(on Victory Road)Ad Guy - IT WAS A GUY THE WHOLE WORLD WAS WATCHING!
Tenay - VICTORY ROAD ENDED WITH ONE OF THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL ENDINGS IN THE HISTORY OF TNA! HOW WILL SAMOA JOE AND TNA REACT!? FIND OUT ON IMPACT!
Tenay - JOE TOTALLY DISRESPECTED THE ICON!
DW - WHY DOES BOOKER T THINK HE’S CHAMPION WHEN A REFEREE DIDN’T COUNT THE PIN - ONLY HIS WIFE DID!
Tenay - Booker didn’t pin Joe, but he still has possession of the Big Gold Belt - the TNA CROWN!
(crowd chants You Suck)Booker - Thank you. Thank you all, I just want to say a few words. I PROVED TO EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD THAT JOE DIDN’T BEAT ME! I proved that I am the greatest champion of all time! My lovely wife counted the 1-2-3 as Joe lie lifeless, so right here, now, before all of you, I’m gonna raise this title, and declare your new world heavyweight champion!
Cornette - HOLD ON, ONE COTTON PICKIN’ MINUTE BOOKER T! You’re not gonna declare yourself anything - you’re gonna hand that belt over to me so I can deliver it back to the REAL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, Samoa Joe!
Tenay - A-MEN!
Cornette - So if you want the belt, you’re gonna have to wait for the rematch at Hard Justice!
Tenay - YOU HEARD THAT - IN TRENTON, NEW JERSEY, JOE WILL FACE BOOKER T IN A RETURN MATCH AT HARD JUSTICE!
Joe - Book…
Booker - YOU DON’T GOTTA COME OUT HERE CRYING, MAN! You been crying all week, you want it that bad! You know you can’t beat me! You can’t beat me on your best day! You want it that bad, here, YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!
Joe - Booker! Do yourself a favor and shut your mouth!
DW - WE ALL WANNA HEAR JOE’S THOUGHTS!
Joe - How you can come out here in a rat skin coat and call yourself a champion after I whipped your ass is beyond me. I’m gonna let you keep my belt because I’ve never taken a handout from a punk and I never will! You can keep it on 2 conditions - every day you hold it, you’re a target to me until you realize the mistake you’ve made. And 2, when the champ is ready to claim his belt, I’m gonna take the belt and a piece of your ass with it!
Booker - All right, Joe, you want it at Hard Justice? I’m all in your head man, YOU CAN’T BEAT ME, JOE! ON YOUR BEST DAY JOE, YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!
Joe - Booker, do you have what it takes to beat me? Can you do to me what I did to you in front of your wife!? At Hard Justice, you shine the champ’s belt up real nice, and Booker, you tell the boogeyman Sting after I get you, Joe’s gonna get his ass too!
Tenay - YES! LET THE BEST MAN WIN AT HARD JUSTICE! TO THE BACK WITH LAUREN AND BEER MONEY!
Roode - LAUREN, DO YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY THAT I HAVE TO READ THE FINANCIAL SECTION STANDING UP!? Tonight, it’s BEER MONEY REVENGE! We’re gonna beat up every vacatationer and fan here! Now that isn’t funny - it’s money.
Storm - BEER MONEY!
Sign - WWE is number 1!
Kaz - JB, I didn’t just let down TNA - I’ve let down guys in TNA before, like Amazing Red and Christopher Daniels. Tonight, I see a light at the end of a tunnel? Do I go towards it? Or is it a train!?
Tenay - THE ROLLER COASTER-LIKE CAREER OF KAZ HIT ANOTHER VALLEY ON SUNDAY WHEN TEAM MEXICO WON THE WORLD X CUP! TONIGHT, IT CAN HIT ANOTHER PEAK IF HE WINS THE TITLE HE HASN’T HELD SINCE 2004!
DW - FOLKS, I IMPORE YOU TO GET THE REPLAY OF VICTORY ROAD! IT HAS THE MOST AMAZING WORLD X CUP EVER AND THE CONTROVERSY OVER THE WORLD TITLE MATCH!
Tenay - KAZ HAS PETEY IN A PREDICAMENT!
Tenay - PETEY’S GOT THE TRUNKS! HE GOT THE TRUNKS AND HE GOT THE PIN! TO THE BACK WITH JEREMY BORASH!
EY - Tonight’s the fight meeting of the Prince Justice Brotherhood! No one else can know! You can’t tell anybody - nobody JB. (JB looks at the camera) Or I’ll kill you.
(Beer Money is attacking the production staff - GOOD, HIT THE DIRECTOR)
Ad Guy - IN OUR WORLD, NOTHING IS MORE EPIC THAN BOUND FOR GLORY! THIS IS THE ONE!
Curry Man - Fork?
Shark Boy - FORK YOU, BUDDY!
JB - Eric?
Super Eric - I know not of this Eric, I am SUPER ERIC! (Super Eric theme plays) Excuse me, I have to drain the Super Lizard.
