The "Nobody Watches TNA Wrestling" Wrestling Thread

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[quote name='pitfallharry219']Is that supposed to be Hogan's ring? He was inducted in 2005.[/QUOTE]


only pic I could find of one
 
Unless I'm completely stupid, why was there a need to call it a grudge match? Do they think we are stupid as an audience? If your writing is that bad you think the audience can't figure out that it's a grudge match, you got serious problems. Of course I could have misheard what the ring announcer said, but I'm pretty sure I didn't.

Mr. Anderson, Kurt Angle
Honestly not a super strong match, but entertaining enough. Angle got to return the favor of using the medal to open up the head. Kurt wins after Anderson taps out. They are building up a really good feud here, let's just hope they don't screw it up. I really enjoyed the promo at the end of the match cut by Anderson. He's always had the mic skills, this was good.

I love how Christy Hemme keeps almost laughing in people's faces during promos. She barely kept it together during that one with AJ.
 
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Is the crowd as bad as Congress is right now?

*rimshot* for nerds watching C-Span like me.

"The Band" is fucking *terrible*. Any reason they couldn't go with "The Order," "The Kliq/Klique/Clique," "The Pac/Pack/Paque (heh)," or any number of other names that aren't as terrible as "The Band"? That's taking one line they ripped off from...um, the Blues Brothers, I think (forgive me, movie nerds), using it appropriately in one instance, and taking it waaaaay too far afterwards.

Glimpsed over some DX results. Eh. PWTorch seemed to suggest Hall was in decent shape. Any truth to that? Homeboy has a penchant for gut-hidin' sweatshirts and hockey jerseys on Tee-Vee.
 
Yeah, the Blues Brothers thing was great back in the day but I agree they took too far in this case. I read that interview too, where Nash thought it was horrible. Honestly I didn't think Hall looked in all that good shape. Bloated as usual I thought. If anything he was sucking in his gut a bit, especially during the entrance. I guess they could be saying he was in decent shape for Scott Hall, which doesn't really say much.

I can't wait until the inevitable Flair jumping out of the wheelchair to do something. It will happen.
 
[quote name='Chronis']I might be wrong, by I think his name is meant to be broken up as "myke vermin," not "my kevermin"[/QUOTE]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I guess if I had placed the smiley in a different spot you'd have known I was playing around?
 
From PWTorch:

Chelsea wheeled Flair to ringside. Abyss grabbed him by the throat and dragged him into the ring. Hebner and then Abyss slipped on the edge of the big hole in the ring. Hogan sprayed Flair with whatever it was that Flair used against the ref earlier. Desmond Wolfe ran to the ring and got punched by Abyss, then Hulk, then Abyss, then Hulk in a comedy type of spot. Hogan then sprayed Wolfe, so he staggered around and then tripped backward over Flair. Flair then just dove into the hole. It was a Three Stooges routine as Hogan celebrated with Abyss.

WTF???? Seriously.....
 
[quote name='jupiterjones']From PWTorch:

Chelsea wheeled Flair to ringside. Abyss grabbed him by the throat and dragged him into the ring. Hebner and then Abyss slipped on the edge of the big hole in the ring. Hogan sprayed Flair with whatever it was that Flair used against the ref earlier. Desmond Wolfe ran to the ring and got punched by Abyss, then Hulk, then Abyss, then Hulk in a comedy type of spot. Hogan then sprayed Wolfe, so he staggered around and then tripped backward over Flair. Flair then just dove into the hole. It was a Three Stooges routine as Hogan celebrated with Abyss.

WTF???? Seriously.....[/QUOTE]
That just screams "Yakety Sax."
 
I wouldn't mind seeing a video with Yakity Sax over that. It would be highly entertaining. The only way that ending would be entertaining.
 
That PPV had the worst ending possible. Then, nobody actually lost a title and they did another stupid swerve that you could see from a mile away. I use to enjoy the fact that TNA was different but now they are just being silly with the storylines which makes me want to focus more on PWG & ROH than TNA or WWE.
 
