Weirdly enough, this shitty USB controller worked perfectly. The buttons automatically mapped correctly.
EDIT: The freezer trick worked. MY CONTROLLER LIVES! And now I know I have a shitty backup controller if it ever fails again.
Ok, posting impressions finally.
Akiyama's part was beyond amazing. By far the best piece of the series. Great main story, great characters, great sidequests, fun fighting style. I thought to myself, "If this is just the beginning, how

ing amazing is the rest of the game going to be?" Unfortunately it was the best part of the game. I don't think the rest of the game was any worse than any of the other Yakuza games, but it sure was a tough sell after the stellar first quarter. There were some retarded plot points but it comes with the Yakuza territory. Though, I do think the story was a bit weaker than previous games, which was made up for with the 4 main characters.
The difficulty was all over the

ing place. Akiyama was piss easy to play as, and Saejima was absolutely awful to play as in the beginning. 2 of the most difficult boss fights in the game when you're not used to Saejima's style and he hasn't had a chance to level up. Just awful. Once you build Saejima up though he is pretty easy to play as, thankfully. However, I found his sidequests very lacking. Tanimura was a fun character, loved his heat actions, but his story wasn't as endearing to me as Akiyama's and the sidequests weren't as good, though they were better than Saejima's. Kiryu's part was pretty short but I didn't mind so much after playing him the past 3 games. Plus, you're near the climax of the story and just want to get it over with. The fact that his only 2 revelations were both repeats from previous characters was bullshit, though.
The number one lulzy thing in the game besides the pantsu Revelation were the ridiculous gestures a lot of the NPCs made. The guys circling their wrists in the air while pointing, holding a peace sign to their forehead, doing more ridiculous pointing... Absolutely hilarious. I don't recall them doing that in 3 but I could be wrong. Either way, it was hilarious.