JB - What?
Shark Boy - It means he’s gotta take a piss.
Rave - WE LOVE YOU, BALTIMORE!
Tenay - HERE COMES CHRISTY HEMME, ALONG WITH THE NEWLY NAMED LANCE ROCK!
Hoyt - I’M ABOUT TO ROCK YOUR WORLD!
Tenay - Celebrities change their names all the time - his legal name is now Lance Rock!
DW - YEAH, THINK ABOUT THE EDGE FROM U2!
Cornette - Ladies, girls… QUIEEETTTTTTTT! I need a spokeswoman - ONE! TONIGHT, THERE’LL BE A 10 WOMAN GAUNTLET MATCH AND THE 1 WINNER FACES TAYLOR! GO, GO, FLY AWAY! I HOPE NONE OF YOU ARE MARRIED - IT‘D DRIVE A MAN TO SUICIDE!!
Traci - You should take me up on my offer.(Cornette stares at Tracy’s tits, Borash looks at her ass)
Cornette - WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GET OFF MY DESK!
Tenay - LET’S PREVIEW TNA’S NEWEST TALK SEGMENT - KAREN’S ANGLE!
Lauren - OH MY GOD! WE NEED HELP! HELP! THEY’RE TOURISTS!
Tenay - NOW THEY’VE GOT TOO FAR! THEY’VE CROSSED THE LINE! THEY’RE ATTACKING FANS IN THE UNIVERSAL THEME PARK!
DW - THINK ABOUT THE POSITION THEY’RE PUTTING TNA IN LEGALLY IF THEY ATTACK THEM!
Tenay - THAT’S KURT ANGLE AND TEAM 3D MASQUERADING AS STING!
Angle - Here in TNA, anything is possible. After two decades of kissing babies and hollering like am imbicle, you showed your true colors at Victory Road by shattering the hopes and dreams of the little Stiners with one swing of a bat. Why? Because he’s pissed and he’s not gonna take it anymore. He’s tired of all that we do for you fans and you don’t appreciate it. He’s tired of all the young punks in this business who don’t appreciate it!
Tenay - WELL I WAS JUST GONNA ASK HOW HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS! ARE YOU BUYING INTO THAT CONVERSATION!? AJ, CHRISTIAN, AND RHINO ARE OUT TO CONFRONT KURT AND 3D!
AJ - Kurt, the only thing you’re gonna be talking to is my rand hand - NO ONE KNOWS WHY STING DID WHAT HE DID TO JOE! I trust Sting - I’m sure he did the right thing, but I’m not sure why. He’ll let us know why, but until then, we’re not here to talk about Sting, we’re here to talk about you three morons. Because as far as I’m concerned…
Ray - BECAUSE WHY!? BECAUSE WHY?! BECAUSE YOU WANT A REMATCH!? THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT! FOR THE PAST FOUR DAYS, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN LICKING YOUR WOUNDS! NOT TO MENTION, RHINO, WE TRIED TO BREAK YOUR NECK, AND CHRISTIAN, WE PUT YOU THROUGH A GLASS TABLE! AND NOW YOU WANT A REMATCH!? YOU KNOW SOMETHING, AJ, YOU ARE A CHILD IN A GROWN MAN’S BUSINESS! RHINO, YOU HAVE NO BRAINS! (fans chant Instant Classic) Yeah, and speaking of the Instant Classic, Christian, I’ve known you for 10 years and your ego is bigger than Awesome Kong’s toilet seat! YOU WANT A REMATCH, YOU GOT IT - SIX-MAN TABLE MATCH!
Tenay - WOW! COMING TO TRENTON, NEW JERSEY!
Cage - Let me ask you a question, Silent Bob? Yeah, I’m a little red in the face since you put me through a glass table AND IT’S THE WORST PAIN I’VE EVER FELT, but it gave me time to reflect! WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU TO GIVE ANY KIND OF ORDERS!? LIKE WHAT KIND OF MATCH WE’RE GONNA HAVE OR WHEN IT’S GONNA TAKE PLACE. The last time you gave an order that was taken seriously, the response was “thank you, please drive through.”. It’s like this, it’s not gonna take place at Hard Justice - it’s gonna take place here live on Impact! And it’s not just gonna be a table match - 1, 2, 3, IT’S GONNA BE A FIVE TABLE ELIMINATION MATCH! THAT MEANS YOU GO THROUGH A TBALE, YOU’RE OUT! (fans chant We Want Tables) Hey, we’re over here - go home, take the week off, keep putting yourselves over, and think about the beating you gave us, and keep thinking about it until you hear these words… (crowd chants 3D sucks) Right until these words - RHINO, GET THE TABLES!
(after a video package nixed the first entrance)Penzer - THE SECOND PERSON IN THE GAUNTLET MATCH - GAIL KIM!
Tenay - BOY IS NEXT WEEK’S IMPACT SHAPING UP TO BE A HUGE ONE!
