Most Embarrassing Moments

I've got one that happened over the summer. I saw my friend standing outside the bakery she works at and I pulled over to offer her a ride. She declined so I started to leave. Unfortunately, I didn't have a very good spacial sense and I pulled up on the curb !
My friend's like oh shit and I'm like goddammit and I get out and try putting it in reverse
Doesn't work
Some lady in a car is a behind me.
I put it in Neutral and it starts rolling but I'm OUT of the car so I quickly hop back in and step on the brake.
Kinda sucked.
 
I to have pooped myself several times, but they weren't very memorable. Now my masterbation mishaps are quite memorable at least they were when they happened.

The first instance was me masterbating in the living room of my dads place because the vcr was there, and all I had for porn was scrambled porn that I recorded off of select channels. Anyways it was after school 330 or so and my friend had detention so I thought I have some time to myself might as well go for it. Got home and popped in the horribly scrambled tape of almost porn, sat down and started whacking it. I mean I was really getting into whole hip thrusting thing and everything. Well I heard a noise towards the kitchen and look there and to see my friend peeking in on my through one of the bent blinds covering the window laughing his ass off. Suffice to say I didn't finish, never lived that day down after he told all my other friends.

My second instance of being caught involved my ex who I had grown unattracted to. Unfortunately we were living together at the time. Well she wanted sex all the time and I could barely stand to look at her, she would say I don't know why you masterbate I'd suck your **** for you. Yeah well that would involve me getting you off and I don't want to touch you I'd think to myself. Anyways on the day in question she went to church with her sister and I had some time to myself . Only problem was the computer was in the living room. So sure enough just as I'm finishing she walks in, I mean the second I was done. So she walks over to me and looks at me and gives me a disapproving look. I'm like what, I'm not doing anything. She says did you just jerk off? I'm like no why would you ask me that. At which point she motions at the gob of jizz stuck to my leg. Since it was body temp I didn't feel where it landed and thus incriminated myself without meaning to.

r1s3n
 
[quote name='r1s3n']I to have pooped myself several times, but they weren't very memorable. Now my masterbation mishaps are quite memorable at least they were when they happened.

The first instance was me masterbating in the living room of my dads place because the vcr was there, and all I had for porn was scrambled porn that I recorded off of select channels. Anyways it was after school 330 or so and my friend had detention so I thought I have some time to myself might as well go for it. Got home and popped in the horribly scrambled tape of almost porn, sat down and started whacking it. I mean I was really getting into whole hip thrusting thing and everything. Well I heard a noise towards the kitchen and look there and to see my friend peeking in on my through one of the bent blinds covering the window laughing his ass off. Suffice to say I didn't finish, never lived that day down after he told all my other friends.

My second instance of being caught involved my ex who I had grown unattracted to. Unfortunately we were living together at the time. Well she wanted sex all the time and I could barely stand to look at her, she would say I don't know why you masterbate I'd suck your **** for you. Yeah well that would involve me getting you off and I don't want to touch you I'd think to myself. Anyways on the day in question she went to church with her sister and I had some time to myself . Only problem was the computer was in the living room. So sure enough just as I'm finishing she walks in, I mean the second I was done. So she walks over to me and looks at me and gives me a disapproving look. I'm like what, I'm not doing anything. She says did you just jerk off? I'm like no why would you ask me that. At which point she motions at the gob of jizz stuck to my leg. Since it was body temp I didn't feel where it landed and thus incriminated myself without meaning to.

r1s3n[/quote]

:rofl:

MOARRRRR!!!!
 
Ohhh man r1s3n those were some hil lar ri ous jerking stories.
LOL ... damn makes me so glad i've always done the deed behind lock doors.
Guess i'm just not as ballsy as you guys.

Keep these stories coming!
 
[quote name='Paco']I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.[/quote]

[quote name='KaneRobot']A few years back while on a break at work, I met up with a friend who worked nearby to grab some lunch. We hit a Wendy's and went inside. I order my food and sit down. I unwrap my sammich, and to my surprise, there is no meat on it. I show it to my friend, who is equally baffled. Suddenly I get all excited because I'm going to get a chance to use the old "Where's the Beef?" line on the very company that coined it. So I walk up to the extremely fat kid behind the counter, give him a big "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" and lift up the bun on my sandwich...and it was there. I don't know how both my friend and I managed to miss it, but we did. I just mumbled "oh, uh, there it is" and quietly walked back to my seat.[/quote]

I can't believe that I had never noticed this thread. These 2 are my favorites that don't have anything to do with shit. The second one... I can't stop laughing every time I read it.
 
