How would it make you feel if your girlfriend proposed to you??

I too love the epicness of this thread. i think I'll even go back and read the entire thing. sounds like some hilarity is to be found there.[quote name='perdition(troy']The majority of you guys seem terrified of living with a woman, as if she is going to suddenly turn batshit crazy and hate everything about your lifestyle.[/QUOTE]I'm saying though.. maybe some of us have some crazy habits that they just hide like maybe secret nazis or something.
[quote name='Chronis']It's just that there is no downtime anymore. Once you are living fulltime with someone, you are going to deal with all their habits consistantly. The toilet seat one is stupid, but since it's already brought up, lets us it.[/QUOTE]sure the toilet seat is metaphor but it's the perfect metaphor for what we're discussing. It's principles can be applied to anything

I say if you piss on the seat, your girl will get angry. If she's still trying to show you her nice side she'll let it slide but if you guys are serious and you've spend 5 weekends with her and 3 of those weekends you've pissed on the seat she should feel comfortable enough to smack you in the head for it. The reason relationships 'suddenly break' when marriage and moving in happen at once is because you guys aren't being open enough. I say this as someone who is admittedly not very open. Maybe if I was other aspects of my relationship wouldn't have gone down the way they did (see my recent blogpost) I'm not saying marriage doesn't change things. I wouldnt dare be so presumptuous. Making it official would rock my world. It's crazy just thinking about how much different things would be. It might even be the reason me and girl would break up if i wasn't ready for it. I will say that moving in together shouldn't be the barometer you guys are making it out to be. At the very least someone has to co-sign that it doesn't HAVE to be.

I'll yield the point that until you live together you don't get a real sense of how to work finances for two. Unless the two of you are accounting majors you can't really prepare for that. that's just one aspect of the marriage though. important sure but not insurmountable.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Just my two cents.. don't blow the money on a new engagement ring. As I found out the hard way when my engagement fell through, the true value of the ring is about 10-30% of retail on the open market. (And yes, it was a nice Jared ring, cost a few thousand and appraised for $500 more than I paid)

You can find a plethora of rings for half or more off retail that are perfectly fine except they're not being used (and you could help out some poor schmo who got dicked over in the process).
 
I remember someone (on CAG?) suggesting that you really should go easy on the engagement ring. It's the wedding ring that matters.

It was actually much longer and better explained but that was the gist.
 
[quote name='Wolfkin']I remember someone (on CAG?) suggesting that you really should go easy on the engagement ring. It's the wedding ring that matters.

It was actually much longer and better explained but that was the gist.[/QUOTE]


I can't see that really being the case. Typically the engagement ring is a diamond, while the wedding band is often just a gold or platinum band (though it can have diamonds too) to be warn on the same finger as the engagement ring.

I suppose the smart way to do it is to buy a set or look for both at the same time (if you're planning on having the wedding in a year or less) and making sure you get ones that go together well etc. But really as long as it's a simple diamond engagement ring any wedding band will go with it fine.
 
[quote name='Wolfkin']I remember someone (on CAG?) suggesting that you really should go easy on the engagement ring. It's the wedding ring that matters.

It was actually much longer and better explained but that was the gist.[/QUOTE]
Yea I totally agree with not going crazy with the engagement ring. It was popularized by media funded by diamond sellers. BUT, one CAG in this thread said that it shows you are financially stable and ready; the bigger the diamond the more stable you are. Kind of makes sense - if you can't afford purchasing a ring then you probably are financially stable enough to be getting engaged. Interesting take.
 
I wouldn't mind, the end result is the same.

Here is my tip. Move in with her first before marriage. If you can live with her everyday for at least 6 months and your relationship doesn't shit itself. You're pretty much good to go. That is why I think most marriages fail. You get the pressure and etc from suddenly living together combined with being married, its just too much shit for the camel to take sometimes.

Oh yea one more thing. Think about a pre-nup. If things do go south you don't want to get 50% off your life saving ripped off do ya?
 
[quote name='fatherofcaitlyn']Buying the ring can be a good test for the future spouse.

Let's say the OP finds a $4000 ring for $2000. That is a huge deal. If the future spouse whines that the ring is "used", she is not "the one".