DW - FIVE TABLE ELIMINATION MATCH AND THE KNOCKOUTS TITLE WILL BE ON THE LINE!
(Jackie pulls Love off of Kim)Love - I HATE HER!
Tenay - Rhaka hits a kick TO THE BACK of Roxxi!
Tenay - I WONDER WHAT THE STORY IS BEHIND THAT PROPOSITION WITH TRACI AND JIM CORNETTE!?
Ad Guy - 2007 WASN’T JUST A NUMBER - IT WAS THE SIX-SIDED RING!
DW - OOH, GAIL KIM JUST GOT KICKED RIGHT THERE IN THE UPPER LEG!
Tenay - I THINK THAT GAIL KIM SHOULD ELIMINATE ANEGLINA LOVE BEFORE VELVET SKY CAN GET BACK IN THERE!
JB - Booker, it’s good to see that you’ve recovered from Victory Road, and Sharmell, you look beautiful. Booker, what’s the match gonna be?
(thumbing through a magazine)Booker - I’m gonna face…THIS GUY! Consequences Creed. He reminds me of the movie Rocky, where the young guy got a chance at the champ! 911, I’m requesting an ambulance outside of the Impact Zone right now! Tonight’s match is going to be a stretcher match!
DW - IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN TNA LIVE, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO CROSS THE LINE!
Lethal - THIS ENDS WHEN I SAY IT ENDS, MEAN J.B.! Things were fine until he threw it all away.
Val - WHAT. DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO!?
Lethal - Take a left at the fork and get the hell off the road!
Val - You know, Jay. I think you’re being too hard on him.
DW - I can’t figure women out, and I’ve been married to one for 17 years!
(Lethal attacks Dutt)Val - STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU’RE GONNA HURT HIM!
(Dutt feigns a chairshot and blames Lethal)Val - WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT’D YOU DO!? WHAT’D YOU DO!? YOU’RE AN ANIMAL!
Storm - To hell with TNA and Spike’s rules on man on woman violence. Let them fine us - you got money, right?
Roode -Yeah.
Roode - CUT THE MUSIC! YOU PEOPLE SCREWED WITH US AT VICTORY ROAD! LET’S JUST SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH HERE TONIGHT! STORM, LET’S GET WHIPPIN’!
Tenay - LET’S GET WHIPPIN!’?
DW - ARE THEY INSANE!?
DW - WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE THINKING!?
Tenay - YOU TALK ABOUT CROSSING THE LINE!? THEY TOOK A FAN WEARING AN LAX T-SHIRT! THINK OF THE LEGAL JEOPARDY THIS IS PUTTING TNA IN!
Tenay - TNA EMPLOYEES PAT KENNEY AND SCOTT D’AMORE ARE IN THE RING TRYING TO REASON WITH THEM AS CO-WORKERS, AND THEY’RE WHIPPING THEM!
DW - AND THEY TOOK THE BELT OFF D’AMORE! IT SHOULD BE A CRIME TO DO THAT!
Tenay - DON’T LET ‘EM CUFF YA, HECTOR!
DW - THE NUMBERS GAME!
Angle - THIS IS TEAM 3D - THEY HAVE NEVER LOST A TABLES MATCH! NEXT WEEK, WE’RE NOT COMING ALONE! (Angle, Ray do woos!)
J.B. - WHAT’S THAT MEAN!? IS STING GONNA IN YOUR CORNER!?
Angle - Yeah - WOOOO!
Creed -Booker, you may be the five time, five time, five time, five time (does a spinerooni) FIVE TIME WCW CHAMPION! BUT YOU AIN’T READY FOR ME! YOU CAN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT!
Crowd - LET’S GO BOOKER! LET’S GO CREED!
Tenay - CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW TNA WOULD BE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN IF CONSEQUENCES CREED WAS TO GET THE UPSET TONIGHT!?
Tenay - COULD THIS BE THE ROCKY STORY!? CONSEQUENCES CREED VERSUS BOOKER T!
Tenay - I HAVE JUST BEEN HANDED A MEMO BY JIM CORNETTE - NEXT WEEK - THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS HAVE CHALLENGED BEER MONEY, AND THAT HAS BEEN ACCEPTED, THAT, IN ADDITION TO THE DEBUT OF KAREN’S ANGLE AND THE FIVE-TABLE ELIMINATION MATCH! NEXT WEEK IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST SHOW IN OUR HISTORY!!! ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE, ANGLE SAID THEY’RE NOT COMING ALONE!
DW - YES, HE SAID THAT STING WILL BE IN THEIR CORNER AND TOLD TOMKO TO INTERUPT KAREN’S ANGLE’S SEGMENT!
DW - THESE ARE CONCUSSION SHOTS! CREED’S BRAIN IS ROLLING AROUND IN HIS SKULL!
(after Sharmell tries to attack Joe with a bat)Tenay - IS THERE A STORY BEHIND THE BLACK BASEBALL BAT!? IS STING SENDING A MESSAGE TO SAMOA JOE!