I just thought of three good ones. In order of hilarity.

I went to school with a kid whose dad must have been in his mid 60s by the time we were seniors. One day we were in the gym sitting up on the bleachers waiting for our turn at dodgeball and some old guy comes in on one end of the gym. So I point, laugh, and says "Look at that old bastard!" and the kid next to me says "That's my dad." He must have been bringing the kid his lunch money or some shit, I was about to get all apologetic but by sheer luck some equally ancient guy who happened to be the janitor walked in with his mop and bucket on the other end of the gym. To which I say "No, not him, the janitor."

Me and my best friend were at the store and ran into another kid we had graduated highschool with who was with his dad. He introduces us: "Hi guys! Dad, these are my friends." We shoot the shit for a while catching up on what's been happening since we graduated. After a minute or so we're ready to go so my friend shakes the kid's hand and says "It was good seeing you, Pete!" I caught a laugh in my throat and we walked out of the store, to which I turn to my friend and say "Dude, his name is Paul." I razzed him about how his dad probably turned to his son and said "So, those were your friends, huh? Some friends, don't even know your damn name."

The most embarassing thing I can think of is a kid I knew who used to get ragged on by everyone because he had the most foul breath you could imagine. I'm talking armpit of Satan with a dash of raw sewage on top. We find out later it wasn't his breath that was bad. When was a little kid he accidentally snorted a styrofoam packing peanut up his nose and it got stuck and rotted for a decade.
 
I guess it was way back in highschool (8years ago) when my sometimes boyfriend went around telling everyone he couldn't date anyone else because it would break my heart because and bla bla bla...


now for the embarassing part... for him at least... I found him in the main locker hall picked his scrawny ass up (i wasn't fat but i worked alot at home so i was strong) slammed him into his locker and told him the way of things and to date whom he chose and to stop making stories about me..

he he um embarassing for me, we've now been married for 7.5 years of course this incident is from like 11 years ago....
 
[quote name='auralia']I guess it was way back in highschool (8years ago) when my sometimes boyfriend went around telling everyone he couldn't date anyone else because it would break my heart because and bla bla bla...


now for the embarassing part... for him at least... I found him in the main locker hall picked his scrawny ass up (i wasn't fat but i worked alot at home so i was strong) slammed him into his locker and told him the way of things and to date whom he chose and to stop making stories about me..

he he um embarassing for me, we've now been married for 7.5 years of course this incident is from like 11 years ago....[/quote]

donotwantis3.jpg
 
Sophomore year of college I was taking an Accounting II course. I hated the class and one day we had a huge mid-term exam (who the hell does mid-terms in college anymore anyway?!) I was feeling like crap and I ended up being 10 minutes late for the test because there was crappy weather or something.

Anyway, I finally get there and I walk in and grab my test from the teacher. I notice this little pretentious "how dare you interrupt my test by coming in 10 minutes late, I'm a smart kid and I rool at accounting" guy giving me dagger eyes. I take my seat in front of him and finish about 3 problems before I get the urge to vomit. Rather than throw up on my test, I turned around and projected it all on him, managing to cover everything from his body to his test to his backpack.

I was pretty embarrassed about throwing up in the middle of class but my teacher actually laughed and let me make up the exam later. It also helped to have the satisfaction of watching that kid almost cry because he had orange chunks of bagel and cream cheese all over himself.

Then there was the time my mom caught me shaving my balls but that's a different story :\
 
Oh also, one time at a pep rally for our basketball team, this kid held up his hand for a high-five. I was like "word, another high-five, we're the best, we play basketball in high school and this totally matters in real life!" So I high-fived him. And he was like "wtf are you doing man? That high-five was for Kevin." Kevin was the retarded kid that was the "equipment manager" of our team and he had the saddest look on his face.

I stole a high-five from a retard. Also ranks up there as one of my most embarrassing moments.
 
[quote name='prence']Oh also, one time at a pep rally for our basketball team, this kid held up his hand for a high-five. I was like "word, another high-five, we're the best, we play basketball in high school and this totally matters in real life!" So I high-fived him. And he was like "wtf are you doing man? That high-five was for Kevin." Kevin was the retarded kid that was the "equipment manager" of our team and he had the saddest look on his face.

I stole a high-five from a retard. Also ranks up there as one of my most embarrassing moments.[/quote]


LOL!!! Owned
 
wow, funny thread. i'm in school, but i already laugh at myself and everyone else for being so stereotypical. cherish your embarrassing moments, guys.
 
