did it earlier when Josh couldn't retort, and now HHH does it...and they're going to be relying on the guy who the kayfabe head of the company is burying on-air to sell PPVs. That'll work. Loved the Mark Henry-Sheamus hype vid that aired after this. Simple and effective stuff. The Riley-Dolph confrontation was good - easily Riley's best mic work since the Miz feud and it sets up something new for Summerslam. Tag title match was basically nothing - New Nexus's tron says DAVID MICHAEL on the sides and Ryder jobbed. Oh, and Cole buried guys because...why the
not? Why would a company that is now bringing up how bad things have been actually want to change that and try to turn guys into stars? Alberto-Bourne was a fine match, but was hurt by Cole burying JR for tweeting about him being a tool. Okay, so it's fine for Cole to bury EVERYONE BEHIND THEIR BACK, that's fine, but because JR does something, now it's wrong, despite him putting twitter over constantly. Including bringing up Cena saying stuff on twitter that he doesn't say on-air...I GUESS HE'S HIDING BEHIND TWITTER! Bourne sold the top rope enziguri better than anyone. Enjoyed Kofi coming out to make another makeshift match for the PPV, although didn't they have this exact same match as as last-second filler before? Alberto sticking his tongue out after winning ruled. The show-closing stuff with Punk, HHH, Ace, and Cena didn't do much for me - it was clear that Cena-Punk for the Undisputed title was going to happen based on what happened last week, so we didn't really need a whole show of promos about it, and the back and forth with the themes and poses got old quick. JR's ONE LINE about Summerslam redefining the WWE Title was awesome. Just exactly what a PPV selling-line should be.
Screens -
Quotes -
Cole - IT IS A NIGHT OF REMARKABLE IMPORTANCE! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WWE HISTORY, WE HAVE TWO LEGITIMATE WWE CHAMPIONS!
King - JR, welcome back permanently!
JR - It’s good to be back. Almost glad to see Cole.
Crowd - CM Punk! CM Punk!
Punk - THE CHAMP IS HERE! And now the $64,000 question, WHY DID I COME BACK!? If I could be afforded some time, I’ll tell you a story. I knew for a long time that my contract expired on 7-17-11, so as far as a year back, I was struggling with this decision. On one hand, I love the place I work, but I hate the people I work with. I could either deal with the status quo, or speak my mind. I caused just a little bit of change. The domino effect. The next night on Raw, Vince was relieved of his day-to-day duties! THAT’S CHANGE! That’s tangible change - I can feel it in the air, and I’d like to take some credit for that change. But some of it goes onto you, the audience. For far too long, you’ve been fed scraps. You haven’t been given what you’re entitled to - I’m here to give that to you and make this fun again. For everybody. Am I unorthodox? Do people get scared when I have a mic? YA DAMN BETCHA MAN, I’d have it no other way. I was sitting at home, looking at the championship, and realized that the voice of the voiceless needs to be heard by those who need to hear it the most - you. I can’t do that with a megaphone and at media outlets like Comic Con or Kimmel. I can’t make this industry what it SHOULD be sitting on my couch in Chicago! I pickd up the phone, and as much as I hate being on the phone, and my timing couldn’t have been better. In my short absence, we’ve resorted to the status quo - CENA IS PARADING AROUND AS THE WWE CHAMPION! (massive boos) Cena is as much champion as this guy sitting in front row with his Shop Zone replica. What you have is a belt, what I have is a championship title! So much for change - same old, same old. Cena, no matter what the outcome of whatever bogus tournament we had while I was on vacation, no matter hwo thinks they’re entitled to rematches - one fact - I HOLD IN MY HANDS THE MOST IMPORTANT TITLE IN THE WORLD! THIS INDICATES TO EVERYBODY THAT I AM THE BEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER! I AM THE ONE, THE ONLY WWE CHAMPION! (HHH comes out) It’s time to play the game!
Cole - On twitter, Cena called this the most important Raw of HHH’s life!
Punk - LET’S HEAR IT FOR HIM - H H H IS THE C O O.
HHH - Thanks for that warm reception, and I’ll address the WWE Title situation. I’ll also explain why I re-signed you. It comes down to one thing - business. It was good for business. The same reason why I brought back J.R. And John Morrison. It was good for business. The WWE Universe wanted it and it’s my job as COO to try and give them exactly what they want. THE WWE UNIVERSE SPOKE, SAID THEY WANTED CM PUNK, PUT MY FEELINGS ASIDE AND GAVE THEM CM PUNK!
Punk - Personal feelings?
HHH - It was meant as a compliment, take it as that.
Punk - I’m interested to know now PERSONALLY what your feelings are for CM Punk.
HHH - My feelings are irrelevant, but I think that you’re a smug, overrated, attention-seeking… (boos) guy that puts a little too much stock in his own hype. Not that that’s a bad thing.
Punk - I’m glad we can be honest. It’s kinda like looking in the mirror, Hunter? Am I smug? Yeah. Am I overrated? Not up to me to say. I wish you’d just come out and say that you hate my guts, but tell me what a commodity I am. We live in the era that VKM built and he surrounded himself with great men who said YES YES YES. And they screwed the pooch on talent, because they let guys like Batista go. Guys like Mick Foley. Guys like Chris Jericho. Guys like Brock Lesnar. I could go on and on. Basically, not only did you not want to see me go anywhere else, you couldn’t afford to see me go anywhere else. I’M HOT. I’M A COMMODITY!
