The WWE Is Entertainment Not Wrestling Thread
- Thread starter Demolition Man
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Purple Flames
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In this age of false retirements, I don't know if this is a work or not.
I can't imagine this not being legitimate. If it is, it's absolutely despicable to fake it and make light of a very serious injury. That said, it wouldn't surprise me.
Kudos to Edge for walking away on his own without being carried out, or worse, dragged out.
Kudos to Edge for walking away on his own without being carried out, or worse, dragged out.
mykevermin
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Edge seems insincere. Makes me yearn for Scott Steiner's retirement swerve on Nitro. That shit caught me totally offguard. What a great series of segments.
DEMOLITION!
Maybe he will retire. Whatever. Good for him to stop while he's still healthy. Still don't see what people see in him as a wrestler.
DEMOLITION!
Maybe he will retire. Whatever. Good for him to stop while he's still healthy. Still don't see what people see in him as a wrestler.
Survivalism
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This does not reek of awesomeness!
silentevil
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[quote name='Blackout']The thing with Sin Cara is that like myke said, he's sloppy. His match had absolutely no flow to it. It was boring. Also who screwed up that ending? Primo?
It's sad to see Bryan related to jobber status so quickly.[/QUOTE]
Primo's foot slipped off the rope. Sin Cara isn't a WWE type wrestler. Not many guys on the roster can have the kind of matches he needs.
I hope Edge retiring is a work.
It's sad to see Bryan related to jobber status so quickly.[/QUOTE]
Primo's foot slipped off the rope. Sin Cara isn't a WWE type wrestler. Not many guys on the roster can have the kind of matches he needs.
I hope Edge retiring is a work.
Purple Flames
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The fact that Del Rio didn't jump him on his way up the ramp gives this an air of legitimacy. If so, then props to Edge for knowing when to fold 'em and retire while he can still function.
Ok too many people broke kayfabe just then for this to be a work.
Ok too many people broke kayfabe just then for this to be a work.
guyver2077
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wtf just happen!
B
Blackout
Guest
If they knew he was messed up, why didn't he drop the title to Del Rio?
Survivalism
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[quote name='Blackout']If they knew he was messed up, why didn't he drop the title to Del Rio?[/QUOTE]
So his supposed last match was a successful title defense at Wrestlemania?
So his supposed last match was a successful title defense at Wrestlemania?
Survivalism
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[quote name='Blackout']If they knew he was messed up, why didn't he drop the title to Del Rio?[/QUOTE]
If they "knew" he was retiring they probably wouldn't have made him the main event of Extreme Rules.
If they "knew" he was retiring they probably wouldn't have made him the main event of Extreme Rules.
By Mike Johnson on 2011-04-11 22:18:53
For those who are wondering, the Edge retirement speech was 100% legitimate and real. We were told by a company source earlier this evening that when the major announcement was made tonight, it was not an angle and not storyline.
The story that Edge told about medical tests coming back and showing there was a new issue with his neck and being advised he must retire are true. He was basically handed a mic and told to go out and say goodbye however he wanted.
For those who are wondering, the Edge retirement speech was 100% legitimate and real. We were told by a company source earlier this evening that when the major announcement was made tonight, it was not an angle and not storyline.
The story that Edge told about medical tests coming back and showing there was a new issue with his neck and being advised he must retire are true. He was basically handed a mic and told to go out and say goodbye however he wanted.
Purple Flames
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Blackout
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[quote name='Survivalism']If they "knew" he was retiring they probably wouldn't have made him the main event of Extreme Rules.[/QUOTE]
True. I completely forgot he even had a match already set for the PPV.
True. I completely forgot he even had a match already set for the PPV.
[quote name='Mr. Beef']By Mike Johnson on 2011-04-11 22:18:53
For those who are wondering, the Edge retirement speech was 100% legitimate and real. We were told by a company source earlier this evening that when the major announcement was made tonight, it was not an angle and not storyline.
The story that Edge told about medical tests coming back and showing there was a new issue with his neck and being advised he must retire are true. He was basically handed a mic and told to go out and say goodbye however he wanted. [/QUOTE]
I was fairly certain it wasn't a work before he walked into the back to receive the locker room ovation. He was looking down and getting choked up too much for it to be just an angle. I don't doubt guys as experienced as him can sell it but he was too legitimately emotional during the whole thing.
For those who are wondering, the Edge retirement speech was 100% legitimate and real. We were told by a company source earlier this evening that when the major announcement was made tonight, it was not an angle and not storyline.
