The Official Simpsons Quotes Thread

Homer - "Dad, if it were up to me, You'd live forever! But try telling that to KilleMagee up there! (Points toward the sky)

(
 
[quote name='hx214']
Milhouse - Do you have a 1973 Carl Yastrzemski, when he had big side burns?

Comic Book Guy - Show me the thirty bux, cause if you ain't got it, I ain't getting off the stool

(Milhouse whips out the 30 bux)

Comic Book Guy - Oh.... Ok

Bart - Wait a minute, Milhouse, Martin if we put our money together we could buy a copy of Radioactive Man #1 right now!!

Martin and Milhouse - WOWWW!!!!!

Comic Book Guy - Alright here you go Carl Yastrzemski with the big sideburns

Milhouse - I don't want it.

Comic Book Guy - FREAKIN" KIDS!
____________________________________________________________
[/QUOTE]

I think he actually says "Muttonchop Yaz" and not his whole name. :)
 
"Ooooh, cheeseburgers and loneliness are a dangerous mix!"
-The Comic Book Guy
 
*after the Ramones insult Mr. Burns at his b-day*
Burns:"Have the Rolling Stones killed."
Smithers:"But sir those aren't the..."
Burns:"Do what I say!"

*later on*

Burns:"This party is over."
*armed men come and kill all the b-day party guests*
 
These are all from the same episode but its such a great segment ....

Homer: Awww, nobody loves oily Homer

Megatronics guy: You there! The fat, oily, bald man!
Homer: You know everything about me!

Megatronics guy: The trick is to blot the oil. Wiping just pushes it around.
Homer: You're preaching to the choir brother.

Megatronics guy: Life is hard, right? WRONG! Life is easy .. you suck!

Megatronics guy: My car is so limited that they only made two. They gave one to me and one to Steven Speilberg and killed the guy that made it.
Lenny: Ahh I'd hate to be in that union

Megatronics guy: Ohhh I'll stop sucking .. later! Come here, give me your hand. It's ok. *lifts Moleman over his head and throws him out the window*
 
*Homer mistakenly hears Financial Panther instead of Financial Planner* *Fantasy*
Waiter: "Sir, you are one cent over-withdrawn."
Homer: "Get em Shiva! *Panther pounces on waiter*"
 
You could close down Moe's
or the Quik-E-Mart
and nobody would care

But the heart and soul
of Springfield's in
our Maison derriere!

We're the sauce on your steak
We're the cheese in your cake
Yes we put the "spring" in Springfield!

We're the lace on the nightgown
The point after touchdown
Yes we put the "spring" in Springfield!

screw it I can't remember the rest exactly...anyone?
 
Well, if we're doing songs now...

Well Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile...

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.
 
I hope this one isn't a repeat, apologies if it is...


Homer: My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a package for me.
Postal Worker: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't know.
 
Yeah thats a repost but at 320 posts, I think we can ease up on it.

*Chief wiggum cant uncrack nut, shoots with gun*
"Let that be a lesson to all of you, nuts..."
 
Chief: Sounds like a motorcyle gang. Time to hide.
(Puts a "Pizza" sign over the sirens.)
Lou: But Chief, what if they like pizza?
Chief: Way ahead of you, Lou...
(as he puts a Domino's Pizza sticker on the door).
 
From the same episode:

You dont win friends with salad.

C'mon Billy, lets take a look at the killing floor. Well, it's not really floor as it is a steel grating that allows fluids and materials to slew through.
 
"Do a backflip Laddie. Yay *clapping*"

"*card presented* Time for a walk. Psh, I gotta figure out where he's hiding these things."
 
I hate every Ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee, no you'll never make a monkey out of me. Oh my gosh, I was wrong, it was Earth, all along, well you really made a monkey (yes we really made a monkey), yes you really....made...a monkey.......out of me.........I LOVE YOU DR. ZAIUS!
 
[quote name='The Crotch']The above quotes on this page have been done already (though I'm not sure if the entire Apes song was done).

"Did you know so-called 'volunteers' don't even get paid?"[/quote]I'm not sifting through 18 pages of quotes just to see if someone used mine.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top