HHH - Since we’re telling the truth, let’s say why you re-signed.
Punk - I already did - I wanna facilitate change.
HHH - I think another way of looking at it is you did it for you. You wanted to hear your voice - the pipe bomb - if there’s no one around, does it make a noise? YOU NEEDED THE WWE UNIVERSE, BECAUSE WITHOUT THE WWE, THE PIPE BOMB AND YOU MEAN NOTHING! THAT, YOU DID FOR YOUR OWN EGO!
Punk - That’s a big maybe - 50/50 at best. I don’t like maybes, I like facts - truths. I’M THE WWE CHAMPION.
HHH - You are the WWE Champion. John Cena is also the WWE Champion.
And Punk, like I said before, I will fix that later tonight.
Punk - HOLD UP IN THE TRUCK! Hang on, I do lover Motorhead, but come back here. THIS PIPE BOMB IS GONNA GO OFF IN THE FOREST, AND I WANT YOU AROUND TO HEAR IT. JUST BECAUSE I SIGNED MY NAME TO A CONTRACT DOESN’T MEAN I’M GOING TO MEDIA TRAINING. I’M GONNA DO THINGS MY WAY. You wanna talk about egos? WELL, HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY, Let’s talk about you hogging the spotlight so many many many times. Even when you were carrying HBK’s bags, you told people what do to. How many times do to you tell people what to do? How many times did you say “well, I don’t think he has what it takes” while you were lying in bed with your wife? No matter what, if you’re in a suit, your gear, or a Conan rip-off, you’re a bully. I’m not picking a fight, but be careful who you push. BECAUSE I LIKE TO PUSH BACK!
HHH - This comes down to ego, right, and I’ll tell ya I got a massive ego. And now, that massive ego is telling me to slap all those all those rotten tattoos off your skinny-fat ass! But I won’t, because this is bigger than that. I took the job as COO for them! That comes with responsibilities, certain rules. Maybe I don’t like them, but I respect them, and for them, I won’t break those rules. Punk, I would strongly, strongly suggest you don’t break ‘em either.
Punk - Or what? You gonna beat me up? You gonna fight me? Punch me in the face? Or do ya gotta ask your wife permission first? PIPE BOMB!
Cole - There’s Morrison doing that goofy parkour.
Cole - INTRODUCE THE JEZEBEL SITTING NEXT TO YOU, JR!
Kelly - ZIP IT, NERD!
Cole - A divas match is bad enough, but we’ve got all these divas in here - IT’S GONNA BE A TRAINWRECK!
Cole - They say your photos are airbrushed.
Kelly - The red carpet photographers take the pictures and put them right online, so there’s no time. It takes at least an hour to do photoshop.
Cole - For one thing, I HAVE A RED CARPET IN MY LIVING ROOM, and for another, they can do plenty.
Kelly - No they can’t!
JR - AND ALL THE WHILE, A BATTLE ROYAL IS GOING ON.
Kelly - The Bellas are up to their usual tricks.
Cole - WHAT TRICKS?
Kelly - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THEM COMPETE!?
Beth - Kelly, your days as the perky blonde bimbo are OVER!
Truth - WHAT’S UP MIZ!?
Miz - REALLY!? Who are you talking to? YOURSELF!?
Truth - We are pretty much the same.
Miz - I assure you, we’re nothing alike.
TrutH - Did you not say that HHH is a huge mistake?
Miz - Yes, we have TWO WWE CHAMPIONS! It’s not just a mistake…
Truth - IT’S A CONSPIRACY! C-O-NSPIRACY!
Miz - Just because we’re tag partners doesn’t mean we need to share the same twisted views. Good lord…WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF!?
Truth - If Mista Hes was gonna bring Punk back all along, why were we in a tournament? Be careful - next thing ya know, you gonna get got!
Cole - THIS IS THE CITY WHERE THE ROCK FIRST SAID IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Speaking of that, here’s Josh Mathews.
Josh - John, what are your thoughts on Punk?
Cena - He’s not afraid to say what he thinks, but you live by the sword, and die by the sword. And HHH says that tonight, he’ll make his decision, and I think I’ll be there.
Cole - At the Teen Choice Awards, Miz and Cena will be hanging out with the likes of THE KARDASHIANS!
Cole - LOOK AT WHAT MIZ HAS DONE COMPARED TO MORRISON!
JR - Abdominal stretch…
Cole - THAT’S AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH, J.R, AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH!
JR - Yes, it is.
Cole - MIZ SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR THE GREATER GOOD!
JR - Get some Sanka.
Cole - WHAT!? IT’S 2011
JR - So?
Cole - WHAT’S SANKA!?
JR - DECAF!
Cole - Morrison just got got!
HHH - Josh, have you shaved today? YA MIGHT WANNA DO THAT! I’ve been in the business for what, 20 years? CM Punk thinks he dropped a bomb by mentioning my wife - that’s been a deal for 10 years. GET SOME NEW MATERIAL!
King - Vickie looks a lot better now.
JR - I think Dolph’s…
Cole - I THINK VICKIE LOOKS GREAT - SHE’S CLEARLY NOT EATING JR’S BBQ SAUCE!