If the future spouse is truly frugal, she'll appreciate the effort to find a good deal on an item that retains its value.[/QUOTE]


If she whines at all I'll know she's not the one. That would be extremely insulting to me. I'm probably going to go with a 1/2 carat solitaire, set in yellow gold. Sure, it's basic, but it's simple, classy, and lends itself to upgrades over the years. I really don't want to spend over $1500 (not that she needs to know this).
 
It's amazing all the different avenues of advice people give. There's just so many situations out there.

My husband and I are both Christians, although I was a new Christian when we met in October 2008. We knew the first week we met that we wanted to get married. In July 2009 he proposed to me. We had already gone shopping, and he had let me pick out the engagement and wedding ring. The two rings together were from Helzberg and look very much like this. I believe together they were about $1600.

We spent a lot of time together when we were dating. We saw each other an average of 5 days per week, and we were together nearly every waking hour on Saturday and Sunday of every week once we started dating. We felt a natural fit for one another, and even now, we consider each other our best friend.

We lived with each other for a little more than a week before the marriage, as I had already moved the vast majority of my stuff into his place. I slept the couch for that time (my choice -- he had a really old single bed I didn't want to sleep in), and the first night we shared a bed was our wedding night.

I know my story is a little old-fashioned, but I'm just saying that different things work for different folks. We married in January, and we're both really happy. We play video games together, run errands together, and make time for tickling the other or simply hugging if one of us is sad.

We're only newlyweds, I know. But I think it's important to go into a marriage thinking, "I'm going to make this work." Because marriage is work. I think too many people go into marriage thinking it's something that is disposable.

Just my two cents on the thread's various recent topics.
 
red wings. forgot about that for the list. didn't think it was all that popular among girls but someone mentioned it last year and you did bring up watersports

I don't know how common it is but I can dig the idea utopianmachine brings up of going as a couple to buy them as a set. You talk about a ceiling before you go and then have a day or two of ring shopping. I think that could be really nice.

the only real issue it brings up is the lack of spontaneity. Not the worst thing in the world i suppose and it sounds like in your situation you're past that. That is to say marriage is implicitly if not explicitly on the table currently collecting inverse lottery odds. I guess you could also propose with a dirty cheap ring and then go shopping for real rings after. Would that be tacky?
 
[quote name='Wolfkin']I don't know how common it is but I can dig the idea utopianmachine brings up of going as a couple to buy them as a set. You talk about a ceiling before you go and then have a day or two of ring shopping. I think that could be really nice.

the only real issue it brings up is the lack of spontaneity. Not the worst thing in the world i suppose and it sounds like in your situation you're past that. That is to say marriage is implicitly if not explicitly on the table currently collecting inverse lottery odds. I guess you could also propose with a dirty cheap ring and then go shopping for real rings after. Would that be tacky?[/QUOTE]

A lot of the girls in the office I was working in at the time had recently gotten engaged or married, and all of them had gone ring-shopping with their spouse. Not wanting my guy to spend a lot of money on a ring, we had initially picked out a $900 ring/band combo in a catalogue, but when we went to see it at the store, we were both disappointed.

We picked a Saturday and went out to the local mall. After visiting three jewelry stores, I had picked out the ring I loved. Even though it was a little more than he wanted to spend, he loved how nice it looked and saw how much I loved it. I didn't care about clarity or anything. I don't know how many carats my ring is. All I wanted was a pretty ring.

Different situations work for different folks. We talked about everything before marriage. What we would do in this situation or that. We're very safe people, in that we both like to establish bedrocks and work from there. We didn't really want surprises in all this, as it was a monumental move for both of us. I had had a lot of depression, self-harm, divorced parents. He had suffered with a disease for half his life that had finally been cured a few years previously through surgery (ulcerative colitis, for those who want to know).

We both had barely dated, but we clicked in a way I would have never thought really existed. Sometimes when you find the right one, you know immediately.
 
[quote name='Number83']It's not the engagement ring you need to go hog wild over...it's the anniversary band at 10 years.[/QUOTE]I guess no more games for you after that point, since you have to pay for it somehow? ;)
 
Well, ideally after 10 years of marriage a person would be at a point of their life to be in pretty good shape financially. But of course it's always important to live with in your means, and that includes not spending more on engagement/wedding rings, 10 year anniversary rings etc. than you can easily afford.
 
