Angle - AJ, Tomko, all we have to do is win two out of our three matches and we’ll have the man advantage at Destination X. Tonight could be the most important night in the history of the Angle Alliance!
AJ - Where’s Karen?
Angle - AT HOME, WHERE SHE BELONGS! Why have you been calling my wife?
AJ - Well, according to Karen, I’m her husband too…
Angle - Shut up and take that stupid crown off your head!
Angle - Tomko, tonight, you’ve got Samoa Joe in a first blood match. Samoans love to bleed, SO MAKE HIM BLEED HARD!
Tomko - Okay.
Tenay - This Sunday, it’s the Angle Alliance versus the Unlikely Alliance, but tonight, we’ll find out who gets the man advantage at Destination X.
Cornette - Destination X is shaping up to be yet another great pay-per-view. We’ve got Elevation X, Booker T versus Robert Roode, and the knockouts, X division, and tag titles will be defended. Tonight, the men involved in the main event will be involved in three separate singles contests. Kevin Nash will face AJ Styles in a street fight, Tomko will face Samoa Joe in a first blood match, and Christian Cage will face Kurt Angle in a six sides of steel match in our main event where the only way to win is to go over the top of the cage and reach the floor. All matches must have a winner, and the team with two wins tonight goes into the main event with an advantage, while the losing team goes in with a handicap. Now, let’s bring out the man who will face Robert Roode…Booker T!
Tenay - It’ll be hard to watch this B-roll, but let’s watch Robert Roode strap Booker T.
Cornette - This Sunday, you’ll have Robert Roode in a match where you’ll be joined wrist-to-wrist with a ten foot leather strap. But, there’s a special stipulation, Brooks in your corner, Banks in his, and if Roode wins, he has a chance to give Traci Brooks 10 lashes, but if you win, then Traci gets to take that big, thick strap and give Payton Banks those 10 lashes she so richly deserves!
Booker - My thoughts is this. That chicken head…
Tenay - THE CHICKEN HEAD JUST FOUND OUT IT’LL BE A STAND BY YOUR MAN LEATHER STRAP MATCH!
Roode - Screw you Cornette, and screw you too, Booker T. Unlike you, Booker. (fans boo) SCREW ALL OF YOU! Unlike you, Robert Roode is not one to put a woman like Payton Banks in harm’s way. You may think it’s funny to see her get strapped, but to me, it’s pathetic. And it’s against my moral fiber.
DW - MORAL FIBER!? HE BROKE SHARMELL’S JAW AND HE COULD CARE LESS!
Roode - This whole thing is between you and me, and at Destination X, it will end between you and me. What I’m trying to say is this - stop hiding behind your skanks and for once in your life, be a man and fight your own damn battles!
Booker - You know, we don’t gotta wait, we can do this right now!
Tenay - OH THEY’RE FIGHTING ON THE APRON!
DW - HE’S TRYING TO KILL HIM! THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!
Tenay - STAND BY YOUR MAN LEATHER STRAP MATCH, LET’S HEAR FROM THE UNLIKELY ADVANTAGE!
Crystal - If you guys win two of your three matches, the Angle Alliance has to start one man short.
Joe - Tonight, we gain an advantage and you lose an advantage. Tomko, you will bleed!
Cage - The three of us have come to an understanding, and more importantly, we understand business - THE WRESTLING BUSINESS! It’s called working the system - you’ve got two past world heavyweight champions and one future world champion. Our way might not be the most popular way, it might get ya some heat with the boys in the back, or with management, but WHO CARES!? You can call us the usual suspects, and tonight, the usual suspects are going to do take out the Angle Alliance. Tonight, Kurt Angle, you’re gonna find out why they call me…okay, why I call myself, THE INSTANT CLASSIC!
Nash - AJ BROTHER, WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE KEVSTER AND HIS 17 TIMES SURGICALLY REPAIRED KNEES COME DOWN ON YOU!?
Ad Guy - Up next, Kevin Nash faces AJ Styles in a street fight!
New Nash Shirt - 2008 Big Sexy Tour - SOLD OUT!
Tenay - The winning team tonight gets an advantage!
DW - WHAT AN ADVANTAGE IT IS! 2-ON-3! FOR FIVE MINUTES, BUT THAT FIVE MINUTES WILL SEEM LIKE AN ETERNITY!
DW - After watching Kevin Nash last week, you’d better be focused 1000%, or Kevin Nash WILL KILL YOU!
(during Nash-AJ)Tenay - This replay is brought to you by 10,000 B.C.
Tenay - The winning team tonight gets a five minute advantage at Destination X!