Vickie - Excuse me. I SAID EXCUSE ME! WITH ALL THE CONTROVERSY ABOUT TWO WWE CHAMPIONS, THERE’S A MAN PROVING THAT HE’S BETTER THAN BOTH CENA AND PUNK - MY CLIENT, DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Dolph - After my victory, I told everyone to AND I QUOTE - FOLLOW THAT! That was directed towards every superstar under contract. What that means is that no one will ever have my skills. My techniques. My talent. AND NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THIS CHARISMA! As a matter of fact, I’m more of a man that anyone in the arena, or anyone in the locker room. (Riley comes out)
Riley - Dolph, if you’re such a man, why do you hide behind a woman? Or in your case, Vickie?
Vickie - EXCUSE ME!? Thanks to me, Dolph is a former world heavyweight champion, a former IC Champion, and he’s the current U.S. Champion!
Riley - Excuse me. Dolph, she brings up a good point - you’ve had a hell of a career so far, but what’s the last time you accomplished anything on your own? You remind me of someone I know very well - The Miz. He hid behind me and you are hiding behind her. Yes you are. You talk about being a man? Right? You wanna be a real man!? DROP HER! Excuse me - or are you afraid that without Vickie, you’ll be exposed as a bleach blonde, arrogant fraud?
Dolph - You don’t belong out here with me… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
King - IT’S THE ITALIAN STALLION AND ZACK RYDER, THE STAR OF HIS OWN HIT INTERNET SHOW Z THE LONG…TRUE LONG ISLAND STORY!
King - Cole, I wish your parents had never met.
Cole - Yeah, LET’S TALK ABOUT PARENTS AGAIN!
Cole - THIS GUY SPENT $1500 ON A MAKESHIFT TITLE THAT SAYS INTERNET CHAMPION! IT’S LIKE WEARING A CROWN OR WEARING A COWBOY HAT WHEN YOU’RE NOT A COWBOY!
King - Or you holding a mic when you’re not a commentator.
Cole - WHAT IS A BROSKI?
Josh - What do you feel HHH’s decision will be?
Punk - The magic 8 ball said cloudy at best. I’m waiting around like everyone else. I was testing Hunter earlier, and I’m sure our relationship will be business as usual. At MITB, Cena and I had a classic, and I won, so I’m the champ!
Cole - JR, I wanna know why you, on twitter, said that I’M A TOOL!?
JR - Because I think you’re a tool
Cole - YOU HID BEHIND TWITTER!
Cole - Del Rio is a mixed martial artist!
Cole - AIR MAIL!
JR. - Air Mail…
Cole - Well, you get yours via the Pony Express.
King - Here comes HHH to announce himself as champion.
HHH - For the first time in WW history, there are two WWE Champions. Cena (boos) and CM Punk (cheers) Both have legit reasons why they should be considered Champion, but what I’m gonna do…is basically…
Ace - Hold up a second, Hunter.
Guy - PUSH ZACK RYDER!
Ace - MY NAME IS MR. JOHN LAURINITIS. I AM THE EXECUTIVE VP OF TALENT RELATIONS - a job I took over from Jim Ross. It is my job to sign talent and manage their contracts.
HHH - When did this become career day? What is this about? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
Ace - You’ve been a part of the WWE Corporate structure for a short time, I have worked here for over ten years. I know how Vince thinks, and I know how he’d want you to handle this situation. STRIP THE WWE TITLE FROM JOHN CENA! (Cena comes out happy)
Cena - INTERESTING GROUP HERE TONIGHT. VERY INTERESTING GROUP! (more boos) Cuz they know tonight’s the night for a huge decision. IT’S BIG. THINKING. THINKING. That’s something you’ve never done. YOU’VE BEEN VINCE’S RIGHT HAND FOR 10 YEARS, AND THE REASON YOU’VE BEEN HERE SO LONG IS YOU’RE THE YES MEN HE’S BEEN TALKING ABOUT. WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT YES MEN, HE SHOULD’VE BEEN PUTTING A PICTURE OF YOU ON THE TRON. YES VINCE, YOU’RE BUILT LIKE A GREEK GOD. YOU DON’T THINK, I THINK. BECAUSE WHEN VINCE SAID TO THROW THE MATCH OUT, I KNOCKED YOUR TEETH OUT! Now Hunter, I’ve been through a lot here. I’ve won titles, and lost them. If this is legit, and the time comes to lose it, fine, but I won’t have it stripped by a guy in a suit who used to carry a skateboard.
Ace - YOU’RE OUT OF LINE. I didn’t make my decision due to your unprofessional behavior, I made it out of the fact that Punk beat you.
Cena - You bring up the PPV a lot - a lot of good moments. My favorite was when I punched you in the face! IT WAS LIKE HIS FACE CAVED AROUND MY FIST! It was so good, I should do it again now. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’LL DO. I’LL PUNCH YOUR FACE NOW.
HHH - Don’t look at me, I don’t havea problem with that.
Cena - Hunte,r are you gonna listen to that guy? Cuz Punk says he’d better and he beat me? At WM 22, I beat you, does that mean I can strip you of being COO?
