Russo, Jarrett, and Dutch Mantell are responsible for Impact. Russo did TONS of shit with Buff Bagwell's mother - why is the idea of him doing something with Abyss' "mother" outside the realm of plausability?
Here's my collection of quotes from tonight's show.
Angle - Imagine when these three huge egos unify. Imagine when these three egos unite! IMAGINE WHEN THESE THREE EGOS BECOME ONE!
Tenay - My God, HELL HAS FROZEN OVER!
Tenay - Captain Kurt Angle!
DW - It’s genius if you think about. He picked Joe, who lost the championship at Destination X, so he’s got revenge on his mind.
AJ - Ugh, THEY LOOK LIKE A WELL-OILED MACHINE! I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOT ME IN TO!
Cage - I take the title shot back.
AJ - You can't take it back.
Cage - Yes I can.
AJ - No you can't.
Cage - Yes I can.
AJ - No you can't.
Cage - YES I CAN!
Cage - By the end of the night, the sides will be even… I think…
AJ - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK!?
Tenay - During the commercial break, our TNA cameras captured this very disturbing footage of Serotonin. This Raven is sick!
(After very sick footage)
Tenay - On April 15th, TNA presents Lockdown!
Sting - You almost took my eye out, bro!
Tenay - WOW, THIS IS UNEXPECTED, AN UNSCHEDULED APPEARANCE BY TEAM 3D!
Tenay - Well head to head, LAX does have the better won-loss record!
Tenay - You know these two teams are so similar that they’ll do anything to win a match!
DW - Brother Ray giving us a history lesson, and let’s face it, both of these teams have made history!
Tenay - THERE’S THE WWE WORLD TAG TEAM TTITLES!
Tenay - There’s the second set of titles, THE WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES!
DW - There’s their favorite tag titles…
Tenay - THE ECW WORLD TAG TITLES!
Konnan - Let’s make one thing clear, Butter Bean and Krispy Kreme!
Konnan - Are we supposed to put these belts on and pretend we’re the tag champions of some other organization? WE’RE ALREADY TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
DW - WOAH, KONNAN MEANS BUSINESS!
Konnan - UNTIL YOU BEAT LAX, YOU CAN’T CLAIM A LEGACY!
Backlund - Mr. CORNETTE, I WANT A MATCH AT LOCKDOWN!
Backlund - I’VE NEVER EATEN MARIJUANA!
Backlund - I’m not even sure how they snort whatever it is they snort!
Backlund - I’M GOING TO THE MOON!
Cornette - That has chunks in it.
Tenay - WHAT IS ROBERT ROODE DOING IN THE TUNNEL WITH AUSTIN STARR!?
DW - I’d love to have been a fly in the wall in that tunnel!
Tenay - PETEY WILLIAMS TO THE RESCUE!
Tenay - Do you think Petey Williams could be the friend that Eric keeps talking about?
DW - IT HAS TO BE!
Lynn - You said it best, JB. It’s the first time Jerry Lynn will face James Storm. I have no beef with the man.
Tenay - What direction is Daniels taking his career in? First, the Sting mask…
DW - WHAT DOES STING HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS!?
Harris - I’m ready to come back.
Cornette - You almost lost 60% of your vision. TNA is a company, we cannot be liable of your blindness. You bring me a doctor’s note that says you’re 100%, and you’ll be back, until then, you’re off the roster. I can make you a referee! That’s the best I can do.
Harris - Your best isn’t good enough.
Storm - There’s two things I like to do in life! Drink beer and beat people up, and guess what, I’m all out of beer boys!
DW - THERE’S THE MAN THAT HE DAMAGED!
Jacqueline - Gail Kim, this has nothing to do with you! YOU LITTLE SNOT!?
Tenay - DID SHE JUST SAY THAT!?
DW - THAT STRUCK A NERVE!
DW - DAYUM, LET’S LOCK THESE TWO INSIDE THE CAGE!
Gail - Jim Cornette, I want a match with Jackie now! AT LOCKDOWN!
Tenay - THERE GOES THE PRINTER!
Tenay - Well it looks to me like AJ DRANK THE KOOL-AID!
Tenay - THIS IS WHAT STING HAS WORKED FOR THOSE MANY MONTHS!
Tenay - Do you think that the third member of Team Cage could be TOMKO!?
Tenay - When we return, MORE OF HELL FROZE OVER!
Tenay - He’s giving himself the doomsday!
DW - He’s a man on a mission!
Tenay - WHO’S SHE!?
DW - THIS IS GETTING REALLY BIZARRE!
DW - Obviously this woman has some kind of power over Abyss!
DW - WHO IS SHE!?
DW - THIS IS JUST WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!
Tenay - THEY STEAL IT! OUTRIGHT ROBBERY!