J.R. - This is Good Ol’ J.R. alongside Mrs. Foley’s baby boy, THE MICK!
J.R. - The fans are on their feet in Hershey, PA - as much as they love chocolate, they love Jeff Hardy even more!
Mick - Jeff’s got a better seat than us, J.R.!
J.R. - We should tell somebody.
Mick - Last week, MVP may have gotten a little too personal talking about Jeff’s dog, Jack.
MVP - Jeff, last week, I tried to talk to you about your risks and how they affect the people around you. You will never be WWE Champion, and last week, you made the same old mistakes and cost yourself a shot at the WWE Title against HHH!
Mick - Look at all the bling around MVP’s neck.
J.R. - I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say “bling” before.
Jeff - Last week, you got real personal with me and I took it like a man - but if you ever mention my home, the fire or my dog again, I’ll prove to you what kind of man I am! (he twist of fates MVP)
Mick - I believe this is the first time I’ve ever seen such an expression of anger from Jeff Hardy.
J.R. - WAS IT ANGER OR WAS IT RAGE!?
(after Vickie sees Alicia Fox near her office)J.R. - What is the wedding planner still doing here!?
Foley - Tying up a few…loose ends, J.R.
Kennedy - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MAN WHO HAS EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD WAITING FOR THOSE THREE SIMPLE WORDS…. MISTERRRRRRRR (crowd says Kennnneddddddddddy)MISTTTTEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR (crowd says Kenneddyyyyy) KENNEDYYYY!
J.R. - Sounds like Kennedy’s leading the crowd on a pep rally.
J.R. - The prestigious U.S. championship, held by 11 WWE Hall of Famers, and Shelton’s perhaps the best athlete to ever hold the title.
Mick - I was hanging out with Kennedy at the Comic Con, and I got a hug from one of my favorite singers - Tina Michaels.
J.R. - Shelton, a former track and wrestling star in college.
Mick - Yes, but he might rely too much on his wrestling skills and not enough on the tenacity that has served him well over the past few weeks.
Kennedy (to Shelton mid-match) - KENNEDDYYY!!!!
Mick - Kennedy’s trying to get back to the level he was at when he won the MITB case last year - we haven’t seen that quite yet.
Mick - Kennedy’s also got an impressive list of former world and WWE Champions that Kennedy has beaten.
J.R. - Yes, he just needs that one big win again.
Mick - Very similar hairstyles being worn by Kennedy and the gold standard.
J.R. - Very interesting analogy.
Mick - That’s why they give you the big money, J.R.
J.R. - He who hesitates may get kicked in the patella.
J.R. - FROM SHOULDER TO SHOULDER AND PILLAR TO POST, Shelton now has the advantage.
J.R. - I thought it was going to be a hammerlock slam, ala the Four Horsemen in their day, but it was turned into a shoulder breaker - very innovative move from the Gold Standard.
(during an armbar)Mick - That’s a submission move, J.R.!
J.R. - No doubt.
J.R. - Kennedy came to SD to be a champion, no doubt. He’s been U.S. champion before, and he was a great one,.
J.R. - The United States champion, in a state of disbelief.
Chick - Shelton, what are your thoughts?
Shelton - I’m not gonna sit here and make excuses, but to tell you the truth, I’m suffering from an acute case of bronchitis and I’m just not feeling well.
J.R. - Last week, i said that Kendrick was a bit Pillman-esque with his intellect and swagger.
Kendrick - There’s been no attitude change - I’ve always been THE Brian Kendrick, and yet when I said I was the most intelligent superstar in WWE, I meant exactly that. I f went out and got a partner in London, and put on a phony smile, and it got my foot in the door. If you think I care about you , I don’t. I never have, and I never will. Of course, if anyone has a problem with that, you can take It up with my man Zeke!
J.R. - That retro jacket is… umm...
Mick - Those bedazzlers are big this year - In a recessing economy, you’ve gotta find the old Bedazzlers, J.R.