I have 2 older brothers and 1 older sister. The older brothers are 8 and 6 years older than me, the sister is 4 years older than me. When I was around 5, I still slept with my mother quite a bit because my siblings would scare the shit out me and make me afraid to sleep by myself. I remember my Mom (single mother) got changed in front of me when I was 5 or younger and I was told to close my eyes. I was never sure why I was told to close my eyes, so of course, my curiosity made me peak through my fingers. I saw that she had "hair down there" and being the pure child that we all were, I thought that since I didn't have "hair down there," that obviously meant that only girls do lol. For some reason, age just didn't dawn on me. So anyways, one day my oldest brother (13 at the time) was taking a shower and yelled for someone to hand him a towel because their weren't any in the bathroom. So I was told to go give him a towel...and when I did, I for some reason saw him naked. I then saw he had a bush lol, and I immediately ran out of the bathroom, yelling, "Mom, Danny's a girl, Danny's a girl, he has hair!" lol I remember really thinking that I had discovered that my brother was really a girl, a secret that he apparently was able to keep from everyone his entire life lol. To this day, my brother will bring it up in one of his "remember that time" stories and I just deny it ever happening lol.

Anything embarrassing recently? Maybe a few years ago...stupid stuff for girls...but if girls don't make you do stupid things...you're probably gay. :lol:
 
[quote name='The Successful Dropout']I have 2 older brothers and 1 older sister. The older brothers are 8 and 6 years older than me, the sister is 4 years older than me. When I was around 5, I still slept with my mother quite a bit because my siblings would scare the shit out me and make me afraid to sleep by myself. I remember my Mom (single mother) got changed in front of me when I was 5 or younger and I was told to close my eyes. I was never sure why I was told to close my eyes, so of course, my curiosity made me peak through my fingers. I saw that she had "hair down there" and being the pure child that we all were, I thought that since I didn't have "hair down there," that obviously meant that only girls do lol. For some reason, age just didn't dawn on me. So anyways, one day my oldest brother (13 at the time) was taking a shower and yelled for someone to hand him a towel because their weren't any in the bathroom. So I was told to go give him a towel...and when I did, I for some reason saw him naked. I then saw he had a bush lol, and I immediately ran out of the bathroom, yelling, "Mom, Danny's a girl, Danny's a girl, he has hair!" lol I remember really thinking that I had discovered that my brother was really a girl, a secret that he apparently was able to keep from everyone his entire life lol. To this day, my brother will bring it up in one of his "remember that time" stories and I just deny it ever happening lol.

Anything embarrassing recently? Maybe a few years ago...stupid stuff for girls...but if girls don't make you do stupid things...you're probably gay. :lol:[/quote]

Quoted just in case your bro reads this and prevents you from editing the post so you can't deny it :)
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']Quoted just in case your bro reads this and prevents you from editing the post so you can't deny it :)[/quote]

lol its all good...we barely talk and he doesn't even understand what a "desktop" is...i think i'm safe lol
 
[quote name='The Successful Dropout']I have 2 older brothers and 1 older sister. The older brothers are 8 and 6 years older than me, the sister is 4 years older than me. When I was around 5, I still slept with my mother quite a bit because my siblings would scare the shit out me and make me afraid to sleep by myself. I remember my Mom (single mother) got changed in front of me when I was 5 or younger and I was told to close my eyes. I was never sure why I was told to close my eyes, so of course, my curiosity made me peak through my fingers. I saw that she had "hair down there" and being the pure child that we all were, I thought that since I didn't have "hair down there," that obviously meant that only girls do lol. For some reason, age just didn't dawn on me. So anyways, one day my oldest brother (13 at the time) was taking a shower and yelled for someone to hand him a towel because their weren't any in the bathroom. So I was told to go give him a towel...and when I did, I for some reason saw him naked. I then saw he had a bush lol, and I immediately ran out of the bathroom, yelling, "Mom, Danny's a girl, Danny's a girl, he has hair!" lol I remember really thinking that I had discovered that my brother was really a girl, a secret that he apparently was able to keep from everyone his entire life lol. To this day, my brother will bring it up in one of his "remember that time" stories and I just deny it ever happening lol.

Anything embarrassing recently? Maybe a few years ago...stupid stuff for girls...but if girls don't make you do stupid things...you're probably gay. :lol:[/quote]

There's definitely something wrong with us Baltimorons.
 