The story that Edge told about medical tests coming back and showing there was a new issue with his neck and being advised he must retire are true. He was basically handed a mic and told to go out and say goodbye however he wanted. [/QUOTE]
I was fairly certain it wasn't a work before he walked into the back to receive the locker room ovation. He was looking down and getting choked up too much for it to be just an angle. I don't doubt guys as experienced as him can sell it but he was too legitimately emotional during the whole thing.
guyver2077
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Well cant say ill miss him as I was never a Edge fan.. mostly I guess because of the whole hardy thing..
Good for him for getting out on top though..
Good for him for getting out on top though..
Survivalism
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[quote name='Blackout']True. I completely forgot he even had a match already set for the PPV.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, what a terrible day for wrestling.
Yeah, what a terrible day for wrestling.
I thought Primo did a good job in that match with Mi Casa (that other name they use is weird to me) although it looked like he wasn't ready to take that turnbuckle move. Still was nice all the same.
Apple? Really? Santino is so annoying. Why Daniel Bryan and Evan Bourne have to suffer through this I will never understand. Thank goodness Corre won though.
Looks like I'm the only one who liked seeing Brie Bella win the title. And as usual, Gail Kim was looking hot.
Tag match at the PPV is lame,but I'd like to see Swagger as a face.
And what did Newtista do? I saw him for a split second and it went to commercial.
Apple? Really? Santino is so annoying. Why Daniel Bryan and Evan Bourne have to suffer through this I will never understand. Thank goodness Corre won though.
Looks like I'm the only one who liked seeing Brie Bella win the title. And as usual, Gail Kim was looking hot.
Tag match at the PPV is lame,but I'd like to see Swagger as a face.
And what did Newtista do? I saw him for a split second and it went to commercial.
ShinSolidus
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[quote name='Survivalism']Yeah, what a terrible day for wrestling.[/QUOTE]
This.
This.
Survivalism
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So how long is JR staying around? Because please keep it that way. 
Edit: Please be a rap battle, please be a rap battle...
Edit: Please be a rap battle, please be a rap battle...
mykevermin
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Wait, the last two are R-Truth and John Cena?
1) Oh, for
's sake.
2) Perhaps Punk will this up somehow?
1) Oh, for
's sake.2) Perhaps Punk will
this up somehow?
Purple Flames
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Cena gets to take his new merch powers for a test run.
guyver2077
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cmon R truth!
[quote name='mykevermin']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOjbtGubG5I
No name yet. Jemima Hightower is still on the table, if neocisco's tongue-in-cheek prediction holds firm.[/QUOTE]
Tongue-in-cheek? Uh, yeah, that's it...
Decent teaser promo although the voiceover was too high-pitched for a killer like Kong.
While I enjoyed Edge as a tag team wrestler I never really liked him in singles, particularly since he got over by doing his buddy's girlfriend. The good part about the sudden retirement and it not being planned is that hopefully the extenuating circumstances will force some creativity out of WWE.
Time to entertainments!
No name yet. Jemima Hightower is still on the table, if neocisco's tongue-in-cheek prediction holds firm.[/QUOTE]
Tongue-in-cheek? Uh, yeah, that's it...
Decent teaser promo although the voiceover was too high-pitched for a killer like Kong.
While I enjoyed Edge as a tag team wrestler I never really liked him in singles, particularly since he got over by doing his buddy's girlfriend. The good part about the sudden retirement and it not being planned is that hopefully the extenuating circumstances will force some creativity out of WWE.
Time to entertainments!
guyver2077
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hell yea R Truth gets the outro...
Ansé Solis
Banned
I think a lot of you guys are underrating Edge. He put on some pretty damn good matches. His match against Ziggler at the Rumble was FANTASTIC.
Ibramgaunt249
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I guess a triple threat is better then Cena winning this week and having to listen to all the QQ about him being fresh, or having a rematch next week and him winning anyway.
Habbler
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Edge won me over facing Mick Foley at Wrestlemania and One Night Stand and was always entertaining in any type of ladder or hardcore/crazy rules match. Singles competition in a straight match I wish I could say the same thing. The Spear was weak before he tore his Achilles tendon. Give that man 2 chairs though and watch some magic happen.
ShinSolidus
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[quote name='Ansé Solis']I think a lot of you guys are underrating Edge. He put on some pretty damn good matches. His match against Ziggler at the Rumble was FANTASTIC.[/QUOTE]
I am in agreement with you on that one. It was quite possibly the best match on the card. Just about the entire time, I was on edge (pun not intended) feeling and hoping Ziggler would win.