Mick - If Kendrick’s so smart, why hasn’t he opened a BBQ shop and written a best seller?
J.R. - Let’s not get on the wrong side of his man Zeke.
Mick - Look at the welts on the back of the Kendrick.
J.R. - The Kendrick just hit THE KENDRICK!
Mick - It’s good to see Singh back - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Mick - Tonight, we saw an OUTWARD DISPLAY OF AGGRESSION from Jeff Hardy!
J.R. - The Great Khali is a hero in India.
Mick - When he went back to India a few months ago, people stood for hours just to catch a glimpse of him!
Mick - J.R., you grew up watching Danny Hodge break apples in his hand, what kind of fruits can Khali crush with his hands?
J.R. - How about cinder blocks or bricks?
J.R. - The prince of risk, Jeff Hardy, has had no opportunity to get in the air tonight.
J.R. - It must feel like 20,000 men are pounding on Jeff Hardy when Khali hits him.
J.R. - Khali’s strength is almost at BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS!
Killings - I’m a free man again! And that’s the truth!
(Maria comes out)J.R. - LOOK WHO’S HERE - FINALLY!
Mick - I now know her theme by heart - I’ll tear your heart out…
Victoria (during a full nelson on Maria)- I GOT HER! I GOT HER!
Mick (chuckling) - She said she’s got her, J.R….
J.R. - Yup, I heard…
J.R. (after a Maria clothesline)- Near fall...wasn’t exactly a Stan Hansen lariat, but it wasn’t bad.
Mick- YOU GO GIRL!
J.R. - I asked Show what size suit he wears, he said it’s a double XXL long!
Mick - Off the rack?
J.R. - No!
Mick - I wear a triple X flannel, YEAH!
(as Domino is introduced)J.R. - You know Mick, I was an all-star domino player in high school.
Mick - AND I DOWNED MANY BOXES OF DOMINO’S PIZZA!
J.R. - Perhaps not a MENSA member is Mr. Domino, because if he was, he wouldn’t have made him angry.
J.R. - Hershey Park, PA - I SMELL CHOCOLATE!
Mick - I don’t think Undertaker will come out - maybe George W. Bush will - it could help his approval rating.
Edge - All week…all week I’ve been searching for some inner peace. I’ve been trying to…(fans boo) I’ve been trying to find some inner peace. My marriage is…going through a rough patch. Even more than that, in just over 2 weeks, I’ll be stepping into Hell in a Cell against the Undertaker! I’ve watched all of the footage, it was probably a mistake, as I’ve seen all the cruelty. I’ve seen the pain. The suffering. I’ve seen… THE UNDERTAKER! And… all week, every time I close my eyes, that’s all I see! But tonight, I’m finding some of that inner peace, because I surrounded myself with MY implements of destruction - TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS, AND YA SEE, I KNOW THESE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE! THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT HELPED ME FINISH THE UNDERTAKER IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND I FOUND THE PERSON, THE ONE PERSON THAT CAN HELP ME AGAINST THE UNDERTAKER… The person that will not only help survive the Cell, but help me THRIVE in it! The person who knows the Undertaker better than anyone else in history…my guest tonight… that person… that person is… MICK FOLEY! MICK! FOLEY! ON THE GUEST! COME ON MICK, PLEASE! PLEASE MICK, COME IN HERE! PLEASE!
Mick - Well, he did say please… All right, all right!
J.R. - This is unusual. Almost improper.
Edge - Mick, thanks for coming on…
Mick - I think you’re welcome.
Edge - Hear me out… I know we have history. A lot of it. But I’m a changed man! I’ve changed, and I know you can look past that history, because I now there’s something that burns inside of you that festers more than our past ever could. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve taken the liberty of having something made to remind you.