I can't remember if I posted in this thread or not, but in gym in high school, we were playing volleyball, and I spiked a ball into a girl's nose.....blood everywhere....I don't even know what her name was. I bet she knows mine, probably. I felt like such an asshole. I still do, even though it wasn't my intent at all.

This is one of about a million embarrassing things I've done. Then there are the unrepeatable ones.
 
[quote name='Stoneage']I can't remember if I posted in this thread or not, but in gym in high school, we were playing volleyball, and I spiked a ball into a girl's nose.....blood everywhere....I don't even know what her name was. I bet she knows mine, probably. I felt like such an asshole. I still do, even though it wasn't my intent at all.

This is one of about a million embarrassing things I've done. Then there are the unrepeatable ones.[/quote]

Going from past experience, I can allow myself to inform you that the Internets are 100% anonymous. Go ahead and repeat those unrepeatables, no one will ever know it was you :]
 
Not so much embarassing but pretty funny...

A friend of mine is full out grossing me out saying how hot my sister is and the things he would do to her.

We're sitting at our lunch table so keep in mind I'm trying to eat.

I got pissed so I spat some milk at him to get him to shut the fuck up.

He gets up to go wipe the milk off his shirt and face and when he's at the very front of the lunch room he screams "THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SISTER!!!"

Whole room (150+ kids) go silent and stare at him covered in a white substance.
 
I remember embarrassing the HELL out of my friend back in college.

We were watching some Japanese music videos on his PC with some of our buddies and 2 Japanese exchange students, a guy and a girl. A Japanese music videos are usually called a "PV", which is short for "Promotional Videos". Anywho, my friend went to the kitchen to get a drink or something a bit before the video we were watching ended. Once it did, my other friend noticed a folder on the desktop labeled "PVs" and said "Hey, are there more videos in the PV folder?" to my friend in the kitchen as I reflexively clicked and opened the folder. My friend in the kitchen screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and, as the folder opened, the Japanese girl in the room screamed.

Guess she wasn't expecting to see a folder full of 6 GIGABYTES of Porn Videos. :lol:
 
[quote name='Gameboy415']

Guess she wasn't expecting to see a folder full of 6 GIGABYTES of Porn Videos. :lol:[/quote]

Only 6gbs of porn? ....it must have been an loooonnng time ago :D
 
[quote name='supraazn']Only 6gbs of porn? ....it must have been an loooonnng time ago :D[/quote]

6gb? I have an even 100gb right now.. that's 40gb more porn than I have than music. :D
 
[quote name='supraazn']Only 6gbs of porn? ....it must have been an loooonnng time ago :D[/quote]

Lol, back when you could only get ~400KB movie files, like 100 sequential ones to comprise 5 seconds of humping. The good old days. AOL and newsgroups.
 
[quote name='The Successful Dropout']I have 2 older brothers and 1 older sister. The older brothers are 8 and 6 years older than me, the sister is 4 years older than me. When I was around 5, I still slept with my mother quite a bit because my siblings would scare the shit out me and make me afraid to sleep by myself. I remember my Mom (single mother) got changed in front of me when I was 5 or younger and I was told to close my eyes. I was never sure why I was told to close my eyes, so of course, my curiosity made me peak through my fingers. I saw that she had "hair down there" and being the pure child that we all were, I thought that since I didn't have "hair down there," that obviously meant that only girls do lol. For some reason, age just didn't dawn on me. So anyways, one day my oldest brother (13 at the time) was taking a shower and yelled for someone to hand him a towel because their weren't any in the bathroom. So I was told to go give him a towel...and when I did, I for some reason saw him naked. I then saw he had a bush lol, and I immediately ran out of the bathroom, yelling, "Mom, Danny's a girl, Danny's a girl, he has hair!" lol I remember really thinking that I had discovered that my brother was really a girl, a secret that he apparently was able to keep from everyone his entire life lol. To this day, my brother will bring it up in one of his "remember that time" stories and I just deny it ever happening lol.

Anything embarrassing recently? Maybe a few years ago...stupid stuff for girls...but if girls don't make you do stupid things...you're probably gay. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Great, great story.
 
I experienced my worst nightmare come to life in the 7th grade. The worst, most embarrassing possible thing I could imagine, happened.

I'm waiting at the bus stop at the end of the road in the morning and the bus is arriving. I feel a fart coming along, so I let it rip before I get on the bus so that I don't stink it up in there. Mistake. It wasn't a log or anything, but more like diarrhea, and I could feel it running down my leg a little. Since the bus is waiting there with the door open, I didn't know what to do. So I just got on and sat down with my squishy undies, praying that no one would smell it.