[quote name='Matt Young']I actually liked the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Evenflow" ripoffs.[/QUOTE]

If you were sitting and watching with non-fans, themes like that were a perfect example of where - if they hadn't already - they'd look at you and give you a look like "what the hell is this corny shit?" They should have either ponied up for the originals (as if WCW hadn't wasted more money on things far more frivilous), or given them completely original themes. I still shake my head when I hear the beginning of that DDP theme. I can just see some hourly-paid studio musician sitting there while Hart (or whoever) comes in and says "Ok, just play Smells Like Teen Spirit, but REVERSE these two notes! It's going to be great!"
 
I have a question after reading all of the TNA stuff the last few pages...

I know Dixie Carter probably went for big name recognition getting Hogan and other old faces, but did they they ever consider Paul Heyman and giving him creative control?

Now I am not saying Heyman is the absolute thing to put TNA over the hump, but every wrestler signed by TNA in the last four years has failed to do anything other than take away what little stuff actually is good and works for TNA. It's clear that signing "big name" wrestlers hasn't changed a thing for them. Ratings haven't really changed much.

If there is one thing I believe about Heyman is that he can make a product that people give a damn about, even if it is only a niche product. That is something TNA is really lacking right now. There were two divisions that were actually worth a damn at one point, X-Division and the Women's Division, and they have been competely shat on over the last few years. The situation with Awesome Kong was an outright shame.

That being said, I don't know what Heyman is doing now and he may not even be interested, but all I know is that whatever Hogan's official title is, he's a wrestler, not anything else. You need someone who can create buzz behind the scenes because unless The Rock loses his mind and joins TNA, no other wrestler will make any difference whatsoever.
 
What is a "self-high-five"? That always went over my head because, like Cena's five knuckle shuffle, it sounds like a euphemism for beating off - well, in Cena's case, it *is* one.

Guile, TNA needs someone or multiple someones to make people care about TNA - they banked on the (bankrupt) idea that people hate WWE because of general support for underdogs, or because they hated big evil corporations (so they'd watch the oil-tycoon funded promotion instead, haha). They don't get that people don't give a damn what the company is, they just want a compelling product that treats the content and viewers with dignity and respect. WWE is slowly getting better at that with their WM build - man alive, I swear I haven't seen a better WWE video in years than the HBK/UT video (again, personal bias b/c of the Johnny Cash song they're using). They have had some watchable tv matches in recent months. The guest host idea is awful, and there's aspects of production that need to go - but the simply fact is that their television product is way better than TNA.

TNA has banked on two things:
1) TNA is edgier in that it is TV-13, so they show blood and say "ass" on the air
2) WWE is an evil corporation and everyone will automatically love us

Both are preposterous ideas and both blew up in TNA's faces. I'm truly at a loss for words when I try to describe a single thing that TNA has done well or properly since they went to Monday's on 1/4. I want them to do well - I'm still dumb enough to think one of these promotions will embrace "professional wrestling" again; but to be honest, WWE is winning that race at this point (the tortoise versus the other tortoise?).

I'm not so sure Heyman isn't interested; I haven't read anything, to be sure - but dude has his enemies something severe, so him being kept off the role call for 7 years is interesting to me. I know his detractors don't just hate him, they *fuckin'* hate him, like he's the worst person in the world. But the guy turned OVW into a solid weekly wrestling program after he replaced Jim Cornette (despite Cornette's vehement assertions to the contrary). He deserves a shot, at the very least, on a writing panel.
 
The situation with Hogan reminds me of MJ in the NBA right now. Both were great while being able to perform but on the business side they suck at it. I'm not saying that one day that it won't change for the better cause stranger things have happened but I wish they would both just sit back & let the folks that know what they are doing do their job.
 
Abysshurr.jpg
 
[quote name='cdeener']The situation with Hogan reminds me of MJ in the NBA right now. Both were great while being able to perform but on the business side they suck at it. I'm not saying that one day that it won't change for the better cause stranger things have happened but I wish they would both just sit back & let the folks that know what they are doing do their job.[/QUOTE]

How does Jordan suck at the business side of basketball? He's turned Charlotte into a playoff team since he took over basketball operations.
 