HHH - I’m not gonna strip you of anything - your claim is legit. When Vince, I didn’t speak until Punk until Comic Con, I didn’t hear a thing from him until you were in the ring with Rey. I’m not gonna strip you of the WWE Championship. Now…(static hits)
Punk - I’ve been here before - you’re not gonna strip Cena of the paper title? So now that I’m back full-time…(Punk chant) Correct. Ya gonna strip me of MY title? MY CHAMPIONSHIP THAT I WON WHEN I BEAT HIM!? Everything’s gonna go back to normal? Where we just put smiles on faces and I find a urinal to throw up in?
HHH - Nah, if you let me finish…
Cena - Hunter…
HHH - You need to stop whining like girls, and it’s not Hunter - I’M YOUR BOSS. We’ll settle it MY WAY. SUMMERSLAM. THE WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA VERSUS THE WWE CHAMPION CM PUNK. ONE MATCH, ONE WINNER, ONE UNDISPUTED WWE CHAMPION!
J.R. - SUMMERSLAM WILL REDEFINE THE WWE TITLE!
King - JR, welcome back permanently!
JR - It’s good to be back. Almost glad to see Cole.
Crowd - CM Punk! CM Punk!
Punk - THE CHAMP IS HERE! And now the $64,000 question, WHY DID I COME BACK!? If I could be afforded some time, I’ll tell you a story. I knew for a long time that my contract expired on 7-17-11, so as far as a year back, I was struggling with this decision. On one hand, I love the place I work, but I hate the people I work with. I could either deal with the status quo, or speak my mind. I caused just a little bit of change. The domino effect. The next night on Raw, Vince was relieved of his day-to-day duties! THAT’S CHANGE! That’s tangible change - I can feel it in the air, and I’d like to take some credit for that change. But some of it goes onto you, the audience. For far too long, you’ve been fed scraps. You haven’t been given what you’re entitled to - I’m here to give that to you and make this fun again. For everybody. Am I unorthodox? Do people get scared when I have a mic? YA DAMN BETCHA MAN, I’d have it no other way. I was sitting at home, looking at the championship, and realized that the voice of the voiceless needs to be heard by those who need to hear it the most - you. I can’t do that with a megaphone and at media outlets like Comic Con or Kimmel. I can’t make this industry what it SHOULD be sitting on my couch in Chicago! I pickd up the phone, and as much as I hate being on the phone, and my timing couldn’t have been better. In my short absence, we’ve resorted to the status quo - CENA IS PARADING AROUND AS THE WWE CHAMPION! (massive boos) Cena is as much champion as this guy sitting in front row with his Shop Zone replica. What you have is a belt, what I have is a championship title! So much for change - same old, same old. Cena, no matter what the outcome of whatever bogus tournament we had while I was on vacation, no matter hwo thinks they’re entitled to rematches - one fact - I HOLD IN MY HANDS THE MOST IMPORTANT TITLE IN THE WORLD! THIS INDICATES TO EVERYBODY THAT I AM THE BEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER! I AM THE ONE, THE ONLY WWE CHAMPION! (HHH comes out) It’s time to play the game!
Cole - On twitter, Cena called this the most important Raw of HHH’s life!
Punk - LET’S HEAR IT FOR HIM - H H H IS THE C O O.
HHH - Thanks for that warm reception, and I’ll address the WWE Title situation. I’ll also explain why I re-signed you. It comes down to one thing - business. It was good for business. The same reason why I brought back J.R. And John Morrison. It was good for business. The WWE Universe wanted it and it’s my job as COO to try and give them exactly what they want. THE WWE UNIVERSE SPOKE, SAID THEY WANTED CM PUNK, PUT MY FEELINGS ASIDE AND GAVE THEM CM PUNK!
Punk - Personal feelings?
HHH - It was meant as a compliment, take it as that.
Punk - I’m interested to know now PERSONALLY what your feelings are for CM Punk.
HHH - My feelings are irrelevant, but I think that you’re a smug, overrated, attention-seeking… (boos) guy that puts a little too much stock in his own hype. Not that that’s a bad thing.
Punk - I’m glad we can be honest. It’s kinda like looking in the mirror, Hunter? Am I smug? Yeah. Am I overrated? Not up to me to say. I wish you’d just come out and say that you hate my guts, but tell me what a commodity I am. We live in the era that VKM built and he surrounded himself with great men who said YES YES YES. And they screwed the pooch on talent, because they let guys like Batista go. Guys like Mick Foley. Guys like Chris Jericho. Guys like Brock Lesnar. I could go on and on. Basically, not only did you not want to see me go anywhere else, you couldn’t afford to see me go anywhere else. I’M HOT. I’M A COMMODITY!
HHH - Since we’re telling the truth, let’s say why you re-signed.
Punk - I already did - I wanna facilitate change.
HHH - I think another way of looking at it is you did it for you. You wanted to hear your voice - the pipe bomb - if there’s no one around, does it make a noise? YOU NEEDED THE WWE UNIVERSE, BECAUSE WITHOUT THE WWE, THE PIPE BOMB AND YOU MEAN NOTHING! THAT, YOU DID FOR YOUR OWN EGO!
Punk - That’s a big maybe - 50/50 at best. I don’t like maybes, I like facts - truths. I’M THE WWE CHAMPION.