I am in agreement with you on that one. It was quite possibly the best match on the card. Just about the entire time, I was on edge (pun not intended) feeling and hoping Ziggler would win.
lombarvm
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JaytheGamefan
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The show started like Impact, with a long opening segment that just would not ing end and it built up a confusing match stip. Then they explained the stip and it just became a segment that took too long. Sin Cara's Raw debut was a perfectly fine match most of the time, if a bit long in the tooth, and would've gone better if Primo hadn't screwed up the finish. The Flux Capicator looked great, but I don't see it working as a long-term finish. Hopefully they either give him something new or just use La Mistica. Cole pissing Swagger off was great, but the segment leading to it took forever. Loved J.R. shaking the Cole mine though.
Edge's retirement speech seemed like an angle at first, but regardless if it winds up being one or not, it was a fantastic segment tonight that made you care about Edge.
Part 2 on SD, with Christian, will either determine if it's an angle or not, but tonight, they built up whatever the future is with Edge very well. Divas title match was nothing, but I liked them finally doing SOMETHING visual to tell the Bellas apart in the ring...and the Kong video was fantastic. She's coming to kill the Barbies. Kong's gonna kill Kelly. The gauntlet matches were nothing special, but Dolph was at least given some kind of a chance to shine, which hasn't been the case yet on Raw. Orton being beaten up by the new Nexus and Batistwo Bombed was a fine way to try and give Truth a big win in some way while also building up Orton-Punk's rematch. Morrison and Truth's match was boring. Cena-Truth was pretty good. Better than the WM main event, actually, since this had some drama and Cena busted out something new in the Emerald Frosion. Miz was terrible on commentary, but I'll cut him some slack since he was clearly getting yet at by Vince and is only a week removed from a serious concussion. Truth getting the shot along with Cena at the PPV is a good move. Probably would've been Morrison's spot, but since he's a dumb, it isn't. Probably a better move overall - Truth feels fresher on top than Morrison would've. The show as a whole was very newsworthy, but segment-by-segment, was very hit or miss. I'm hoping the Corre thing is leading to them breaking up because really, only Gabriel and Slater are clicking. Barrett has lost a ton of steam since the move to SD, while Zeke hasn't really gained much since they've done nothing to build him up except for a couple of spots that basically meant nothing because of the lack of follow-up.
Screens -
Not PG...
Quotes -
ing end and it built up a confusing match stip. Then they explained the stip and it just became a segment that took too long. Sin Cara's Raw debut was a perfectly fine match most of the time, if a bit long in the tooth, and would've gone better if Primo hadn't screwed up the finish. The Flux Capicator looked great, but I don't see it working as a long-term finish. Hopefully they either give him something new or just use La Mistica. Cole pissing Swagger off was great, but the segment leading to it took forever. Loved J.R. shaking the Cole mine though. Edge's retirement speech seemed like an angle at first, but regardless if it winds up being one or not, it was a fantastic segment tonight that made you care about Edge.
Part 2 on SD, with Christian, will either determine if it's an angle or not, but tonight, they built up whatever the future is with Edge very well. Divas title match was nothing, but I liked them finally doing SOMETHING visual to tell the Bellas apart in the ring...and the Kong video was fantastic. She's coming to kill the Barbies. Kong's gonna kill Kelly. The gauntlet matches were nothing special, but Dolph was at least given some kind of a chance to shine, which hasn't been the case yet on Raw. Orton being beaten up by the new Nexus and Batistwo Bombed was a fine way to try and give Truth a big win in some way while also building up Orton-Punk's rematch. Morrison and Truth's match was boring. Cena-Truth was pretty good. Better than the WM main event, actually, since this had some drama and Cena busted out something new in the Emerald Frosion. Miz was terrible on commentary, but I'll cut him some slack since he was clearly getting yet at by Vince and is only a week removed from a serious concussion. Truth getting the shot along with Cena at the PPV is a good move. Probably would've been Morrison's spot, but since he's a dumb
, it isn't. Probably a better move overall - Truth feels fresher on top than Morrison would've. The show as a whole was very newsworthy, but segment-by-segment, was very hit or miss. I'm hoping the Corre thing is leading to them breaking up because really, only Gabriel and Slater are clicking. Barrett has lost a ton of steam since the move to SD, while Zeke hasn't really gained much since they've done nothing to build him up except for a couple of spots that basically meant nothing because of the lack of follow-up. Screens -
Not PG...
Quotes -
Roberts - PLEASE WELCOME THE AWARD WINNING BROADCAST JOURNALIST AND THE ONLY UNDEFEATED SUPERSTAR IN WWE - MICHAEL COLE.
Josh - Well, technically it is correct. Although he’s only had one match.
Cole - ONE AND O BABY. WHAT’S UP JERRY!?