[quote name='pitfallharry219']How does Jordan suck at the business side of basketball? He's turned Charlotte into a playoff team since he took over basketball operations.[/QUOTE]


Because he drafted Kwame Brown #1 in Washington and traded Rip Hamilton who helped turn around the Pistons for Mashburn.
 
TNA already did their own knock-off of WCW's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" theme, and it was decent.

Designation X 2010 thoughts -

The X division gimmick matches on the PPV were good, but entirely too short. Neither match even went 15 minutes, and why bother even having number 1 contender matches when you can just walk into the company, like Shannon Moore, and get a title shot? Anderson-Angle was really good, but still not as good as Jarrett-Anderson was on Impact a couple months ago. Some cool visuals with Anderson and the mic being all bloody. You know, it's a shame they've run through about six months of angles for this feud in three months, because it'd be perfect as a semi-main event at Lockdown given how personal they've made the rivalry, instead, it'll just be another match on the card. The highlight of the Wolfpac stuff was the paint running out on Pac, Hall being in pretty good shape, Nash dying his hair, and the MIDI-Wolfpac theme. So basically everything but the actual match.

Flair was the fucking man tonight - his insane promo, wacky antics when Hogan had control of his wheelchair, everything he did was great. The main event was okay, I guess. Nothing really memorable about it except for the stupid as shit ending that included having the mat-cutting dude help pull AJ under the ring, and then having Wolfe trip over Flair to go into the hole, while Flair just rolled into it calmly. Given that ECW managed to do the whole "guy does big move, dudes fall through the mat" and make it look better in every possible way, this whole deal really made TNA look second-rate. Forget looking second-rate to WWE, they came off as second-rate to the original ECW run on a shoestring budget. Oh, and Abyss's new red and yellow polka dot gear somehow makes him look even dumber, although it was amusing to see them do the whole "big match" intro for a guy with stupid-looking red and yellow dots on his gear.

Screens -

What a perfect way to close out this disaster of a show.








AJ falls to the floor thanks to one of Santa's helpers


Quotes -
Taz - That’s Flair’s music.
Tenay - RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ON-CAMERA!? YOU SEE THIS!? THAT’S CHELSEA! SHE’S USUALLY WITH DESMOND WOLFE, AND WE’VE SEEN HIM ALIGNED WITH AJ AND FLAIR, SO I GUESS HE OFFERED HER SERVICES TO WHEEL HIM OUT THERE!
Flair - I’M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER! DON’T WOO ME, BOW DOWN TO ME! I AM RIC FLAIR! (fans woo) SIXTEEN TIMES THE GREATEST WORLD CHAMPION OF ALL-TIME, AND LOOK AT ME NOW! NOT FUNNY. NOT FUNNY! I HAVE FALLEN OFF OF CAGES, BEEN SLAMMED OFF OF LADDERS, I HAVE BEEN THROWN THROUGH TABLES, AND I CRASHED IN AN AIRPLANE, BUT I’VE NEVER BEEN IN A WHEELCHAIR! (fans woo) SHUT UP! YOU DO WHAT I TELL YA! LET’S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT - I DIDN’T COME TO TNA TO BE IMMOBILIZED, I CAME HERE FOR ACTION, AND RIGHT NOW, I’MNOT GETTING A LOT OF ACTION! LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU DON’T TALK TO ME, I TALK TO YOU! THE PEOPLE THAT ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ARE HOGAN AND THE ABYSS! I’LL WHEEL MY CHAIR DOWN THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS. YOU DON’T GET IT! - ASK YOUR MOTHER. TONIGHT, HOGAN AND THE ABYSS PAY A PRICE FOR DOING THIS TO THE NATURE BOY. I SAID ASK YOUR MOTHER, KID! TAKE ME BACK, CHELSEA! WOOOOOO!
Magns - From now on, it’s simply Magnus. I only need one name to beat all the one-trick ponies here in TNA!
Shelley - Generation Me, we’ve been in TNA longer than you’ve even owned your Hardy Boys starter kits! Penzer - MAX AND JEREMY BUCK, JERE-MATION ME!
(after Angle carves him up with the medal)Taz - I said before that we were gonna see the sick and sadistic side of Angle, and we is!
Taz - Chelsea’s even hot wheeling a guy to the ring!
(after AJ, Flair, and Wolfe fall into a hole)Taz - HOW BIG IS THAT HOLE!?
 