HHH - You are the WWE Champion. John Cena is also the WWE Champion.
And Punk, like I said before, I will fix that later tonight.
Punk - HOLD UP IN THE TRUCK! Hang on, I do lover Motorhead, but come back here. THIS PIPE BOMB IS GONNA GO OFF IN THE FOREST, AND I WANT YOU AROUND TO HEAR IT. JUST BECAUSE I SIGNED MY NAME TO A CONTRACT DOESN’T MEAN I’M GOING TO MEDIA TRAINING. I’M GONNA DO THINGS MY WAY. You wanna talk about egos? WELL, HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY, Let’s talk about you hogging the spotlight so many many many times. Even when you were carrying HBK’s bags, you told people what do to. How many times do to you tell people what to do? How many times did you say “well, I don’t think he has what it takes” while you were lying in bed with your wife? No matter what, if you’re in a suit, your gear, or a Conan rip-off, you’re a bully. I’m not picking a fight, but be careful who you push. BECAUSE I LIKE TO PUSH BACK!
HHH - This comes down to ego, right, and I’ll tell ya I got a massive ego. And now, that massive ego is telling me to slap all those all those rotten tattoos off your skinny-fat ass! But I won’t, because this is bigger than that. I took the job as COO for them! That comes with responsibilities, certain rules. Maybe I don’t like them, but I respect them, and for them, I won’t break those rules. Punk, I would strongly, strongly suggest you don’t break ‘em either.
Punk - Or what? You gonna beat me up? You gonna fight me? Punch me in the face? Or do ya gotta ask your wife permission first? PIPE BOMB!
Cole - There’s Morrison doing that goofy parkour.
Cole - INTRODUCE THE JEZEBEL SITTING NEXT TO YOU, JR!
Kelly - ZIP IT, NERD!
Cole - A divas match is bad enough, but we’ve got all these divas in here - IT’S GONNA BE A TRAINWRECK!
Cole - They say your photos are airbrushed.
Kelly - The red carpet photographers take the pictures and put them right online, so there’s no time. It takes at least an hour to do photoshop.
Cole - For one thing, I HAVE A RED CARPET IN MY LIVING ROOM, and for another, they can do plenty.
Kelly - No they can’t!
JR - AND ALL THE WHILE, A BATTLE ROYAL IS GOING ON.
Kelly - The Bellas are up to their usual tricks.
Cole - WHAT TRICKS?
Kelly - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THEM COMPETE!?
Beth - Kelly, your days as the perky blonde bimbo are OVER!
Truth - WHAT’S UP MIZ!?
Miz - REALLY!? Who are you talking to? YOURSELF!?
Truth - We are pretty much the same.
Miz - I assure you, we’re nothing alike.
TrutH - Did you not say that HHH is a huge mistake?
Miz - Yes, we have TWO WWE CHAMPIONS! It’s not just a mistake…
Truth - IT’S A CONSPIRACY! C-O-NSPIRACY!
Miz - Just because we’re tag partners doesn’t mean we need to share the same twisted views. Good lord…WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF!?
Truth - If Mista Hes was gonna bring Punk back all along, why were we in a tournament? Be careful - next thing ya know, you gonna get got!
Cole - THIS IS THE CITY WHERE THE ROCK FIRST SAID IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Speaking of that, here’s Josh Mathews.
Josh - John, what are your thoughts on Punk?
Cena - He’s not afraid to say what he thinks, but you live by the sword, and die by the sword. And HHH says that tonight, he’ll make his decision, and I think I’ll be there.
Cole - At the Teen Choice Awards, Miz and Cena will be hanging out with the likes of THE KARDASHIANS!
Cole - LOOK AT WHAT MIZ HAS DONE COMPARED TO MORRISON!
JR - Abdominal stretch…
Cole - THAT’S AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH, J.R, AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH!
JR - Yes, it is.
Cole - MIZ SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR THE GREATER GOOD!
JR - Get some Sanka.
Cole - WHAT!? IT’S 2011
JR - So?
Cole - WHAT’S SANKA!?
JR - DECAF!
Cole - Morrison just got got!
HHH - Josh, have you shaved today? YA MIGHT WANNA DO THAT! I’ve been in the business for what, 20 years? CM Punk thinks he dropped a bomb by mentioning my wife - that’s been a deal for 10 years. GET SOME NEW MATERIAL!
King - Vickie looks a lot better now.
JR - I think Dolph’s…
Cole - I THINK VICKIE LOOKS GREAT - SHE’S CLEARLY NOT EATING JR’S BBQ SAUCE!
Vickie - Excuse me. I SAID EXCUSE ME! WITH ALL THE CONTROVERSY ABOUT TWO WWE CHAMPIONS, THERE’S A MAN PROVING THAT HE’S BETTER THAN BOTH CENA AND PUNK - MY CLIENT, DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Dolph - After my victory, I told everyone to AND I QUOTE - FOLLOW THAT! That was directed towards every superstar under contract. What that means is that no one will ever have my skills. My techniques. My talent. AND NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THIS CHARISMA! As a matter of fact, I’m more of a man that anyone in the arena, or anyone in the locker room. (Riley comes out)
Riley - Dolph, if you’re such a man, why do you hide behind a woman? Or in your case, Vickie?