Tenay - LET’S TAKE IT TO CRYSTAL, SHE’S WITH THE ALTER EGO OF DUSTIN RHODES - BLACK REIGN!
Crystal - Black Reign, I don’t like being around you and Misty.
Reign - Why? Does Misty stink? (he sniffs Misty) I THINK YOU STINK! Eric Young, we aren’t movie monsters, WE’RE REAL! Kaz, if you make it to Destination X, I WILL EAT YOUR FACE!
Crystal - Jay Lethal, we all know you have a big X Division title defense match at Destination X, but tonight you’ve got a battle royal.
Lethal - Yeah, I’M GONNA POP LITTLE PETEY PUMP! I’m gonna date So Cal Val and I might hit it, YEAH!
EY - Come on JB, let’s do this, be quiet - I saw this in a movie.
JB - Just do what Kaz said - reach inside and pull it out.
EY - The monsters are gonna give me a wedgie at the pay-per-view?
JB - No, reach inside yourself…
EY - Give myself a wedgie?
JB - No, Kaz said that we all have an alter ego. You just need to find yours.
Tenay - Now it’s a special Destination X battle royal - the winner gets to add a STIPULATION TO THEIR MATCH AT DESTINATION X!
Ray - YOU LOSERS JUST WAIT RIGHT THERE! AFTER ME AND DEVON MAKE WEIGHT, WE’RE WINNING THIS BATTLE ROYAL!
Tenay - DEVON FAILS!
DW- If Ray fails, THEY CAN’T NAME THEIR STIPULATION FOR DESTINATION X!
Ray - Fine, we don’t wanna be in this battle royal anyway! YOU KNOW WHY WE CAN’T MAKE WEIGHT EVERY WEEK? BECAUSE MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT!
DW - I haven’t been able to see the muscle through all that fat.
Tenay - Now with their match against Curry Man and Shark Boy, they have no chance at naming their stipulation at Destination X!
Tenay - YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD ABOUT PETEY AND STEINER?
DW - Yes, Steiner’s gonna make sure that Petey has Rocka Khan to make sure that he wins the X division title!
Tenay - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THE SICK FLIP PILEDRIVER ALLOWED PETEY TO ELIMINATE BLACK MACHISMO!?
Tenay - FINAL THREE IN THE DESTINATION X BATTLE ROYAL - THE WINNER GETS TO ADD A STIPULATION TO THEIR ALREADY-SCHEDULED DESTINATION X MATCH!
DW - Curry Man hits Hoyt with the back hip attack!
Tenay - RELLIK IS ON THE VERGE OF BEING ABLE TO ADD A STIPULATION TO HIS MATCH AT DESTINATION X!
Tenay - DOMO LARAITO! CURRY MAN WINS THE BATTLE ROYAL!
Tenay - CURRY MAN GETS TO NAME HIS STIPULATION! WHAT KIND OF MATCH WILL IT BE? CAN HE EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH?
Curry Man - Domo Arigato! Destination X-ooo, Sharky Booyyyy-ooo
Shark Boy - No one can understand a damn word of that Chinese you’re speaking now!
Tenay - It’s Japanese if you’re keeping score.
Shark Boy - Fat boys, if you lose the match, or fail to make weight - you’re gone from TNA for good! If you’d like to see them gone, give me a SHELL YEAH!
DW - SHELL YEAH!
Shark Boy - If you manage to make weight, we’re gonna have a good, old-fashioned Fish Market Street Fight!
Tenay - OH AND WHY WOULDN’T WE!
Shark Boy - Only instead of shoving it in your face, we’re gonna shove it up your fat basses!
Tenay - At Destination X, it’ll be a fish market street fight! Now let’s go to JB with Velvet Sky and Angelina Love!
Velvet - Pet her.
Angelina - Velvet Sky and I want to apologize for mocking your premonitin.
Velvet - We were dead wrong - even beautiful people make mistakes, once.
Angelina - Next week, we’re gonna give you a makeover! Free of charge! We’re gonna make you one of the beautiful people! Just like us!
Roxxi - Beautiful people!?
Penzer - THIS IS THE FIRST BLOOD MATCH! Coming down to the ring, one half of the TNA World Tag Team championship, TOMKO!
(Joe rings bell with the hammer)Tenay - JOE’S GOT THE HAMMER!
DW - Joe’s checking his head to make sure he isn’t bleeding, and it’s like giving him some extra strength.
(after a leg lariat into the chair)DW - THERE’S NO WAY TOMKO’S HEAD ISN’T BLEEDING!
Tenay - OH, IT ISN’T BLEEDING!