Cena - Look around. I know you people at home can hear this - WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE! (People boo) It’s chaos. It’s excitement. It’s energy because last week an announcement was made that turned WWE upside-down. For the first time in history, an announcement so big it takes one year for the WWE Universe to digest. A MATCH WAS MADE FOR WM 28! A match that puts icon against icon and clashes generation against generation and will be the biggest spectacle in sports entertainment! JOHN CENA GOES ONE ON ONE WITH THE ROCK! It can’t just be two guys fighting for bragging rights - Cena-Rock will be for the WWE Championship! For that to happen, the guy that actually fights every week has to win the title. (Orton comes out)
Orton - John. With all due respect. I think any business that you had at WM, it’s already been settled. You can blame the Rock if you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you lost! Now I think you should step aside and give someone else the chance - someone who WON their match at WM.
Cena - The way you’re talking…(Morrison comes out)
Morrison - Cena and Orton, pardon the interruption, but I can see where this is headed - I’ve seen this show before. We all have, and it’s a good show, but it’s not as good as it’s gonna be now that John Morrison’s involved. This needs to involve JOHN MORRISON.
Vickie - EXCUSE ME! Morrison somebody new should have a championship opportunity, but you? Didn’t I pin you a couple weeks ago? HAHAHA! THE PERSON WHO SHOULD BE NEXT IN LINE IS ME! All right, okay, if it’s not me, then it should be Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph - I DIDN’T COME TO RAW TO WASTE MY TIME ON SNOOKI. I’M THE MOST TALENTED SUPERSTAR IN THE RING RIGHT NOW. MORE IMPORTANTLY, I HAVE NEVER FACED THE MIX FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP, SO UNTIL THEN, THE LINE STARTS HERE! Don’t worry - keep your heads up - once I’m champ, you’ll all get your chance… (Truth comes out)
Cole - THIS GUY!?
King - You got a problem with R-Truth?
Cole - I got tons of problems with R-Truth.
Truth - BRIDGEPORT, CT - WHAT’S UP!? The gospel truth. Truth is, I have never NEVA gotten a one-on-one WWE Championship match on any show.
Dolph - There’s a reason for that.
Truth - THAT’S THE TRUTH. AND THAT’S WHAT’S UP! (GM dings)
Cole - I HAVE RECEIVED AN E-MAIL! ON MY IPAD! AND I QUOTE - You all make compelling arguments, so to end all arguments, I’ll give all you a chance to earn it. I have come up with a new concept in the form of a five man gauntlet match. Two superstars chosen at random will start, the winner will face the next random superstar. This continues until all 5 have been in the match, and the man who goes the distance will face the Miz at Extreme Rules.
Josh - Eve and Brie have had quite a battle on Twitter, but the war on social networking is over - it’s time for the divas title match.
Cole - I don’t get what anyone sees in Eve. Seriously.
King - Did I ever tell you about Cole’s mother and father? The father wanted a boy, the mother wanted a girl and they were both satisfied.
Cole - Wanna start talking about mothers and fathers now?
King - Watch your mouth.
Crowd - SIN CARA! SIN CARA!
Cole - Sin Cara’s had a lot of hype, but now it’s time for him to live up to it.
Barrett - Last week, Cena and the Rock made WWE history when they agreed to a match at WM 28. We as the Corre decided that we would attack them to no avail. And I might add that it was through no fault of my own. I used to see us as equals, but if you’re not capable of holding up your end of the bargin, I don’t see any need for this to continue any further.
Gabriel - It was my 450 that has taken out more guys than anyone else. I’m a 3-time tag team champion.
Slater - WE are a three-time tag team champion. No one’s taking that from us - not you, you, or Nexus, or the Corre.
Zeke - I MADE US CREDIBLE BY SLAMMING A 500 POUND GIANT! (Santino interrupts)
Santino - HELLO GENTLEMENS! If you’re the Corre, then we are THE APPLE! TEAM APPLE, in the name of Kozlov, CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT. And unlike an apple, this fight will not keep the doctor. APPLE POWERS UNITE! 1-2-3- APPLE!
Cole - This’ll be THE PITS!
Cole - Can you believe THE WWE UNIVERSE WAS CHANTING APPLE!? THAT IS JUST STUPID!
King - We’re witnessing APPLE-Corre!
Cole - It’s a rotten core!
Cole - If Daniel Bryan were an apple, I wonder if he’d be a sour apple or a granny apple? I don’t think there’s a nerd apple.
Cole - This match is THE PITS!
King - That’s cherries.
Cole - Don’t apples turn brown after being exposed to the air for a while?