Vickie - EXCUSE ME!? Thanks to me, Dolph is a former world heavyweight champion, a former IC Champion, and he’s the current U.S. Champion!
Riley - Excuse me. Dolph, she brings up a good point - you’ve had a hell of a career so far, but what’s the last time you accomplished anything on your own? You remind me of someone I know very well - The Miz. He hid behind me and you are hiding behind her. Yes you are. You talk about being a man? Right? You wanna be a real man!? DROP HER! Excuse me - or are you afraid that without Vickie, you’ll be exposed as a bleach blonde, arrogant fraud?
Dolph - You don’t belong out here with me… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
King - IT’S THE ITALIAN STALLION AND ZACK RYDER, THE STAR OF HIS OWN HIT INTERNET SHOW Z THE LONG…TRUE LONG ISLAND STORY!
King - Cole, I wish your parents had never met.
Cole - Yeah, LET’S TALK ABOUT PARENTS AGAIN!
Cole - THIS GUY SPENT $1500 ON A MAKESHIFT TITLE THAT SAYS INTERNET CHAMPION! IT’S LIKE WEARING A CROWN OR WEARING A COWBOY HAT WHEN YOU’RE NOT A COWBOY!
King - Or you holding a mic when you’re not a commentator.
Cole - WHAT IS A BROSKI?
Josh - What do you feel HHH’s decision will be?
Punk - The magic 8 ball said cloudy at best. I’m waiting around like everyone else. I was testing Hunter earlier, and I’m sure our relationship will be business as usual. At MITB, Cena and I had a classic, and I won, so I’m the champ!
Cole - JR, I wanna know why you, on twitter, said that I’M A TOOL!?
JR - Because I think you’re a tool
Cole - YOU HID BEHIND TWITTER!
Cole - Del Rio is a mixed martial artist!
Cole - AIR MAIL!
JR. - Air Mail…
Cole - Well, you get yours via the Pony Express.
King - Here comes HHH to announce himself as champion.
HHH - For the first time in WW history, there are two WWE Champions. Cena (boos) and CM Punk (cheers) Both have legit reasons why they should be considered Champion, but what I’m gonna do…is basically…
Ace - Hold up a second, Hunter.
Guy - PUSH ZACK RYDER!
Ace - MY NAME IS MR. JOHN LAURINITIS. I AM THE EXECUTIVE VP OF TALENT RELATIONS - a job I took over from Jim Ross. It is my job to sign talent and manage their contracts.
HHH - When did this become career day? What is this about? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
Ace - You’ve been a part of the WWE Corporate structure for a short time, I have worked here for over ten years. I know how Vince thinks, and I know how he’d want you to handle this situation. STRIP THE WWE TITLE FROM JOHN CENA! (Cena comes out happy)
Cena - INTERESTING GROUP HERE TONIGHT. VERY INTERESTING GROUP! (more boos) Cuz they know tonight’s the night for a huge decision. IT’S BIG. THINKING. THINKING. That’s something you’ve never done. YOU’VE BEEN VINCE’S RIGHT HAND FOR 10 YEARS, AND THE REASON YOU’VE BEEN HERE SO LONG IS YOU’RE THE YES MEN HE’S BEEN TALKING ABOUT. WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT YES MEN, HE SHOULD’VE BEEN PUTTING A PICTURE OF YOU ON THE TRON. YES VINCE, YOU’RE BUILT LIKE A GREEK GOD. YOU DON’T THINK, I THINK. BECAUSE WHEN VINCE SAID TO THROW THE MATCH OUT, I KNOCKED YOUR TEETH OUT! Now Hunter, I’ve been through a lot here. I’ve won titles, and lost them. If this is legit, and the time comes to lose it, fine, but I won’t have it stripped by a guy in a suit who used to carry a skateboard.
Ace - YOU’RE OUT OF LINE. I didn’t make my decision due to your unprofessional behavior, I made it out of the fact that Punk beat you.
Cena - You bring up the PPV a lot - a lot of good moments. My favorite was when I punched you in the face! IT WAS LIKE HIS FACE CAVED AROUND MY FIST! It was so good, I should do it again now. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’LL DO. I’LL PUNCH YOUR FACE NOW.
HHH - Don’t look at me, I don’t havea problem with that.
Cena - Hunte,r are you gonna listen to that guy? Cuz Punk says he’d better and he beat me? At WM 22, I beat you, does that mean I can strip you of being COO?
HHH - I’m not gonna strip you of anything - your claim is legit. When Vince, I didn’t speak until Punk until Comic Con, I didn’t hear a thing from him until you were in the ring with Rey. I’m not gonna strip you of the WWE Championship. Now…(static hits)
Punk - I’ve been here before - you’re not gonna strip Cena of the paper title? So now that I’m back full-time…(Punk chant) Correct. Ya gonna strip me of MY title? MY CHAMPIONSHIP THAT I WON WHEN I BEAT HIM!? Everything’s gonna go back to normal? Where we just put smiles on faces and I find a urinal to throw up in?
HHH - Nah, if you let me finish…
Cena - Hunter…
HHH - You need to stop whining like girls, and it’s not Hunter - I’M YOUR BOSS. We’ll settle it MY WAY. SUMMERSLAM. THE WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA VERSUS THE WWE CHAMPION CM PUNK. ONE MATCH, ONE WINNER, ONE UNDISPUTED WWE CHAMPION!