Later at school in first period, I tell my best buddy (at the time) what happened. He goes, "No way. I bet you $20 bucks you're lying." So I go to the bathroom, take off my underwear in one of the stalls and bring them out to him (and then throw them away in the trash). He starts busting out laughing and then proceeds to tell the whole school that I shat my pants. Literally everyone in the 7th grade knew by lunchtime, and I was constantly being approached about it: "Did you really crap in your pants? Bahahaha." Since I was a pretty nice (and I would say fairly popular) kid, no one would every believe that "PrarieD0G" would do such a thing. And for some reason, I didn't lie about it either. I tried to act nonchalant and just replied, "Yep. Sure did." I was ridiculed the entire day and the days thereafter.

Needless to say, it took me a while to get over that. Just when I thought things were going great and I was starting to get over my shyness I felt myself losing a lot of my self confidence--spontaneous regression, you could say. I really don't know what I was thinking, haha--I guess I just felt like I needed to tell someone because I didn't know what to do, haha. So stupid.


Also here's my vote for funniest story so far:
[quote name='Sofa King Kool']Trust me, I know how awful it feels to take a warm, sloppy dump in your pants.

One time, I think I was in 6th or 7th grade, I was at my local Target looking at DVDs. I felt fine, I didn't have to go to the bathroom, I wasn't sick, nothing. So, as I was looking at the DVDs, I felt a little gas start creeping about. I thought nothing of it, as it felt fairly normal. I tried to squeeze it out silently, considering I was surrounded by three people: one average guy, some fat lady, and this really hot girl.

I was trying to let it out, and everything was going well. Then it happened. Without any form of warning, what felt like a simple fart turned out to be much more. It was silent. Then, all of a sudden;

*PBTHPBTHPBTHPBTHPBTH*

I took a monster dump in my whitey-tighties. All three people knew what had happened, because you could literally hear it hitting my pants. I stood there in horror, DVD in hand, trying to figure out what to do. All three people were staring at me. As I stood there, stunned, the smell hit. I saw the guys face twist in agony. I had no other choice: I ran. I threw the DVD to the floor, and ran through the store searching for a bathroom. While I was running, I could feel the poo sloshing about in my pants. It finally broke free of my underwear, and I felt it pour down my leg. By this point I was practically crying. I finally found a bathroom and ran in. I took off my pants, and to my horror, the shit had smeared everywhere. All down the legs, across the back, and even the front. The shit had even soaked into my white socks and made it's way into my shoes. My legs were caked in shit, pretty much everything from the waist down was. I cleaned myself up as best I could with some toilet paper. I wanted to keep this a secret, so I stuffed my underwear and pants with toilet paper and left the restroom.

The car ride home with my mom was unbearable.[/quote]
 
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[quote name='PrarieD0G']I experienced my worst nightmare come to life in the 7th grade. The worst, most embarrassing possible thing I could imagine, happened.

I'm waiting at the bus stop at the end of the road in the morning and the bus is arriving. I feel a fart coming along, so I let it rip before I get on the bus so that I don't stink it up in there. Mistake. It wasn't a log or anything, but more like diarrhea, and I could feel it running down my leg a little. Since the bus is waiting there with the door open, I didn't know what to do. So I just got on and sat down with my squishy undies, praying that no one would smell it.

Later at school in first period, I tell my best buddy (at the time) what happened. He goes, "No way. I bet you $20 bucks you're lying." So I go to the bathroom, take off my underwear in one of the stalls and bring them out to him (and then throw them away in the trash). He starts busting out laughing and then proceeds to tell the whole school that I shat my pants. Literally everyone in the 7th grade knew by lunchtime, and I was constantly being approached about it: "Did you really crap in your pants? Bahahaha." Since I was a pretty nice (and I would say fairly popular) kid, no one would every believe that "PrarieD0G" would do such a thing. And for some reason, I didn't lie about it either. I tried to act nonchalant and just replied, "Yep. Sure did." I was ridiculed the entire day and the days thereafter.

Needless to say, it took me a while to get over that. Just when I thought things were going great and I was starting to get over my shyness I felt myself losing a lot of my self confidence--spontaneous regression, you could say. I really don't know what I was thinking, haha--I guess I just felt like I needed to tell someone because I didn't know what to do, haha. So stupid.


Also here's my vote for funniest story so far:[/quote]

OMFG ! is that where loserpants comes from?
 
Okay, thought of a good one...