Cole - HERE HE IS - GOOD OLD J.R. HE’S A CROSS BETWEEN BARNEY THE DINOSAUR AND PORKY PIG. YOU WADDLE LIKE DONALD DUCK. BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP. TOO BAD YOU CAN’T BEND DOWN TO PICK ANYTHING UP! HOW’S THE BBQ SAUCE DOING!/ DID YOU NEED EMERGECY FIRST AID!? What are you doing!?
Josh - JAKE SWAGGER!
J.R. - King, you know he’s gonna go for the ankle.
Cole - LEAVE HIM ALONE.
J.R. - SHUT UP!
Cole - SAY UNCLE, KING, OR MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!
Cole - J.R. YOU LOOK LIKE AN OKLAHOMA CHEERLEADER! PUT ON A DRESS AND GET SOME POM POMS! RAH RAH KING!
Cole - BUSINESS IS PICKING UP!
J.R. - Real original.
Cole - COME ON, JACKY!
J.R. - YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Cole - JACK, ARE YOU AN IDIOT!? I PAID YOU GOOD MONEY! REALLY GOOD MONEY!
King - Let’s talk about Extreme Rules… Now I get to decide the match and the stipulation. First of all. I got a real good idea for the match. I think we should make this a tag team match! Me and J.R. against you and your former friend Jack Swagger. Jack, that’s the guy that just slapped ya. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM NOW, JACK!?
Josh - It appears that Edge is heading to the ring, what will the 11-time champion say to the WWE Universe!?
J.R. - This man started out as a tag team competitor and is now a hall of fame-level one, and an 11-time champion.
Edge - You may have to bear with me, I may ramble. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt, that it’s all smoke and mirrors. I wish it were true, but anyone who has ever set foot in here knows that isn’t the case. Which brings me to what I’m about to say. 8 years ago, I broke my neck and had fusion surgery and I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. Fast forward and the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I uh…I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So…I passed strength tests and made it to WM but WWE wanted me to get more tests, and the MRIs showed that I have to retire. Trust me, it’s not my choice. The doctors tell me I got no choice. And thankfully they found out so I won’t end up in a wheelchair.
Crowd - Thank you Edge. Thank you Edge!
Edge - So…ya know….I thank you guys. I tell ya, this has been an emotional roller coaster of a week. I’ve felt sorry for myself. Until I talked to Christian. And for those who don’t know - we’ve been best friends for 27 years. And ya see, I was angry at myself and my body because there are a lot of people who depend on me and I felt I was letting them down and letting you all down. I was upset because I’m not ending it on my terms, but he reminded me that I’ve competed my whole career on my terms. Ya know…I’m still like all of you, a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to the Maple Leaf Gardens and watch our favorites - Demoliton, LOD, Hogan, and I went to WM 6 and saw Hogan-Warrior and said I was gonna do it, and then fast forward- and I’m main eventing WM against the Undertaker. If you told me that I’d win more titles than anyone in the history of the company, there’s no way I would’ve believed you. And if you told me that my last match would be in one of the main events and I’d retire as the world champion, I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. Ya know, I started in the WWE when I was 23 - I’ve been doing this 19 years and 14 in WWE. My first match was when I was 23 and I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I/ve made a lot of mistakes and learned form them and become a man in front of you. I went from a guy running around in a trench coat to a pseudo-vampire in the Brood to a goofy guy with Christian. I was despised and thrown in the Long Island Sound. I had a live sex celebration with Lita and thankfully not Vockie. And I would hope that through it all, I’ve earned the respect of the locker room and I hope that I’ve earned your respect. No matter what, I came out here and tried to give you guys all that I had every night and in turn, you gave it back to me. So… I’m gonna miss all of this. The reaction is like a shot of adrenaline, but that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow and I’m gonna go eat a bunch of ice cream. If you ask me if I would do it all again, going back from being hired by J.R., all the sleeplness nights, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it - would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Thank you very much.
J.R. - Edge will be missed.
Miz - I wonder what Dolph can do without his sidekick, Vickie Guerrero.
Josh - Funny you’d mention sidekicks given Alex…
Miz - HE’S NOT A SIDEKICK, HE’S MY VICE PRESIDENT OF CORPORATE AFFAIRS!
King - Sure.
Miz - I can’t hear you over how awesome I am.
Miz - Now we get R-Truth versus Dolph Ziggler vying for my WWE Title! Which R-Truth will we get? The rapper who sings and slaps hands with kids or the street thug?
Miz - Why didn’t the Rock challenge me? HE WANTS AN ICON AND THERE’S ONLY ONE ICON - THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP. AND I HOLD THAT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Miz - I don’t just think I’m great - God does.
Miz - WHY WOULD YOU HANDSHAKE SOMEONE GOING FOR THE WWE TITLE!?