(a bleeding wound is found on Joe’s arm)DW - THEY’RE STOPPING THE MATCH FOR THAT!?
Tenay - WELL, THAT’S THE RULE OF A FIRST BLOOD MATCH!
Storm - I AM COWBOY JAMES STORM, AND I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING!
Kip - Brian was good in the mic, and my mic skills aren’t so good. I was dedicated to working out, finding a gym in every town, he wasn’t. Not that I was always the most dedicated guy, but I was near the top.
(after 3 minutes)DW - IT’S ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE THE PERSONAL SIDE OF THESE TNA SUPERSTARS!
J.B. - Where is your son, Abyss?
Mitchell - I’ve never been one to brag, in fact, I’ve never been one to talk about myself. I’m here to tell everyone in the Impact Zone, and everyone watching the idiot box that I WAS RIGHT! DON’T EVER DOUBT ME! MY NUMBER 1 SON DID EXACTLY WHAT I SAID HE WOULD DO! In a fit of shame, my son Abyss removed his mask. Abyss, Chris, you can go join your mother in the looney bin - I’m sure there’s a rubber room for you. Now that brings us to Rhino, or should I say Wino - you’re fond of the fruit of the vine, but you never listened to me when where were on speaking terms when I said that the key was indulgence not convulsion. My son never drinks wine, hooch, or bathtub gin, but he does have a taste for blood - and he’s going to drink yours. He will do that, and I will giggle maniacally while you choke on your own blood. Bottoms up!
Rhino - Storm, this belt’s a lot like you - it’s a piece of crap! YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO PIECES OF CRAP? (he throws belt down and smashes it) NOW BRING ME MY OPPONENT SO I CAN GIVE HIM THE GORE, GORE, GORE!!!
Penzer - From the DEPTHS OF HELL - JUDAS MESIAS!
Tenay - To update the situation- it’s three weeks later, and nothing has been solved. No one has seen Abyss.
DW- I think he’s just emotionally exhausted and doesn’t have it in him anymore.
Saed - SILENCE! KONG DOES NOT WISH TO SPEAK, BUT THIS IS WHAT KONG WANTS TO SAY! Tonight, Salinas, Kong is very sorry for what she’s going to do to you. She doesn’t know you, but she’s going to destroy you. Now, I shall address the swine - ODB and Gail Kim. You both have committed an act of war, and you both shall suffer the wrath of Kong for your foolish acts!
Cide - Why are you covered in bed sheets? Let’s take a peek…(Kong pushes him)
DW - THIS HAS BECOME A TENSE SITUATION!
Tenay - AWESOME KONG WRESTLES NEXT!
Tenay - In TNA, dominance in a single division for a prolonged period of time is rare - except for the Knockouts division, which is dominated by Awesome Kong.
Tenay - TNA DEBUTS IN NORFOLK, VIRGINIA THIS WEEKEND, AND JUST LOOK AT THIS LINEUP! Awesome Kong versus Gail Kim versus ODB, Petey Williams with Scott Steiner’s freak versus Black Machismo for the X division title, the STAND BY YOUR MAN STRAP MATCH, BOOKER T VERSUS ROBERT ROODE, THE UNLIKELY ALLIANCE VERSUS THE ANGLE ALLIANCE! GO TO TNAWRESTLING.COM FOR MORE!
DW - Kurt Angle wouldn’t want to be nothing but the deciding factor! WHEN WE COME BACK, SIX SIDES OF STEEL!
Tenay - You can win this match by either climbing over the top of the cage, or going through the door and hitting the floor.
DW - Boy, if Angle had scooted out of the cage faster, he’d be the…victorious in this match.
DW - Both of these realize how important this is - they want to inflict pain on the other one!
Tenay - Angle tries to take him up for the Angle/Olympic Slam, but Christian reverses!
DW - ANGLE’S GOT HIM IN AN ANKLE LOCK ON THE TOP ROPE! UNBELIEVABLE!
DW - CHRISTIAN’S LEG IS CAUGHT IN THE ROPES! SEE? IT’S CAUGHT!
DW - Angle’s starting to climb, looking for a direction where he’s comfortable with the fall…
Tenay - THE ANGLE ALLIANCE WILL BE OUTNUMBERED AT DESTINATION X!
Tenay - JOE’S TRYING TO USE THE BELL RINGER TO BREAK THE LOCK!
DW - NOW NASH HAS THE BELL RINGER!
Tenay - DON’T EXPECT A WRESTLING MATCH, IT’LL BE AN ALL-OUT BRAWL AT DESTINATION X!