The "RAW sucks" and "Angelina Love is an illegal immigrant" wrestling thread.

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He's currently in Moore County jail with bail set at $125,000. Hardy was charged with felony trafficking in opium, two counts of felony possession with intent to sell or deliver a Schedule III controlled substance, felony maintaining a dwelling to keep controlled substance, felony possession of cocaine and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia.
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hardy_story.jpeg


EDIT: Apparently his Twitter says that he's at home.
 
I'm praying for Punk to capitalize on this. Could the WWE offer to pay Hardy to use his mugshot and run him into the ground through Punk? The reason I mention money is that it seems like Hardy could sue for libel/slander (whichever one it is) if they just threw up his picture and had Punk talk about how terrible/weak Jeff is.

fuck I hope I get to watch Smackdown next friday.
 
Felony trafficking is no joke. Does North Carolina have mandatory minimum sentencing?

A quick Google search says Schedule II (opium) possession with intent is 4-8 months for first time offenders. Schedule III is 3-8 months per count - not sure how they figure actual trafficking.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']
hardy_story.jpeg


EDIT: Apparently his Twitter says that he's at home.[/QUOTE]

He has the same crooked jaw as that one classic internet meme paint huffing dude mugshot.

He left WWE like 10 days ago. I'm not going to point the finger at Jeff Hardy alone here, and say there's some WWE Wellness shit he skipped past, no doubt.
 
I'm done with Jeff Hardy.

He took an opportunity that he probably didn't derserve (running with the title) and totally shit on it with this situation. I hope Matt finally gets the main event scene now. I'm not a Matt fan, but the fact his brother is a fucking fool pisses me off and Matt seems to genuinely want to succeed. I know addictions are hard to break, I've seen my uncle try to break his, but I hope Jeff is done in WWE for good. There are people who have done less that don't get the chances Jeff got in WWE.

CM Punk, whether knowingly or not, has been so spot on with his promos it isn't even funny.
 
Undertaker is wearing some Ministry of Darkness gear (I think).

Punk is referring to himself as "The choice of a new generation". Yay, retro Pepsi slogan (and caffeine).

[quote name='Matt Young']At least it happened now so he doesn't get a third strike... right?[/QUOTE]

Who gives a crap? Jeff Hardy is a complete and utter waste. Nothing more need be said.

I wish I could see the faces of the Jeff Hardy ubermarks when they find out about this.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I'm done with Jeff Hardy.

He took an opportunity that he probably didn't derserve (running with the title) and totally shit on it with this situation. I hope Matt finally gets the main event scene now. I'm not a Matt fan, but the fact his brother is a fucking fool pisses me off and Matt seems to genuinely want to succeed. I know addictions are hard to break, I've seen my uncle try to break his, but I hope Jeff is done in WWE for good. There are people who have done less that don't get the chances Jeff got in WWE.

CM Punk, whether knowingly or not, has been so spot on with his promos it isn't even funny.[/QUOTE]

As much as I hate to say it, I agree.
 
[quote name='diddy310']Taker's jacket predated even that I think. 96-98 I think that thing is from.[/QUOTE]
Correct, although that one from tonight is not the exact same one he had back then. Same style, though.

While I too would enjoy seeing the reaction of Hardy fans to this news, it probably wouldn't be surprising. We all know what happens when fans who are a little too attached to a certain wrestler are faced with disagreeable news.

I was going to link to the old "Justice For Benoit" website at the end there, but it's gone. How unfortunate.
 
watch Jeff Hardy go back to TNA.. I have a feeling about it, just like the whole Kurt Angle deal, Vince had no clue that was gonna happen.


edit, just read he was arrested on felony charges, scratch that!
 
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[quote name='Chuplayer']Undertaker hasn't looked that sinister in years. Awesome![/QUOTE]

I dunno, looked to me like the undead zombie-cyborg Lord of Darkness had a bad spray-on tan.
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']I dunno, looked to me like the undead zombie-cyborg Lord of Darkness had a bad spray-on tan.[/QUOTE]
I think they accentuated his age to make him look more dead. Much more effective than just plain old guy Undertaker in spandex.
 
:lol: If there's one dude in the WWE who shouldn't be tanning anything, it's undertaker.

I can just hear JR braying about how the deadman just left a brief respite in Tijuana in order to be in Canada to confront Punk.
 
Finlay-Knox was some good, stiff stuff with the best shillelagh finish in forever and I was happy to see that the Jerishow-Cryme Tyme deal isn't entirely over as they have fantastic chemistry and they always come up with awesome ways to have Show's finish seem fresh. This week's skin the cat>KTFO Punch ruled thanks to JTG bouncing off the ropes and just plummeting to the mat.