J.R. - SUMMERSLAM WILL REDEFINE THE WWE TITLE!
As a bit of perspective...
Johnny Ace failed at riding a skateboard, went to Japan, replaced Russo in WCW, and is now a high-level official with the WWE making millions of dollars.
Shane Douglas failed at riding a skateboard, went to ECW, was booked in WCW, and is now wrestling Raven, Balls Mahoney, Al Snow, Rhino, and New Jack at ICP's Gathering of the Juggalos for presumably a half-dozen cases of Faygo & free pizza.
Johnny Ace failed at riding a skateboard, went to Japan, replaced Russo in WCW, and is now a high-level official with the WWE making millions of dollars.
Shane Douglas failed at riding a skateboard, went to ECW, was booked in WCW, and is now wrestling Raven, Balls Mahoney, Al Snow, Rhino, and New Jack at ICP's Gathering of the Juggalos for presumably a half-dozen cases of Faygo & free pizza.
Demolition Man
CAGiversary!
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Tonight's RAW pretty much took this angle which was on life support and killed it for good. I just can't give two flying s about this after tonight.
s about this after tonight.
mykevermin
CAGiversary!
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So where's that douchebag from last week who got so bent about my negative attitude towards the angle?
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.
Survivalism
CAGiversary!
IAmJericho Chris Jericho
Everyone is so excited that @CMPunk mentioned me on Raw. Newsflash...I don't give a shit. Mind ur own business and stop rippin me off Punk.
Well that's a fine how-do-you-do.
[quote name='mykevermin']So where's that douchebag from last week who got so bent about my negative attitude towards the angle?
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.[/QUOTE]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIvTRdG_wus&t=0m32s
Everyone is so excited that @CMPunk mentioned me on Raw. Newsflash...I don't give a shit. Mind ur own business and stop rippin me off Punk.
Well that's a fine how-do-you-do.
[quote name='mykevermin']So where's that douchebag from last week who got so bent about my negative attitude towards the angle?
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.[/QUOTE]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIvTRdG_wus&t=0m32s
OnyxPrimal
CAGiversary!
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[quote name='manthing']Umm, I hate to tell ya, but I knew that and used it as a joke.
I mean 8 years is long enough before we can joke about it, right? It's not like he killed his wife and son...
Too soon?[/QUOTE]
Hey, you said you were casual! Could have passed you by.
I mean 8 years is long enough before we can joke about it, right? It's not like he killed his wife and son...
Too soon?[/QUOTE]
Hey, you said you were casual!
Could have passed you by.
[quote name='mykevermin']EDIT: I didn't watch Raw tonight, so I'm about to go read the recap. Doesn't sound like they did anything to redeem the faith of people here. Anyone still think there's still potential in the angle?[/QUOTE]
You're supposed to give it more time. Keep hope alive!
[quote name='mykevermin']So where's that douchebag from last week who got so bent about my negative attitude towards the angle?
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.[/QUOTE]
To be fair, he was hardly the only one that was all "wait and see".
I hope Punk only signed an extension and not a full-blown contract.
You're supposed to give it more time. Keep hope alive!
[quote name='mykevermin']So where's that douchebag from last week who got so bent about my negative attitude towards the angle?
I'm ready to do the "I told you so" dance now.[/QUOTE]
To be fair, he was hardly the only one that was all "wait and see".
I hope Punk only signed an extension and not a full-blown contract.
[quote name='mykevermin']
EDIT: I didn't watch Raw tonight, so I'm about to go read the recap. Doesn't sound like they did anything to redeem the faith of people here. Anyone still think there's still potential in the angle?[/QUOTE]
They did ear us with Punk's theme all night (I can picture Vince mandating that he paid for it so you damn well better use it 40 times per Raw). Punk came off as a little bit too...cute...tonight. Making Stephanie jokes and slapping H with a tie doesn't really do much for anyone - especially given that H's last major feud involved somebody assaulting said wife.
Johnny Ace was just a pointless distraction during the main event segment as well - it was about 15 minutes of bullshit that didn't focus on the main event at Summerslam. Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.
EDIT: I didn't watch Raw tonight, so I'm about to go read the recap. Doesn't sound like they did anything to redeem the faith of people here. Anyone still think there's still potential in the angle?[/QUOTE]
They did ear
us with Punk's theme all night (I can picture Vince mandating that he paid for it so you damn well better use it 40 times per Raw). Punk came off as a little bit too...cute...tonight. Making Stephanie jokes and slapping H with a tie doesn't really do much for anyone - especially given that H's last major feud involved somebody assaulting said wife.Johnny Ace was just a pointless distraction during the main event segment as well - it was about 15 minutes of bullshit that didn't focus on the main event at Summerslam. Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.
[quote name='OnyxPrimal']Hey, you said you were casual! Could have passed you by.[/QUOTE]
He debuted as Hardcore Holly's cousin in what, 1999? 2000?
When anyone associated w/ WWE dies, it usually gets a google news front page blurb.
Plus I did mention HHH calling Booker T everything but a n***er, so that puts me at 2003? for watching all the time.
Could have passed you by.[/QUOTE]He debuted as Hardcore Holly's cousin in what, 1999? 2000?