A few years ago (before 9/11) me and my family were coming back from vacation and we were on our flight back home. As the plane was about to touch down my they were saying we should put our seat belts on my dad had the look on his face that said he had to take a shit bad. As in he was basically starting to sweat and every moment was agony for him, but he couldn't do anything since we had to remain seated. This changed though as soon as the airplane landed and all the wheels were on the ground, my dad BOLTED to the bathroom (with a few stewardesses following suit yelling "Sir!"). Suddenly the plane stopped moving toward our terminal and overhead on the intercom we heard the pilot saying "Ladies and gentlemen, we must remain you to remain seated until we reach our terminal for your safety." So there was our plane in the middle of the runway and a few hundred eyes staring over at me and my sister because they knew it was our dad who bolted to the bathroom. One of the stewardesses walked up to us and asked "excuse me, but is your father sick?" And we had to lie and said "Yes, yes he is."

About 10 agonizing minutes later (along with the stewardesses knocking on the bathroom door asking my father to return to his seat) my dad finally came out and we could feel the many leering eyes at us. Shortly thereafter the plane FINALLY got to our terminal...
 
[quote name='panasonic']OMFG ! is that where loserpants comes from?[/quote]

Haha, not quite, but that would make sense. The loserpants comes from my dad making fun of spongebob. It's just a stupid made-up word that I thought was funny. Or maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something? My screen name is even PrarieD0G, a reference to having to take shit real bad. Oh, snap! LOL (kidding).
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']oh here is one.

Valentines Day 2004:
Had a great dinner at a popular steak restaurant. Everything went well.
Afterwards we went to the mall to walk around then about an hour or 2 later I had to go to the bathroom. I was in the bathroom for 20 some minutes and really didn't feel so good (looked pale, swetting). We went back to the car where I was feeling some heart burn. I started feeling really sick in the parking lot and told my girlfriend I wasn't feeling so good and I think something is going to come up. I opened the door and not only threw up in the parking garage, but let a couple of stinky ones out (farts) in the car with my gf in it. She of course freaked.:bouncy: Guess I had food poisoning or something. [/QUOTE]



This is exactly how i feel right now. slept 4 hours in the last 2 days have training for a new position at work in 2 hours. I had to call off didn't want to get the trainer sick incase it is the flu or something.

oh well i guess i can drop a few. The great or horrible thing is most of the ones i do I dont usually get till the next day...


When I was prob 16 was at a church that used metal folding chairs and well I had been letting out silent ones for a while when (yeah you guessed it) I let out a monster one right in the middle of his sermon. I think the metal in the chair help it refract too... He somehow just kept going. I was sitting in a corner so I dont know if anyone knew it was me but it was quite hard keeping my composure...

Was at a quincieneta (sp err that thing where 15 year old spanish girls celebrate) and after awhile we needed some chairs for the stage so i grabed some from the table closest to the stage. (the head table) a couple guys gave me real weird looks but I didn't really consider why till the next day...
 
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My dorm has tour groups going through it during most of the day. The hallway is L shaped but the large group bathroom fills the inner corner so it has a door on each side. I have some... intestinal problems... and I ran to the bathroom, closing the door I ran through since I could hear a tour coming down the hall. Proceeded to have the loudest and most violent diarrhea I had ever had, I mean waterfall like. Turned out the other door was wide open...

A semester later my new roommate turned out to have been from that group and remembers completely.
 
I can't really come close to some of the amazing ones previously in this thread but here goes...

I guess I was about 10 or 11 and was outside playing on my porch with several friends. I don't recall why I let it get to this point but eventually I realized I had to urinate IMMEDIATELY. My parents for some reason had locked the front door so there I am banging on the front door and ringing the bell repeatedly screaming for them to let me in. They took their time asking questions instead of opening the door and I peed my pants right there in front of my friends. My parents did not help matters by finding this the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen...until..

Another time I was probably 18ish and had food poisoning or something because I suddenly started vomiting violently and repeatedly with little warning. I screamed for someone to get me a bucket. Which eventually my mother did after 3 or 4 times. I literally crawled across the kitchen floor vomiting every few feet while my mother and sister laughed their asses off at me.

Most recently earlier this week I was setting up a new HD DirecTV box for my sister and it was not detecting the satellite. I was also putting in an HDMI cable to replace her old style cable wire. Well I called the helpline, waited on hold for an hour, went through 2 tech people and another hour trying and failing to help when I realized I'd connected the now unconnected old line from the TV to the box instead of the direct line from the dish. Oops.
 