Morrison-Haas was a fine little showcase for Morrison, and J.R. implying that the most important moniker for Morrison isn't "the guru of greatness" or that stuff but instead was "Intercontinental Champion" was a quick and easy way to make the title seem important. And then Morrison did that "Mr. Ziggles" deal which made him seem like a dork. Face Morrison sucks way too much on the mic.

McIntyre destroying R-Truth again was good, and I like the slow build they're doing for this match - they're making McIntyre seem like a big deal by holding off on his TV re-debut and aren't even (well yet) throwing him on Superstars for seasoning. That tells me that they've got some big plans for the guy in the future.

Punk vs. Matt was about what I expected - a good match overall that was a better showcase for Punk. I liked that doing the submission match stip here and showing that guys do know more submissions than they'll regularly use by having Matt try for the win with a half-crab and figure 4. The latter spot was aided greatly by J.R. noting that HBK had won with the move just four days prior. I was glad that they put the Vise over like they did in the match, but a video package showing a bunch of guys tapping would have really helped. They should have done that last week, then showed him breaking it out for the first time in years on this show.

Quotes -
Punk - I see you for what you really are - and while Jeff was the charismatic enabler, you are something so much worse because you have preyed on these peoples’ chemically-influenced minds for almost 20 years! You’re like this generation’s Alice in Wonderland - these people actually believe in the Undertaker! They believe you can withstand any being, that you have magical powers that allow you to vanquish any foes, they believe, get this, that you actually have a chance at taking my world championship this Sunday! They believe this because your impressive list of victims, the Hogans, Flairs, Shawn Michaels of the industry - everyone thinks that Punk will be easily added to your collection of souls, but I AM STRONGER THAN ALL OF THOSE MEN! I don’t want your soul- I just want one thing from you - to make you tap out. Can you imagine their reaction when you do tap out? They just lost their beloved Jeff Hardy, and now they’re going to watch their heroic icon submit to the anaconda vise! They’re gonna retreat back to their world, grab 40 ounces of liquid courage, pop three or four extra pain pills, just to numb yourself from the reality that your hero TAPPED OUT. You’re gonna get a glimpse of it tonight when I make Matt Hardy tap out to the anaconda vise! I want you, along with these sad, pathetic people, to see how the world will be after Breaking Point. It’ll be a great world, with the choice of a new generation - the only straight edge world heavyweight champion in history! ME! They’ll finally all be forced to join me and just say no!
Taker - They won’t be saying just say no , but they will say rest…in…peace!
J.R. - It wasn’t all that long ago that JTG upset Jericho right here on Friday Night SmackDown!
Grisham - But remember, Chris said that he had a sore throat that night.
J.R. - Bless his heart - I hope he’s feeling better.
Grisham - JTG WITH THE SKILLZ THAT PAY THE BILLZ!
Grisham - John Morrison, the guru of greatness, the Friday Night Delight…
J.R. - Easy, cliché boy…
Grisham - There’s a new moniker, have you heard this one?
J.R. - No.
Grisham - The ambassador of abdominals!
J.R. - Wow. I’ve never been called that. How about just the Intercontinental Champion?
Grisham - That’ll do.
R-Truth - I’M GONNA BE ALL OVER DREW MCINTYRE LIKE A MONKEY ON A CUPCAKE! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH…(is attacked by Drew)
McIntyre - I TOLD YOU! EVERY…SINGLE…WEEK!
Grisham - MATT HARDY WITH THE FIGURE 4!
J.R. - We saw Shawn Michaels use this move very effectively on Monday Night Raw!
J.R. - THE ANACONDA VISE BEATS MATT HARDY!

Even if Jeff's convicted on felony charges, that only means he'll be punished with a six-month TNA Title run.
 
I had a dream that I was playing Left 4 Dead with Scott Hall and two other people.

Hall had never played the game before but our team did pretty well. I actually got separated from the other 3 yet still managed to survive and rejoin the group before the end of the level.

The funniest thing about the whole dream is that I know where it came from. Last night I spent a long time reading various wikipedia articles about WCW and the nWo. Left 4 Dead just showed up because I constantly have zombie related nightmares/dreams.
 
Apparently there's going to be a Long Beach Comic Con first weekend of October. Stan Lee, Jim Lee, and a bunch of others are going to be there - along with Al Snow, Honky Tonk Man, Tito Santana, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Paul London. London's working an M1W (Mach 1 Wrestling) show that weekend at the convention.
 
