Uh Oh, It's The Big O Wrestling Thread

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Well played, HydroX. Also, Fatality, do you always post things that go with your avatar or is it just one hell of a coincidence?

Back to the topic on hand, Brooke getting paid to (somehow) develop female talent is just another notch in the asinine crap that goes on in TNA and the pro wrestling business at large.
 
Funny about TNA doing that. Wasn't it just yesterday I read Scott Steiner was being called a liar (by both Hulk and Brooke) and had TNA lawyers sic'd on him for saying TNA signed Brooke Hogan?

Jeeeesus, Brooke Hogan evaluating talent, and Garrett Bischoff as the future of the business. You know, there truly is something to be said for TNA's ability to be even dumber than you think they could possibly be.
 
[quote name='HydroX']Kurt Angle in a recent interview:



Discuss.[/QUOTE]


He had a 4 star match with Shane McMahon, who isn't even a real wrestler. (street fight from KOTR 2001) That's not even touching the rest of his 2001 with AUstin, Rock, Jericho, et al. or anything he's ever done with Benoit, with Royal Rumble 2003 being the best example. That doesn't include his Shawn Michaels series, the absolutely amazing match he had with Taker at a throwaway show at No Way Out in 2006, the Lesnar matches, the smackdown six work with Edge Rey and the Guerros in 2002, etc. I think I've made my point. I haven't even seen much of his TNA stuff. Wrestling quality wise? probably top 5 of all time. As far as "Sports Entertainer"? Not sure where I'd put him in that list, as plenty of wrestlers are more "iconic" than he is (Hogan, Flair, Undertaker, Rock, AUstin,)
 
About Angle: Everyone loves him and he knows that. So I can't say it's "arrogance." Also, if he's still competing at a high level and he enjoys what he does, why retire? If he was one of those old guys touring the indies year round, maybe that's too much. But he has a stable job at the (sadly) #2 wrestling promotion in the country.
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Yeah that nWo thing really sucked. It didn't do anything.[/QUOTE]
Indeed. Incuding Savage and Dibiase on that list was also dumb. Savage won the world title several times and was a top tier guy for essentially his entire run in WCW (be it his Hogan-buddy phase, being Hogan's adversary during the early NWO, feuding with DDP while in the NWO, or feuding with Nash over the title while smacking around women during the Team Madness run). And while Dibiase didn't "do much," his in ring career was over anyway by that point so I'm not sure what you could expect out of him.
 
Ted could've done more as a manager or commentator, so in that sense, yeah he didn't do much, but like a lot of folks, he signed for the money. Somewhat ironic given his WWF gimmick, but smart since he could command a high price without having to wrestle. Brooke Hogan in TNA could be a disaster. It'll almost certainly be bad given how bad she's heckled JUST being in the crowd. SIT DOWN BROOKE, CLAP CLAP CLAP will be fun to hear live. That move is a somewhat risky one for them, but at least they're openly just doing it for the summer as opposed to WWE saying Raw is permanently moving to three hours. As if having needless three hour Raws every so often wasn't bad enough, now they'll be subjecting folks to it on a weekly basis. At least the new NXT concept is somewhat exciting.
 
Gonna quickly run down a few things I've read on the last two pages.

1. My opinion: I agree with Angle. He is one of the best wrasslers in the history of the business. Unfortunately, aside from his feud with Samoa Joe, I think his TNA run has tarnished his career. On a related note: Did anyone believe Angle would achieve his Olympic aspirations at the age of 43? I hope King Mo's intriguing Bellator-TNA deal doesn't lead to Angle trying his hand at MMA. I fear he'd get himself seriously hurt. But yeah, his WWE run is gold.

2. I'm a fan of Mach's "Team Madness" run in WCW. This may be blasphemous, but the Team Madness music is my favorite music for Macho Man. However, I didn't like his nWo Wolfpac stint. He and Sting seemed really out of place in that faction.

3. Total Nonstop Asshats.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']TNA is so bad even JaytheGamefan doesn't review it anymore.[/QUOTE]

Actually, Impact was pretty awesome. Just haven't gotten around to posting my review of it here yet.

