The Zack Ryder Wrestling Topic

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[quote name='GuilewasNK']On a random note, who does Jack Swagger's theme? I dig it.[/QUOTE]
Age Against The Machine..not a typo
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I marked out to that.

Summerfest is great. There's nothing better than those moments where celebrities show how little they know about the WWE product on WWE programming. Almost as good as Burt Reynolds announcing at that one wrestlemania, where he couldn't even read off the cards he was handed.[/QUOTE]

That's part of why I liked Shaq in the role last week. He is an actual wrestling fan and it showed.
 
What was the point of that match? RAW's booking hurts my fucking brain.
 
[quote name='moonknight25']That asian dude is going to get raped backstage for being a dumbass and killing that segment![/QUOTE]

I hope he does. That was way too awkward.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']That's part of why I liked Shaq in the role last week. He is an actual wrestling fan and it showed.[/QUOTE]

Ayup.

The big difference, clearly, is $. WWE is clearly getting some ducats for putting on a guest who has something to promote. Which means more segments where "Summerfest" is promoted, and fewer where you have a genuine fan running things.

You know, it took me longer to write a fifteen word email, attach a file, and send it, than it did for Swagger to pin Bourne. I'm going back to playing Dead Rising. John Cusack's fifth wheel and monday night raw can take a hike for the evening.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I'd like to see King Kong Bundy as host next week.[/QUOTE]

What inspired this thought?

EDIT: "IT WAS ON YOUTUBE!"
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I'd like to see King Kong Bundy as host next week.[/QUOTE]
He doesn't have a movie to promote.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']What inspired this thought?[/QUOTE]

I was reading his Wikipedia the other day and it mentioned he wasn't in the WWE Hall of Fame for some reason and I was thinking it would be cool to see him in some capacity on TV again. Last time I remember seeing him in anything was Married With Children years ago.
 
That Asian guy needs to get pile driven onto some cement. The fuck is this shit?
 
I don't know who that asian guy is....but if i have to suffer through another segment, it's onto 1vs 100 or marvel vs capcom 2....
 
Summerfest.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Somebody smack some sense into Vince fast.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']
EDIT: "IT WAS ON YOUTUBE!"[/QUOTE]

I noticed that comment too. I guess WWE isn't going to request WWE vids be taken down anymore. :lol:
 
WWE had some nice new photos of Beth on her Diva site.

Is she pregnant or not? If she is she shouldn't be in the ring for any reason IMO.
 
i was in the kitchen....i wish someone would gif it....
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I noticed that comment too. I guess WWE isn't going to request WWE vids be taken down anymore. :lol:[/QUOTE]

I was thinking more in terms of the fact that everything recorded ever is on youtube.

Aside from porn, what, really now, have you never been able to find on youtube?

OF COURSE IT'S ON YOUTUBE MICHAEL COLE. IT'S fuckING YOUTUBE.
 
Did that movie guy just say "Charro"?

EDIT: He definitely did. King just said it, and he probably said it because he was thinking about Jeremy Pivvet saying it.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']Piven's theme is Public Enemy's Can't Truss It? Talk about not seeing that coming.

Summerfest is going to be awesome. Not as awesome as King of the Thing and the Royal Fumble though.[/QUOTE]

wwe films brings you their first rated xxxx movie


Royal fumble in the shower (who has the soap)


LOL
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']Did anyone else burst into hysterical laughter upon seeing Mark Henry?[/QUOTE]
No.
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']Did anyone else burst into hysterical laughter upon seeing Mark Henry?[/QUOTE]

He looked like a Marvel Ultimate version of Juggernaut.
 
[quote name='moonknight25']Hopefully, he hit his head and dies tommorrow from a blod clot.....[/QUOTE]

Nah, too much.

Although, the negative karma he built up for sucking culminated in that last bump.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']So Miz is off RAW. Is he getting released? Or is he going to go to Smackdown or ECW?[/QUOTE]

Probably Smackdown. They said he would not be a part of Summerslam and leave Raw if he lost.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']So Miz is off RAW. Is he getting released? Or is he going to go to Smackdown or ECW?[/QUOTE]

they specified missing summerslam and being off raw... id guess its a suspension
 
Good lord was that a horrid show. Piven added nothing, the nonstop movie shilling made me want to see it less, and Dr. Ken's act was way too hit or miss. There were no really good matches, and the handicap match somehow buried Legacy even deeper, as HHH did the big fake WOW THAT SURE DID HURT (wink wink) promo, then buried Batista and Flair, and then came off like a dick when he talked to Michaels. What am I supposed to like about this guy that makes him a face again?

The main event saw Cena beat Miz yet again - so I guess they've officially given up on Miz and he'll be sent to either SD or ECW after this. Can't blame him for this, he worked hard, gave the best promos of his career, and was just unable to get over as a major deal because of how poorly they booked him. The show-closing deal was certainly memorable due to Dr. Ken hitting his head hard on the floor, but nothing aside from that and Mark Henry appearing in a little green hat was all that memorable. WWE came off as so out of touch with this decade with the whole "Charo" thing - her biggest fame was DECADES AGO and the most recent thing she's done was about a decade ago being a B-level person on the fucking Hollywood Squares.