Miz - I HAD TO CARRY MORRISON FOR TWO YEARS TELLING HIM TO NOT DO THE HIGH-FLYING STUFF. HE WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO MY STATUS, IN THE MAIN EVENT…DOING STUFF LIKE THAT!
Miz - SUPERCENA!
J.R. - There’s nothing more important in WWE than the WWE Title.
King - How’s your head doing?
Miz - I passed…my impact tests, and I’m basically…testing fine.
J.R. - Morrison went all or nothing and got nothing.
Miz - LET’S GO CENA by the five year olds and the girls and CENA SUCKS by everyone with a brain.
(after an Emerald Frosion by Cena)J.R. - POWER MOVE!
Miz - It looks like there’s a double DQ WHICH MEANS BOTH OF YOU ARE LOSERS! WHICH MEANS THE BOTH OF YOU CAN GO TO THE END OF THE LINE BECAUSE THERE IS NO NUMBER 1 CONTENDER…(GM dings)
King - It seems we have an e-mail. Well, the GM says you’re right. There no number 1 contender. It says that’s because THERE ARE NOW TWO! The WWE Title match will be a triple threat match between the Miz, R-Truth, and John Cena!
J.R. - ATTITUDE ADJUSTEMENT ON MIZ’S CORPORATE VP!
Josh - Well, technically it is correct. Although he’s only had one match.
Cole - ONE AND O BABY. WHAT’S UP JERRY!?
Cena - Look around. I know you people at home can hear this - WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE! (People boo) It’s chaos. It’s excitement. It’s energy because last week an announcement was made that turned WWE upside-down. For the first time in history, an announcement so big it takes one year for the WWE Universe to digest. A MATCH WAS MADE FOR WM 28! A match that puts icon against icon and clashes generation against generation and will be the biggest spectacle in sports entertainment! JOHN CENA GOES ONE ON ONE WITH THE ROCK! It can’t just be two guys fighting for bragging rights - Cena-Rock will be for the WWE Championship! For that to happen, the guy that actually fights every week has to win the title. (Orton comes out)
Orton - John. With all due respect. I think any business that you had at WM, it’s already been settled. You can blame the Rock if you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you lost! Now I think you should step aside and give someone else the chance - someone who WON their match at WM.
Cena - The way you’re talking…(Morrison comes out)
Morrison - Cena and Orton, pardon the interruption, but I can see where this is headed - I’ve seen this show before. We all have, and it’s a good show, but it’s not as good as it’s gonna be now that John Morrison’s involved. This needs to involve JOHN MORRISON.
Vickie - EXCUSE ME! Morrison somebody new should have a championship opportunity, but you? Didn’t I pin you a couple weeks ago? HAHAHA! THE PERSON WHO SHOULD BE NEXT IN LINE IS ME! All right, okay, if it’s not me, then it should be Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph - I DIDN’T COME TO RAW TO WASTE MY TIME ON SNOOKI. I’M THE MOST TALENTED SUPERSTAR IN THE RING RIGHT NOW. MORE IMPORTANTLY, I HAVE NEVER FACED THE MIX FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP, SO UNTIL THEN, THE LINE STARTS HERE! Don’t worry - keep your heads up - once I’m champ, you’ll all get your chance… (Truth comes out)
Cole - THIS GUY!?
King - You got a problem with R-Truth?
Cole - I got tons of problems with R-Truth.
Truth - BRIDGEPORT, CT - WHAT’S UP!? The gospel truth. Truth is, I have never NEVA gotten a one-on-one WWE Championship match on any show.
Dolph - There’s a reason for that.
Truth - THAT’S THE TRUTH. AND THAT’S WHAT’S UP! (GM dings)
Cole - I HAVE RECEIVED AN E-MAIL! ON MY IPAD! AND I QUOTE - You all make compelling arguments, so to end all arguments, I’ll give all you a chance to earn it. I have come up with a new concept in the form of a five man gauntlet match. Two superstars chosen at random will start, the winner will face the next random superstar. This continues until all 5 have been in the match, and the man who goes the distance will face the Miz at Extreme Rules.
Josh - Eve and Brie have had quite a battle on Twitter, but the war on social networking is over - it’s time for the divas title match.
Cole - I don’t get what anyone sees in Eve. Seriously.
King - Did I ever tell you about Cole’s mother and father? The father wanted a boy, the mother wanted a girl and they were both satisfied.
Cole - Wanna start talking about mothers and fathers now?
King - Watch your mouth.
Crowd - SIN CARA! SIN CARA!
Cole - Sin Cara’s had a lot of hype, but now it’s time for him to live up to it.
