These get SOOOOO wrong sometimes....
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A man in a trenchcoat walked up to a park bench where three elderly ladies were seated. He opened his trenchcoat, and being completely naked, exposed himself to them.
The first little old lady had a stroke.
The second little old lady had a stroke.
The third little old ladies arms were too short to reach.
-Bad Subbie joke....
Whats the best part about banging twentynine year olds?
Thers twenty of them!
-SICK SICK
ing SICK!!!
2 guys are fishing. The fish aren't biting so they are talking, First guy says, "Been 3 weeks since me and the wife have had sex." Second guy exclaims, " 3 weeks? What the heck is wrong?" First guy, " I can't, she has gonorrhea." Second guy is like, " What about a blow job?"
"Can't, she has pyorrhea." 2nd guy asks, "What about the back door?" 1st guy replies, "Can't she's got diarrhea."
2nd guy exclaims, " Why do you keep her around?"
"Well, she's got worms and you know how I like to fish."
-OW!
A man walks into a pharmacy, with a great, big smile on his face. "I'd like some condoms, please!"
"Okay, that'll be five bucks for the condoms, and a quarter for tax."
The man's smile disappears. "TACKS!?! I thought you rolled them on!"
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A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place.
They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment.
He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said:
"Come on guys, we're almost there!"
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Whats the most popular pick-up line in a gay bar?
Mind if I push your stool in?
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I hate M&M's. They are so hard to peal.
s I don't get that one.