Show-Kofi was fine, and I liked that they didn't have Kofi get killed here - he was actually competitive at points AND got a near-fall. The finish was a good way to save face for him and have Show not lose before the PPV. The post-match deal with Show and Jericho with Jericho's crossing his arms smugly ruled, as did his commentary.

Screens -




Quotes -
Miz - Piven, are you having fun with your little pimp? So you’re enjoying making a mockery of this show?
Piven - We’re having a good time.
Miz - Like you, I’m an acclaimed TV star as well.
Piven - I’m sorry, you slayed Dr. Ken. Is it lame-iz?
Miz - THE MIZ!
Piven - Well, we’re actors, and we’re promoting the Goods. Before you got here, you were on a reality show and got drunk with adult beverages and fell asleep in a hot tub. I’m looking into your eyes and I call tell you 1,000% that you don’t have THE GOODS!
Cena - Doc, thanks for the scrip - the rash has cleared up nice. This rematch could happen - last week, I beat him in 2 minutes. The WWE Universe sees that the Miz isn’t really all that good. On top of that, he’s got a face for radio. He’s probably looking at us right now… it’s pathetic, isn’t it. In the age of downloading movies on your cell phone and baking a turkey in a half-hour, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS INTERESTING! Years from now, when cars fly and cats and dogs speak English, they will remember that Jeremy Piven, on Raw, DELIVERED THE GOODS!
Piven - If you lose, you’ll be banned from SummerFEST!
Cena - Summerslam is what you mean.
Piven - And Summerfest, whatever that is! AND YOU’LL BE BANNED FROM THE STAPLES CENTER! And YOU’RE BANNED FROM WWE RAW FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!
King - Sometimes I think this size difference is overrated - the whales are in danger, but the ants are doing just fine!
Cole - LAST WEEK’S COLOSSAL CONFRONTATION WAS EVERYWHERE! ESPN…ENTERTAINMENT SHOWS…EVEN ON YOUTUBE!
Piven - Forget about being called the Fat Show on Youtube - you’re just puffy. Husky.
Dr. Ken - Ladies, get in my Mercedes!
Cole - SMART, SEXY, AND POWERFUL - THE WWE DIVAS ARE IN ACTION NEXT!
Cole - Piven stars in the Goods - Live Hard, Dell Hard!
King - DIVA TAG ACTION!
Cole - SMART, SEXY, AND POWERFUL!
King - I’ve got a good catchphrase - a diva a day keeps the doctor away.
Cole - Sounds like you want to sew your wild oats.
King - My oats have turned sour.
King - You know the look a diva gives you when they want you?
Cole -W HAT!? NO!?
King - Me either - that’s why I wanted to know what it looked like if I got it.
King - I hope Jillian doesn’t have a busted lip - that would affuct her singing.
King - If there’s any one man who can beat two, it’s HHH.
King - I understand that DiBiase and Rhodes have been preparing, literally, for this match all week!
Cole - VINTAGE HIGH KNEE BY HHH!
(after taking both of Legacy’s finishers)HHH - OWWWW! All right, that hurt… That did not go as I planned…you know, ah! I don’t get this. I mean, Is it just that these guys are that good…(fans boo) Maybe they’re too much for me. I used to be good at this gang warfare stuff, I beat up everyone. Maybe I should start another group. Or bring one back… (fans go crazy) MAYBE I BRING BACK EVOLUTION! (fans cheer and boo) Nah, just as I’m thinking about it, that won’t work - Randy’s a jerk, Batista’s hurt all the time, and Flair’s signing autographs at the VFW (fans boo) How about I make just one phone call…Maybe I make ONE PHONE CALL and If you’re not down with that, then I’ve got two words for ya!
King - One…PHONE CALL!
Piven - You’ve had bad luck with the Horngobbler, right?
Cole - Chavo’s had a bad month - he’s 0 and 4 against Hornswoggle.
Cole - THAT’S THE BIGGEST LEPRECAUN I’VE EVER SEEN!
King - Imagine finding a pot of gold at the end of his rainbow? IMAGINE HOW BIG IT WOULD BE!
Cole - Markswoggle - the World’s Strongest Leprechaun!
(to Ken and Piven)Orton - If I could kick Vince McMahon in the skull, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WOULD HESITATE TO DO THE SAME THING AGAINST YOU!
Cole - Did you get tyour WWE Super Big Gulp cup yet?
King - Yeah, I got Kelly Kelly on the front!
Cole - I GOT CENA!
King - Good for you…
Jericho - THE BIG SHOW IS A DESTROYER! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS MAN! He just DDTd his foot!
(on the phone)HHH - You’re what!? I didn’t think you did jobs!
Cole - Next week, Raw’s in Calgary, and It will be hosted by…SGT. SLAUGHTER!
Cole - CENA! VINTAGE RUNNING SHOULDER!
Cole - Bye bye, Miz!
(after Cena tosses Dr. Ken over the top and his head sickly hit’s the floorCole - CENA JUST TOSSED THE GOODS ALL OVER ORTON’S ENTOURAGE!
 
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