Barrett - Last week, Cena and the Rock made WWE history when they agreed to a match at WM 28. We as the Corre decided that we would attack them to no avail. And I might add that it was through no fault of my own. I used to see us as equals, but if you’re not capable of holding up your end of the bargin, I don’t see any need for this to continue any further.
Gabriel - It was my 450 that has taken out more guys than anyone else. I’m a 3-time tag team champion.
Slater - WE are a three-time tag team champion. No one’s taking that from us - not you, you, or Nexus, or the Corre.
Zeke - I MADE US CREDIBLE BY SLAMMING A 500 POUND GIANT! (Santino interrupts)
Santino - HELLO GENTLEMENS! If you’re the Corre, then we are THE APPLE! TEAM APPLE, in the name of Kozlov, CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT. And unlike an apple, this fight will not keep the doctor. APPLE POWERS UNITE! 1-2-3- APPLE!
Cole - This’ll be THE PITS!
Cole - Can you believe THE WWE UNIVERSE WAS CHANTING APPLE!? THAT IS JUST STUPID!
King - We’re witnessing APPLE-Corre!
Cole - It’s a rotten core!
Cole - If Daniel Bryan were an apple, I wonder if he’d be a sour apple or a granny apple? I don’t think there’s a nerd apple.
Cole - This match is THE PITS!
King - That’s cherries.
Cole - Don’t apples turn brown after being exposed to the air for a while?
Cole - HERE HE IS - GOOD OLD J.R. HE’S A CROSS BETWEEN BARNEY THE DINOSAUR AND PORKY PIG. YOU WADDLE LIKE DONALD DUCK. BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP. TOO BAD YOU CAN’T BEND DOWN TO PICK ANYTHING UP! HOW’S THE BBQ SAUCE DOING!/ DID YOU NEED EMERGECY FIRST AID!? What are you doing!?
Josh - JAKE SWAGGER!
J.R. - King, you know he’s gonna go for the ankle.
Cole - LEAVE HIM ALONE.
J.R. - SHUT UP!
Cole - SAY UNCLE, KING, OR MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!
Cole - J.R. YOU LOOK LIKE AN OKLAHOMA CHEERLEADER! PUT ON A DRESS AND GET SOME POM POMS! RAH RAH KING!
Cole - BUSINESS IS PICKING UP!
J.R. - Real original.
Cole - COME ON, JACKY!
J.R. - YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Cole - JACK, ARE YOU AN IDIOT!? I PAID YOU GOOD MONEY! REALLY GOOD MONEY!
King - Let’s talk about Extreme Rules… Now I get to decide the match and the stipulation. First of all. I got a real good idea for the match. I think we should make this a tag team match! Me and J.R. against you and your former friend Jack Swagger. Jack, that’s the guy that just slapped ya. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HIM NOW, JACK!?
Josh - It appears that Edge is heading to the ring, what will the 11-time champion say to the WWE Universe!?
J.R. - This man started out as a tag team competitor and is now a hall of fame-level one, and an 11-time champion.
Edge - You may have to bear with me, I may ramble. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt, that it’s all smoke and mirrors. I wish it were true, but anyone who has ever set foot in here knows that isn’t the case. Which brings me to what I’m about to say. 8 years ago, I broke my neck and had fusion surgery and I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. Fast forward and the last little while, I’ve been in a lot of pain. I uh…I’ve been losing feeling in my arms. So…I passed strength tests and made it to WM but WWE wanted me to get more tests, and the MRIs showed that I have to retire. Trust me, it’s not my choice. The doctors tell me I got no choice. And thankfully they found out so I won’t end up in a wheelchair.
Crowd - Thank you Edge. Thank you Edge!
Edge - So…ya know….I thank you guys. I tell ya, this has been an emotional roller coaster of a week. I’ve felt sorry for myself. Until I talked to Christian. And for those who don’t know - we’ve been best friends for 27 years. And ya see, I was angry at myself and my body because there are a lot of people who depend on me and I felt I was letting them down and letting you all down. I was upset because I’m not ending it on my terms, but he reminded me that I’ve competed my whole career on my terms. Ya know…I’m still like all of you, a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to the Maple Leaf Gardens and watch our favorites - Demoliton, LOD, Hogan, and I went to WM 6 and saw Hogan-Warrior and said I was gonna do it, and then fast forward- and I’m main eventing WM against the Undertaker. If you told me that I’d win more titles than anyone in the history of the company, there’s no way I would’ve believed you. And if you told me that my last match would be in one of the main events and I’d retire as the world champion, I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. Ya know, I started in the WWE when I was 23 - I’ve been doing this 19 years and 14 in WWE. My first match was when I was 23 and I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I/ve made a lot of mistakes and learned form them and become a man in front of you. I went from a guy running around in a trench coat to a pseudo-vampire in the Brood to a goofy guy with Christian. I was despised and thrown in the Long Island Sound. I had a live sex celebration with Lita and thankfully not Vockie. And I would hope that through it all, I’ve earned the respect of the locker room and I hope that I’ve earned your respect. No matter what, I came out here and tried to give you guys all that I had every night and in turn, you gave it back to me. So… I’m gonna miss all of this. The reaction is like a shot of adrenaline, but that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow and I’m gonna go eat a bunch of ice cream. If you ask me if I would do it all again, going back from being hired by J.R., all the sleeplness nights, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it - would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Thank you very much.