[quote name='crowbb']I can't really come close to some of the amazing ones previously in this thread but here goes...

I guess I was about 10 or 11 and was outside playing on my porch with several friends. I don't recall why I let it get to this point but eventually I realized I had to urinate IMMEDIATELY. My parents for some reason had locked the front door so there I am banging on the front door and ringing the bell repeatedly screaming for them to let me in. They took their time asking questions instead of opening the door and I peed my pants right there in front of my friends. My parents did not help matters by finding this the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen...until..

Another time I was probably 18ish and had food poisoning or something because I suddenly started vomiting violently and repeatedly with little warning. I screamed for someone to get me a bucket. Which eventually my mother did after 3 or 4 times. I literally crawled across the kitchen floor vomiting every few feet while my mother and sister laughed their asses off at me.

Most recently earlier this week I was setting up a new HD DirecTV box for my sister and it was not detecting the satellite. I was also putting in an HDMI cable to replace her old style cable wire. Well I called the helpline, waited on hold for an hour, went through 2 tech people and another hour trying and failing to help when I realized I'd connected the now unconnected old line from the TV to the box instead of the direct line from the dish. Oops.[/quote]

Dude, your family is cruel... . if they laughed at me, i would have vomited all over them
 
Thank God I couldn't recall anything recently. But here's something from junior high.

During gym class we had this little jungle gym course that required "station captains" to help us get through the obstacles. The station captains were kids a grade higher than us. I got to one where I had to be picked up and thrown/dumped over a 4-foot bar. (I think?)

I was in no rush, so I was just talking with my friends at the same station. A girl (I knew her name but hadn't talked to her in years) walks infront of me, clenches my ass while she picks me up and carries me to the bar and throws me over.

Sounds hot. But her fingers pretty much penetrated me, and my ass certainly didn't feel comfortable. After a few minutes I realized that she had ripped up my shorts also. When I found that out I just sat at the bleachers and waited until the whole thing was over before going to the change room.
 
[quote name='eswat']Thank God I couldn't recall anything recently. But here's something from junior high.

During gym class we had this little jungle gym course that required "station captains" to help us get through the obstacles. The station captains were kids a grade higher than us. I got to one where I had to be picked up and thrown/dumped over a 4-foot bar. (I think?)

I was in no rush, so I was just talking with my friends at the same station. A girl (I knew her name but hadn't talked to her in years) walks infront of me, clenches my ass while she picks me up and carries me to the bar and throws me over.

Sounds hot. But her fingers pretty much penetrated me, and my ass certainly didn't feel comfortable. After a few minutes I realized that she had ripped up my shorts also. When I found that out I just sat at the bleachers and waited until the whole thing was over before going to the change room.[/quote]

That's not embarrassing, that's rape.
 
Between my senior prom and the after-prom party, I am at a friend's house and I start doing the can-can with a couple of girls (the prom dates of a couple of my friends); knee up, down, high kick *RIIIIIIP* my pants had a catastropic split (hey, I can kick really high for a fat guy). Thankfully my house was right on the way to the after-prom party so I was able to grab a pair of nice jeans, but to have that type of moment on the very night you're supposed to be perfectly presentable in front of a whole bunch of people did cause me to get beet red in the face. It was all good though; everbody (myself included) had a good laugh :)
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']
I was seriously tempted to pull over on a road that is policed but was afraid that I would be ticketed for taking a dump in public.[/quote]

I've taken 2 dumps in parking lots, within the past 5 years. One was similar to ITDEFX's story. It was around 2 something in the morning. I had left downtown Charlotte b/c the bars had closed and was heading down South Blvd. (a pretty main street). My friend was kinda passed out in the backseat. I felt the urge, but no one was open. I pulled into a parking lot, grabbed some napkins, and dropped trow. It was like soft-serve, but peanut butter colored. I wiped my butt a few times, threw the napkins beside the poop, took some pictures of it, got back in the car, dropped my friend off.

The second time, I was at a strip club, where I figured it'd be more hygienic to poop outside, than inside. I squat between some cars, napkins in hand of course, and pooped right there. Wiped my butt, threw the napkins down, joined my friends who were waiting at the front of my car. They had started talking to some guys who were just waiting in their car. I had some beers in my car. Since I had a slight buzz, I was more social than usual, and asked the guys if they wanted a beer too. I don't think anyone turns down free beer. We're drinking the beers, and I tell one guy, that I just took a shit back there. He had this look of disgust on his face. Then I said, that it'd be cleaner than taking a shit in there (the strip club). He thought about it for a second, and was like, that's true.