Undertaker needs to just retire already. And what the fuck was up with Josh Matthews curled up in a ball like a little bitch during the R-Truth/Drew McIntyre segment?
 
[quote name='lmz00']Undertaker needs to just retire already. And what the fuck was up with Josh Matthews curled up in a ball like a little bitch during the R-Truth/Drew McIntyre segment?[/QUOTE]
Hearing Matthews speak makes me want to curl up in a little ball.
 
[quote name='lmz00']Undertaker needs to just retire already. And what the fuck was up with Josh Matthews curled up in a ball like a little bitch during the R-Truth/Drew McIntyre segment?[/QUOTE]

R-Truth got knocked into him when McIntyre came up from behind. If he gets up and makes himself look better than one of the guys who performs in the ring, odds are he'd be future endeavored by now.
 
Announcer / Interviewers are frail, delicate men... Except when you're Jerry "The King" Lawler, honing the powers of Legend Strength, fighting a wrestler who is about to be future endeavored.
 
To set the record straight, Vince McMahon doesn't care; furthermore, he loves all the retards in this topic that have no clue about presciption pain-killers, especially neoshitforbrainsco. I've had several family members go through various cancer-related treatments, sports-related injuries and so forth, and one has had over 150 vicodin pills in her possession, doesn't mean she was planning to do them all at once. The steroids are a bit more surprising, but then again, they do act as an anti-inflammatory, and I'm no expert in the area. Jeff, has probably screwed up again, but no where near as badly as this is getting blown out to be. God forbid anyone take ANY medicine whatsoever and have wrestled at any point post Benoit. But, go ahead, keep drooling all over CM Punk's cock if it makes you feel good. You're the exact type of fans he spits in the face of, and shits all over when they go up to him for autographs. fuckin' marks.
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']Oh what a difference 6 months make.[/QUOTE]
Hmm?
 
[quote name='Brak']Hmm?[/QUOTE]

A few months back everyone in the thread (myself included) was calling for his head until he became the heel announcer and improved dramatically.

I was pointing out that in around that time period everyone did a complete 180* when it came to the guy.
 
Ahhh.

I actually never sullied the guy's name, though. :cool: / ;)

I kinda wish he'd return to television as a manager, or something.
 
[quote name='Vince McMahon']To set the record straight, Vince McMahon doesn't care; furthermore, he loves all the retards in this topic that have no clue about presciption pain-killers, especially neoshitforbrainsco. I've had several family members go through various cancer-related treatments, sports-related injuries and so forth, and one has had over 150 vicodin pills in her possession, doesn't mean she was planning to do them all at once. The steroids are a bit more surprising, but then again, they do act as an anti-inflammatory, and I'm no expert in the area. Jeff, has probably screwed up again, but no where near as badly as this is getting blown out to be. God forbid anyone take ANY medicine whatsoever and have wrestled at any point post Benoit. But, go ahead, keep drooling all over CM Punk's cock if it makes you feel good. You're the exact type of fans he spits in the face of, and shits all over when they go up to him for autographs. fuckin' marks.[/QUOTE]
Oh, and you're a fucking idiot.

I enjoy how you simplified Jeff Hardy's charges down to merely possessing / consuming Vicodin, and pillowed it with some cute, little anecdotes.

learn2argue
 
Well, since we're at about 490 right now, it's safe to say that post from Vince McMahon was the worst thing in this thread. A guy with that name using "fuckin' marks" is especially rich.
 
[quote name='Vince McMahon']To set the record straight, Vince McMahon doesn't care; furthermore, he loves all the retards in this topic that have no clue about presciption pain-killers, especially neoshitforbrainsco. I've had several family members go through various cancer-related treatments, sports-related injuries and so forth, and one has had over 150 vicodin pills in her possession, doesn't mean she was planning to do them all at once. The steroids are a bit more surprising, but then again, they do act as an anti-inflammatory, and I'm no expert in the area. Jeff, has probably screwed up again, but no where near as badly as this is getting blown out to be. God forbid anyone take ANY medicine whatsoever and have wrestled at any point post Benoit. But, go ahead, keep drooling all over CM Punk's cock if it makes you feel good. You're the exact type of fans he spits in the face of, and shits all over when they go up to him for autographs. fuckin' marks.[/QUOTE]

Your thought process is Rob Terry bad. Thanks for putting me over though.:cool:
 
^^ The first 2 times I read that statement, I replaced "Posts on CAG" with "Posts on Twitter." I don't know how the fuck that happened, but for a second I had vivid mental imagery going.

This post brought to you by the committee to get this topic over 500 in time for the PPV so we can kill it already.
 
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