[quote name='Fortune_P_Dawg']If she whines at all I'll know she's not the one. That would be extremely insulting to me. I'm probably going to go with a 1/2 carat solitaire, set in yellow gold. Sure, it's basic, but it's simple, classy, and lends itself to upgrades over the years. I really don't want to spend over $1500 (not that she needs to know this).[/QUOTE]

One of my former GFs said she would not get married unless she got at least a 1 1/2 carat diamond ring. That was before we dated.

By the time I was done with her; bitch stopped talking about a ring and was buying me Egg McMuffins. ;)
 
[quote name='shrike4242']I guess no more games for you after that point, since you have to pay for it somehow? ;)[/QUOTE]

:D

Actually...

We crossed 10 years this past December and while we were on vacation in the Caribbean, I surprised her. She was trying on different rings all weekend, and kept coming back to this one particular Sophia Fiori Blue Diamond anniversary ring with interchangable wedding bands that were part of it, that several of the jewelers on the different islands had.

On the last day of our vacation, we went to one last store that had it and she had tried it on, and I could tell that she really wanted it, not only for herself, but so that she would have something special to give our daughter someday. But she couldn't justify the cost in her mind.

Little did she know that I saved up a little money over the past several years in a secret account just for this very occasion (Yay responsible fiscal planning!) and when she finally said "No, Thanks", I turned to the jeweler and said "She'll take it". She looked at me and I thought she was going to faint...BEST REACTION EVER!!! Hell, even the jeweler hugged me.

Granted it's not Chicken Nachos...but what is?

Oh, to answer your question...Yes, I can stll buy games, but no more Star Wars figures.

But that is another story...
 
[quote name='Number83']:D

Oh, to answer your question...Yes, I can stll buy games, but no more Star Wars figures.

But that is another story...[/QUOTE]


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

darth_vader_noooo1.jpg
 
[quote name='Number83']Little did she know that I saved up a little money over the past several years in a secret account just for this very occasion (Yay responsible fiscal planning!) and when she finally said "No, Thanks", I turned to the jeweler and said "She'll take it". She looked at me and I thought she was going to faint...BEST REACTION EVER!!! Hell, even the jeweler hugged me.[/QUOTE]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I bet it's a beautiful ring. :applause:
 
Gonna add one more thing. No one walks around with a magnifying glass in their pocket to inspect diamonds, so you can skimp on the 4Cs as long as the stone looks good and you know that it's a good value for the money you're paying. No one will care that the diamond is perfect if it's tiny, size matters in this case.
 
[quote name='QiG']Gonna add one more thing. No one walks around with a magnifying glass in their pocket to inspect diamonds, so you can skimp on the 4Cs as long as the stone looks good and you know that it's a good value for the money you're paying. No one will care that the diamond is perfect if it's tiny, size matters in this case.[/QUOTE]

True, but it's a matter of not wanting to get ripped off. You don't want to pay the price for a near flawless diamond for a flawed diamond. One should always try to get their money's worth.

Plus it's added salt in the wound if the engagement gets broken off and you're left with a ring that you find out is worth way less than what you thought.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The nicest chick can turn into such a greedy bitch when it comes to rings. They can never just say, "Hey instead of spending a few grand on this pointless ring. Let's save it and go on a vacation or use it for extra spending's." They just say, "GIVE ME NOW OR YOU ARE AN ASS!"
 
I think it is great she was thinking of proposing. I don't think women sometimes realize how vulnerable we men make ourselves at times.
 
[quote name='DarkNessBear']The nicest chick can turn into such a greedy bitch when it comes to rings. They can never just say, "Hey instead of spending a few grand on this pointless ring. Let's save it and go on a vacation or use it for extra spending's." They just say, "GIVE ME NOW OR YOU ARE AN ASS!"[/QUOTE]

Is there a story there?
 
[quote name='slowdive21']By the time I was done with her; bitch stopped talking about a ring and was buying me Egg McMuffins. ;)[/QUOTE]
lol + kudos on your username (Slowdi
 
[quote name='Canadian_Man']admiralackbar.jpg[/QUOTE]

Renewing your vows is beyond a trap. It is standing in front of a crowd of people and claiming this life was the best decision. Given the vast number of financial, educational, emotional and physical mistakes I've made (or anybody makes) over the past two decades, I can't claim I've chosen the best path.
 