I have another kinda recent story about pooping in my pants, but I don't want to post it right now. It was within the past 2 years, which makes it worst than everyone else's since I was in my mid-20's and everyone else was a teenager at most.
 
[quote name='lukewin']I've taken 2 dumps in parking lots, within the past 5 years. One was similar to ITDEFX's story. It was around 2 something in the morning. I had left downtown Charlotte b/c the bars had closed and was heading down South Blvd. (a pretty main street). My friend was kinda passed out in the backseat. I felt the urge, but no one was open. I pulled into a parking lot, grabbed some napkins, and dropped trow. It was like soft-serve, but peanut butter colored. I wiped my butt a few times, threw the napkins beside the poop, took some pictures of it, got back in the car, dropped my friend off.

The second time, I was at a strip club, where I figured it'd be more hygienic to poop outside, than inside. I squat between some cars, napkins in hand of course, and pooped right there. Wiped my butt, threw the napkins down, joined my friends who were waiting at the front of my car. They had started talking to some guys who were just waiting in their car. I had some beers in my car. Since I had a slight buzz, I was more social than usual, and asked the guys if they wanted a beer too. I don't think anyone turns down free beer. We're drinking the beers, and I tell one guy, that I just took a shit back there. He had this look of disgust on his face. Then I said, that it'd be cleaner than taking a shit in there (the strip club). He thought about it for a second, and was like, that's true.

I have another kinda recent story about pooping in my pants, but I don't want to post it right now. It was within the past 2 years, which makes it worst than everyone else's since I was in my mid-20's and everyone else was a teenager at most.[/quote]
:hot:
 
I think I was 16 when it happened, but I was jogging with my dog around the area and I got the urge to poop. I stopped jogging, clenched my butt cheeks and waddled half way home before a unchained pitbull started charging me and the only thing I could do was hope my dog (an american albino pitbull) would defend me. The dog ended up getting a hold of my shorts while fighting with my dog and I ended up shitting all over myself. My briefs were kinda big, so poopy dripped down my leg into my shoes and I still had two more blocks to walk. :(

I still have the torn shorts, but the briefs and poopy shoes had to go.
 
[quote name='lukewin'] I wiped my butt a few times, threw the napkins beside the poop, took some pictures of it, got back in the car, dropped my friend off.
[/QUOTE]

pics or it didn't happen
 
Oh man... I have a few that come to mind. Here they are in no order.

One time, around age 17 or 18, i was at a friends house DDRing. We had been dancing for so long we lost track of time and how hungry we were. Living in a small town we had but one place to go; Whataburger. We drive over there and i just want the biggest burger they have. I go right up to the front and order a "Single, Double, Triple". The lady just looked at me like i was the dumbest person to ever grace her presence. I soon realized that they were all different burgers! I thought for the life of me that it was a special but it was just 1,2 or 3 meats. I still get laughed at for this.

One time when i was about 10 i was at my aunt's house for Thanksgiving. There was so much food and drink and my body could not hold all that i wanted to consume. I proceed to the bathroom and start taking a pee (the poop would follow shortly) but i kind of got distracted looking at some gay decorative soaps or something and lost control of Dr. Johnson and i pissed in my mouth. Yes that is how i know what pee tastes like, quit laughing at me.

Oh oh! Another time i was walking to science class, in middle school, and one of my friends was pissed at me because i said something assish to him and he walked in and kicked me so damn hard in the leg i went into, what i believe was, shock and passed out (dude it fucking hurt). I woke up in the storage room having broken part of our model skeleton. The cool thing about this was that i woke up feeling like i had slept for the night and I felt fully rested. I have never had that feeling since.

That is enough for now. Enjoy.
 
that 2nd story about peeing in your mouth doesn't even make sense.

you drank a bunch of soda, went to pee, peed in the toilet for a few seconds, then aimed straight up and pissed in your mouth? :x
 
[quote name='tiredfornow']that 2nd story about peeing in your mouth doesn't even make sense.

you drank a bunch of soda, went to pee, peed in the toilet for a few seconds, then aimed straight up and pissed in your mouth? :x[/quote]

Well if you want more details surely i can provide.

During that time i did not hold Dr. Johnson with my thumb, index and middle finger (as i do now). I held him like a cigarette between my index and middle finger. Not paying attention caused my fingers to slip aiming Dr. Johnson's lemonade into my mouth.

Eh, i guess it does not matter if you believe me. It is better if people don't believe that one.
 
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