Trailer Guy - It was 10 years ago - 1998 - Austin 3:16 said he just whooped your (muted), and a group of degenerates attacked. But there was one moment that would be remembered in the history of MANKIND! It was a match that will live forever in infamy. And Mick Foley, the man behind the mask, was elevated to legendary status! A decade later, this question remains - will that one night be the undying legacy of the hardcore legend!? (crowd chants Foley)
Edge - Mick, that was ten years ago, and they haven’t forgotten! I know that your body has felt that match like it was yesterday. EVERY WAKING MOMENT, I KNOW YOUR BODY FEELS WHAT THE UNDERTAKER PUT YOU THROUGH! Even after all of that brutality, you walked away ON YOUR OWN! But Mick, Mick, I saw you walk the day before that match, and I’ve walked you try and walk properly every day SINCE that match and you CAN’T DO IT! THE UNDERTAKER DID THAT TO YOU! I know that fire burns inside, I see it in your eyes, Mick! And Mick, Mick, if you help me, you can excercie the demon of the Undertaker. You can get rid of all of that pain in your eyes. I SEE IT! If you help me, maybe all of that, maybe it’ll all just wash away.
Mick - You bring up some grat points - I never was the same after that cell match. There’s part of me that would LIKE to help you. It’s just that over the past several months, you’ve really hurt my…credibility, Edge. Because the one thing I have going for me is my word, and my bond with these fans! And for weeks, for months, FOR YEARS, in both the words I’ve spoken and written, I’ve said it loud and long - Edge is the greatest superstar in the WWE. (fans boo) Even when it hasn’t been popular to say. The problem is that unless the fans have a really long memory, they think you suck. Because they see an Edge who takes a shortcut, who plays the numbers game, who relies on his fianc… no, his wife. Edge, I won’t help you. I can’t help you. But I know the one person who can… EDGE! You need to look inside your heart and mind and find the Edge who made me say he was the greatest superstar in WWE! YOU NEED TO FIND THE EDGE WHO TOOK THE LETTERS TLC AND MADE THEM MEAN SOMETHING! THE EDGE WHO SMELLED HIS OWN FLESH BURNING AND DIDN’T MIND BECAUSE IT REMINDED HIM OF VICTORY! WE HAD THE GREATEST HARDCORE MATCH EVER AT WRESTLEMANIA 2 YEARS AGO! FIND THAT EDGE! IF YOU DO, J.R. AND I WILL GLADLY CALL WHAT COULD BE THE GREATEST, MOST VIOLENT MATCH IN WWE HISTORY! Find that Edge and bring him to Summerslam. Because if that Cell door shuts, and the Undertaker is across the ring from this, white tux wearing, teeter tot-using, down on his knees, “forgive me baby, I can’t live without your love” Edge, WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, YOU BRING THIS EDGE, AND THE UNDERTAKER WILL TEAR YOU APART! AM I UNDERSTOOD!? Am I understood?
Edge - I…I understand! (he hits Mick with the mic)
J.R. - EDGE HITS FOLEY IN THE FACE! THE BANG BANG BRINGS THE CROWD TO THEIR FEET!
J.R. - EDGE WITH A SPEAR THAT SENDS MICK’S HEAD INTO THE STAIRS!
J.R. - FROM THE LADDER, WITH THE CHAIR, THROUGH THE TABLE, WENT THE MORALLY CORRUPT EDGE!
Edge (before he leaps off the ladder onto Mick)- I UNDERSTAND!
J.R. - Ironically, this was the very Edge that Mick Foley was referencing here today.
. WWE is the worst I can recall it ever being. Is there any good wrestlers on the roster anymore? Oh yay John Cena, CM Punk 
. Now that they are going for a younger audience it's going to get even worse. The only time a match is ever *great* is at WM. Raw is terrible. Smackdown is complete garbage. I never understood the big deal about Edge. His feuds with Taker and Batista have been completely boring. ECW is....a travesty. TNA is a complete joke and should be shut down right away IMO. I'm just frustrated with the lack of anything good happening, and I don't want to spend money on ROH DVDs either. 
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