When anyone associated w/ WWE dies, it usually gets a google news front page blurb.
Plus I did mention HHH calling Booker T everything but a n***er, so that puts me at 2003? for watching all the time.
Survivalism
CAGiversary!
[quote name='diddy310']They did ear us with Punk's theme all night (I can picture Vince mandating that he paid for it so you damn well better use it 40 times per Raw). Punk came off as a little bit too...cute...tonight. Making Stephanie jokes and slapping H with a tie doesn't really do much for anyone - especially given that H's last major feud involved somebody assaulting said wife.
Johnny Ace was just a pointless distraction during the main event segment as well - it was about 15 minutes of bullshit that didn't focus on the main event at Summerslam. Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.[/QUOTE]
14 days ago HHH wasn't in charge and demanding all the spotlight for himself.
us with Punk's theme all night (I can picture Vince mandating that he paid for it so you damn well better use it 40 times per Raw). Punk came off as a little bit too...cute...tonight. Making Stephanie jokes and slapping H with a tie doesn't really do much for anyone - especially given that H's last major feud involved somebody assaulting said wife.Johnny Ace was just a pointless distraction during the main event segment as well - it was about 15 minutes of bullshit that didn't focus on the main event at Summerslam. Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.[/QUOTE]
14 days ago HHH wasn't in charge and demanding all the spotlight for himself.
k
mykevermin
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 34 (97%)
[quote name='neocisco']You're supposed to give it more time. Keep hope alive![/QUOTE]
I voted for Obama in 2008. Hope can go jump off a cliff and die in a fire.
Pardon the political diversion, but "hope," sarcastic or not, ain't my strong suit anymore.
[quote name='diddy310']Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.[/QUOTE]
Okay, to be fair, I did come home in time to hear Cena talk (in the corny Cena way, and without his hawdcoah Boston Bad Boy Tony Rumble accent, since they're in the heartland now) about wanting to punch Laurinitis in the face (why?). I saw them lead us in the most hamfisted way possible to a "unification" match at SummerSlam. And I saw them do the alternating music shit, thinking that was wayyy too corny to pass up missing The Daily Show. I turned Raw on at 10:55, and turned it off by 11:01.
That's quite the trajectory, given that two weeks ago I was ready to spend $25 on a t-shirt, $30 on a ticket, and $20 on a Blu-Ray of MITB. Now I'm buying none of those things.
EDIT: To be fair, they'll pop a rating tonight. Probably high 3.5, maybe even push a 3.6. Next week high 3.4, and by the first week of September they'll be back to the 3.2/3.3 range. Old wine in new bottles, as the saying goes.
I voted for Obama in 2008. Hope can go jump off a cliff and die in a fire.
Pardon the political diversion, but "hope," sarcastic or not, ain't my strong suit anymore.
[quote name='diddy310']Punk and Cena raising their belts to alternating entrance music also did nothing for me. This was the most intense feud in wrestling 14 days ago and now it's two guys having what might as well have been a dance-off.[/QUOTE]
Okay, to be fair, I did come home in time to hear Cena talk (in the corny Cena way, and without his hawdcoah Boston Bad Boy Tony Rumble accent, since they're in the heartland now) about wanting to punch Laurinitis in the face (why?). I saw them lead us in the most hamfisted way possible to a "unification" match at SummerSlam. And I saw them do the alternating music shit, thinking that was wayyy too corny to pass up missing The Daily Show. I turned Raw on at 10:55, and turned it off by 11:01.
That's quite the trajectory, given that two weeks ago I was ready to spend $25 on a t-shirt, $30 on a ticket, and $20 on a Blu-Ray of MITB. Now I'm buying none of those things.
EDIT: To be fair, they'll pop a rating tonight. Probably high 3.5, maybe even push a 3.6. Next week high 3.4, and by the first week of September they'll be back to the 3.2/3.3 range. Old wine in new bottles, as the saying goes.
[quote name='Scorch']I was one of the ones that said give the angle a chance and let it fully play out before judging it. I take my statement back.[/QUOTE]
Props for owning up to it. I'll even forgive you for that Twitter tirade.
[quote name='mykevermin']...about wanting to punch Laurinitis in the face (why?)...[/QUOTE]
Because Punk singled him out first and Cena is the type that wants to be a "cool kid" (except when he doesn't, natch) so he's all like "yeah, me too, guys!". Didn't he do the same thing a few weeks ago about wanting to punch Vince too?
Props for owning up to it. I'll even forgive you for that Twitter tirade.
[quote name='mykevermin']...about wanting to punch Laurinitis in the face (why?)...[/QUOTE]
Because Punk singled him out first and Cena is the type that wants to be a "cool kid" (except when he doesn't, natch) so he's all like "yeah, me too, guys!". Didn't he do the same thing a few weeks ago about wanting to punch Vince too?
I'll watch through SummerSlam, but when Cena's theme hits in celebration of his unification victory, I'm out until Rock comes back.
And why the continuing crapping on Rey? YOU chose to put the title on him. The fans pretty much asked for it, right? So when WWE shits on Rey, they shit on the fans, right?
And why the continuing crapping on Rey? YOU chose to put the title on him. The fans pretty much asked for it, right? So when WWE shits on Rey, they shit on the fans, right?
- Status
bread's done