[quote name='fatherofcaitlyn']Renewing your vows is beyond a trap. It is standing in front of a crowd of people and claiming this life was the best decision. Given the vast number of financial, educational, emotional and physical mistakes I've made (or anybody makes) over the past two decades, I can't claim I've chosen the best path.[/QUOTE]

That's seems a bit over-dramatic vs. just being a symbol of proclaiming that you still want to spend the rest of your life with that person. I'm mean it's "for better or worse, richer or poorer.....", no real expectation that it's going to be all sunshine all the time, nor that vows should only be renewed if it has been.

Now if you're not comfortable saying again that you want to spend your life with that person after the first 10 years, then that's a different matter...
 
[quote name='slowdive21']One of my former GFs said she would not get married unless she got at least a 1 1/2 carat diamond ring. That was before we dated.

By the time I was done with her; bitch stopped talking about a ring and was buying me Egg McMuffins. ;)[/QUOTE]
^5

Now if only I could find a woman who wasn't so frickin' set in her ways. The last one I had 'loved everything bout me' but as we were getting more serious she wanted to try and change my clothes(jeans n t-shirt most times), what I was driving(old clunker), my given choice of hobby(video gaming) and who I hung around with(old friend from HS most times).

Of course asking her to change her opinions on what she wanted from a house and so on was unreasonable, but I would have to put in HALF towards HER dreams. Yeah. fuck that.

Yeah. That didn't last. Getting laid regularly is nice, but if ya gotta put up with someone trying to change everything about you it's just not worth it.
 
[quote name='IAmTheCheapestGamer']^5

Now if only I could find a woman who wasn't so frickin' set in her ways. The last one I had 'loved everything bout me' but as we were getting more serious she wanted to try and change my clothes(jeans n t-shirt most times), what I was driving(old clunker), my given choice of hobby(video gaming) and who I hung around with(old friend from HS most times).

Of course asking her to change her opinions on what she wanted from a house and so on was unreasonable, but I would have to put in HALF towards HER dreams. Yeah. fuck that.

Yeah. That didn't last. Getting laid regularly is nice, but if ya gotta put up with someone trying to change everything about you it's just not worth it.[/QUOTE]

This! This is most women. They date guy that they feel are a challenge, and they want to change them into the man they want him to be. If they see you as something they'd want well thats no fun. They want the asshole who dresses bad so they can change him and show him off to their girlfriends.
 
[quote name='AvidWriter']This! This is most women. They date guy that they feel are a challenge, and they want to change them into the man they want him to be. If they see you as something they'd want well thats no fun. They want the asshole who dresses bad so they can change him and show him off to their girlfriends.[/QUOTE]
Are you saying I'm an asshole with no sense of fashion?:booty:It's not the first time and it certainly won't be the last.;)
 
[quote name='dmaul1114']Now if you're not comfortable saying again that you want to spend your life with that person after the first 10 years, then that's a different matter...[/QUOTE]

I'm not, but the first ten years of any marriage can be the most taxing. Any kids created will be their most expensive and time consuming while careers are in their early stages and generate the least amount of money or benefits.

Renewing vows, buying rings, planning a proposal or planning a wedding just seem so insignificant to the tens of thousands of hours spent raising kids, working towards some mythical checkpoint called retirement and ignoring the road less traveled.
 
Treating her special
[quote name='Number83']We crossed 10 years this past December and while we were on vacation in the Caribbean, I surprised her. She was trying on different rings all weekend, and kept coming back to this one particular Sophia Fiori Blue Diamond anniversary ring with interchangable wedding bands that were part of it, that several of the jewelers on the different islands had.

On the last day of our vacation, we went to one last store that had it and she had tried it on, and I could tell that she really wanted it, not only for herself, but so that she would have something special to give our daughter someday. But she couldn't justify the cost in her mind.

Little did she know that I saved up a little money over the past several years in a secret account just for this very occasion (Yay responsible fiscal planning!) and when she finally said "No, Thanks", I turned to the jeweler and said "She'll take it". She looked at me and I thought she was going to faint...BEST REACTION EVER!!! Hell, even the jeweler hugged me.[/QUOTE]
You're doing it awesome!!
 
I'd be okay with being soulfully "married"; I just wouldn't want all that paperwork and ceremony and legalities.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top