J.R. - Edge will be missed.
Miz - I wonder what Dolph can do without his sidekick, Vickie Guerrero.
Josh - Funny you’d mention sidekicks given Alex…
Miz - HE’S NOT A SIDEKICK, HE’S MY VICE PRESIDENT OF CORPORATE AFFAIRS!
King - Sure.
Miz - I can’t hear you over how awesome I am.
Miz - Now we get R-Truth versus Dolph Ziggler vying for my WWE Title! Which R-Truth will we get? The rapper who sings and slaps hands with kids or the street thug?
Miz - Why didn’t the Rock challenge me? HE WANTS AN ICON AND THERE’S ONLY ONE ICON - THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP. AND I HOLD THAT CHAMPIONSHIP!
Miz - I don’t just think I’m great - God does.
Miz - WHY WOULD YOU HANDSHAKE SOMEONE GOING FOR THE WWE TITLE!?
Miz - I HAD TO CARRY MORRISON FOR TWO YEARS TELLING HIM TO NOT DO THE HIGH-FLYING STUFF. HE WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO MY STATUS, IN THE MAIN EVENT…DOING STUFF LIKE THAT!
Miz - SUPERCENA!
J.R. - There’s nothing more important in WWE than the WWE Title.
King - How’s your head doing?
Miz - I passed…my impact tests, and I’m basically…testing fine.
J.R. - Morrison went all or nothing and got nothing.
Miz - LET’S GO CENA by the five year olds and the girls and CENA SUCKS by everyone with a brain.
(after an Emerald Frosion by Cena)J.R. - POWER MOVE!
Miz - It looks like there’s a double DQ WHICH MEANS BOTH OF YOU ARE LOSERS! WHICH MEANS THE BOTH OF YOU CAN GO TO THE END OF THE LINE BECAUSE THERE IS NO NUMBER 1 CONTENDER…(GM dings)
King - It seems we have an e-mail. Well, the GM says you’re right. There no number 1 contender. It says that’s because THERE ARE NOW TWO! The WWE Title match will be a triple threat match between the Miz, R-Truth, and John Cena!
J.R. - ATTITUDE ADJUSTEMENT ON MIZ’S CORPORATE VP!
Ansé Solis
Banned
Apparently he is suffering from symptoms relating to neurapraxia.
mykevermin
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@ diddy.
[quote name='xilly']Dolph Ziggler (who I can't take seriously cause I can't forget about him being Nicky from the Spirit Squad) also uses that move sometimes, iirc.[/QUOTE]
He's shown himself to be a fantastic entertainment-er the past few months. His series with Daniel Bryan was excellent, even if the whole thing started and finished in under 7 days' time (instead of being strung out over time, using it to get both guys over). He showed it wasn't a fluke by having excellent matches with other entertainment-ers in the months since then. He was an excellent foil to a super heel in Vickie Guerrero, and despite him being hot (just like Del Rio), WWE stuck with one of the most milquetoast options to retain the title.
He has an incredible future and is a solid talent. None of this changes the fact that his ring name is Dolphing Ziggler.
@ diddy.[quote name='xilly']Dolph Ziggler (who I can't take seriously cause I can't forget about him being Nicky from the Spirit Squad) also uses that move sometimes, iirc.[/QUOTE]
He's shown himself to be a fantastic entertainment-er the past few months. His series with Daniel Bryan was excellent, even if the whole thing started and finished in under 7 days' time (instead of being strung out over time, using it to get both guys over). He showed it wasn't a fluke by having excellent matches with other entertainment-ers in the months since then. He was an excellent foil to a super heel in Vickie Guerrero, and despite him being hot (just like Del Rio), WWE stuck with one of the most milquetoast options to retain the title.
He has an incredible future and is a solid talent. None of this changes the fact that his ring name is Dolph
ing Ziggler.- Status
bread's done