[quote name='WrexManor']Wrestlers on steroids.

sausage.jpg

mnm.jpg
[/QUOTE]

For a minute I thought that was Test instead of Mr. Kennedy in theat first pic.

[quote name='pitfallharry219']How does Jordan suck at the business side of basketball? He's turned Charlotte into a playoff team since he took over basketball operations.[/QUOTE]

Jordan has helped Charlotte contend for a playoff spot this year. Overall, he has not been that great at the business side. Bad draft picks and indifference to the business side of things has hurt him. He has done a decent job recently though with the Bobcats. They got rid of crap players and have a decent nucleus with Gerald Wallace, Stephen Jackson, and Raymond Felton.
 
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[quote name='pitfallharry219']How does Jordan suck at the business side of basketball? He's turned Charlotte into a playoff team since he took over basketball operations.[/QUOTE]

For example, the Wizards are still messed up cause of MJ's dealings in the front office.

He didn't make the Bobcats into anything that would be due to Larry Brown and most of the pieces being in place before he got there.
 
[quote name='cdeener']For example, the Wizards are still messed up cause of MJ's dealings in the front office.

He didn't make the Bobcats into anything that would be due to Larry Brown and most of the pieces being in place before he got there.[/QUOTE]

The Wizards were messed up long before Jordan got there.

Most of the pieces? Only Wallace and Felton were there before Jordan. How did the Bobcats do then? He brought in Diaw, Thomas, Jackson, and Augustin.

Enough of the basketball talk. TNA is a joke right now. Let's move forward with that.
 
[quote name='WrexManor']Wrestlers on steroids.

sausage.jpg

mnm.jpg
[/QUOTE]

I had forgotten how ridiculous Morrison looked pre-wellness violation.
 
A commercial is airing on Spike TV for tonight's iMPACT that says two TNA wrestlers will put their careers on the line in the main event. No wrestlers were shown so there's no word yet who will be participating in the match.
Click to expand...
Good lord. Would it kill TNA to actually promote something properly for a change? "Career" matches should mean SOMETHING. Stop giving away quality shit for FREE when no one is watching your show to begin with.

At this rate, it wouldn't surprise me at all if TNA folded in a year or two, and two's probably being generous.
 
[quote name='jp0213']Yeah, the yakity sax makes that much better. It matches up surprisingly well too.[/QUOTE]

Yakity Sax is the A1 sauce of music.
 
I would boo so loud if I were in the crowd during that main event.
 
On an X Division themed PPV, the X Division title match lasted less than 5 minutes and ended when Doug Williams hit Shannon Moore with a brick. Williams then cut a promo about how wrestling should be about catch-style holds.

I will laugh my ass off when Spike cancels Impact after a few months of sub-1.0 ratings.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pro-wrestling-torch

PWTorch livecast on until 6:30. Demo Man linked to it last Monday and I found it an enjoyable listen.[/QUOTE]

Wade Keller noticed that Brutus Magnus is simply going by "Magnus" in TNA right now.

There's a very frightening and sinister theory Keller has that underlies the subtle name change.

It is the fear that dare not speak its name (that is, when it has a name, ha-ha).
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Wade Keller noticed that Brutus Magnus is simply going by "Magnus" in TNA right now.

There's a very frightening and sinister theory Keller has that underlies the subtle name change.

It is the fear that dare not speak its name (that is, when it has a name, ha-ha).[/QUOTE]

booty+man.jpg
 
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