LAS VEGAS (AP) - After years of racist thinking and unapologetically using the "N word" (including one idiotic rant directed at President Obama last month), DrP1zza finally got what was coming to him on an otherwise quiet Sunday afternoon.
The merciless beating he received at the hands of one "Big Black Smurf" will go down in the annals (or is it anals?) of time. While the fight was sanctioned by the Nevada State Athletic Commission and put on as part of CAGFC's third show, titled "Fully Loaded", the only things fully loaded were the devastating strikes that rained down into DrP1zza's skull as referee Mario Yamasaki flailed his arms haplessly, as though pleading for Big Black Smurf to stop.
From the opening bell, Big Black Smurf dominated the match, delivering big shots at will, and controlling DrP1zza in his seemingly inescapable clinch. However, DrP1zza somehow managed to put up a fight, and scored a few takedowns, narrowly getting out of the round.
In the 2nd round, it was more of the same. Big Black Smurf continued to utilize his clinch game, even knocking DrP1zza to the mat several times. Astonishingly, DrP1zza just kept coming back for more.
Finally, as the final minutes of the 2nd round ticked away, Big Black Smurf knocked DrP1zza to the canvas once more. He stood over DrP1zza with fire in his eyes and began raining down his mammoth hands in a fury.
DrP1zza struggled, but finally succombed to the will of the massive dark force towering over him. Just before losing complete consciousness, DrP1zza managed to spit out his mouthpiece, looked into his aggressor's eyes, and meekly pleaded "OW! JESUS CHRIST! STOP HITTING ME YOU N*****!!!"
DrP1zza refused to comment as he exited the ring, although he did slap one of the ringside cameras as he went by. Some people never learn.