Edit - Here we go -
Kinda meh show opening video compared to the usual ones, but I liked that it showed Bully tapping to Aries. I loved Roode's promo because he put himself over, his match at the PPV, and RVD as well. Roode saying he'll have the biggest bash ever is just setting things up for failure since TNA doesn't even have the budget for the average NXT skit let alone THE BIGGEST BASH EVER. Loved him listing his rider, including golden confetti, from Canada, Hogan asking for it, and Roode telling him to hold on cuz he had a few more. This led to Hogan putting Roode over huge on the mic, saying that everyone wanted a shot at him, leading to the whole roster, including the X Champ Aries, coming out as potential foes. This ruled. Then he announced four matches tonight, including Joe-Angle, to determine potential foes for next week. This was an efficient use of 12 minutes and was really good stuff. They hyped up the Impact Summer Bash starting on the 31st, so at least they're pimping that pretty well now. They replayed the return of Abyss and showed the reactions from Roode and RVD - great, made it seem important.

Kinda odd to have Bully Ray in a one on one qualifier for the world title instead of Aries. RVD came out doing a great Sakuraba impression all taped up. I loved Bully doing a bunch of holds to hurt the taped-up knee of RVD more. They hyped up A BIG SURPRISE for 5/31. If it's just the Brooke signing, then they'd be idiots for hyping it like that period, let alone announcing it ahead of time. Glad to see the Bubba Cutter win for Bully. They aired a brief video package for King Mo, using what appeared to be Sengoku footage to do so. I loved Bully's promo knocking the Kardashians leading to Joseph Park coming in, saying he was sorry, and also saying that Bully was the fire, leading to more Bully rage. They cut to Tenay and Taz on a set that at least resembles their Impact Zone booth, but shot so you can't see that it's just a studio set.

Didn't like them airing so much of the MMA Uncensored Live deal, including Craig saying that PRO WRESTLING ISN'T THE REAL DEAL. Edit that shit OFF OF YOUR OWN SHOW. Strange disconnect between that and Gail and Madison having a wacky meeting of bitching about stuff, then Velvet and Brooke came in to act poorly and brag about winning. The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived (and won at the PPV) got a shot in the battle royal...well, that's better than nothing. GARETT BISCHOFF, ODB, and EY were in this thing. Wow. ODB, EY, and Crimson were eliminated at the same time. Crimson actually sold for ODB. They hyped up Madison's crush on someone...so I guess Morrison's coming in at the 5/31 show. Loved Tenay saying they were down to the final five...if his math was correct. I would really hope that five wouldn't be too great a number of things for Tenay to keep track of. Devon got eliminated by Garett, who I guess is the next TV Champion. Loved Aries and AJ getting a little showdown - I hope they have a match at Destination X. Gunner helped Bully by getting rid of Aries, who then got tossed by AJ. Very good ending stuff with Aries and AJ. Glad to see AJ in the world title mix. Odd to have it also be while he's mired in the mid-card. They said they'd come back with AJ after the break, which makes sense given that they hyped him speaking at some point, and it makes sense to do post-match promos as well.

Loved the AJ/Angle/Kaz/Daniels video package. Made the PPV match seem kinda epic. Loved AJ calling out Roode in his promo, then trying to address the pics only to be interrupted by the tag champs. Loved Daniels showing a video of AJ and Dixie on his iPad step-by-step. Very handy tutorial on not only iPad usage, but also life-ruining. LOLed at Taz saying that it was their fault when AJ and Dixie are doing this stuff. Great recap of the Joe-Angle Turning Point '06 match, leading to an Angle-Joe brawl backstage. I also liked Joe saying that the world title is his. Anderson watching pics of the ending on...I think a Kindle Fire was amusing because he was subdued, but also looked chubby due to how he was sitting. Outside of visual humor, this was good stuff. Anderson wasn't annoying, and brought up giving Jeff another chance even though he was given the W on the PPV.

Nice Slammiversary video with Dixie and some local dude in the town it's at reminded me of the hokey Starrcade '83 bidding war video on the first Flair DVD set. Loved them using AJ's X Title win over Daniels to not only show the history of the promotion, but also some of that duo's history as well. Very efficient use of footage there that also made their current feud seem like more than just a battle of mid-carders. LOLed at Taz and Tenay talking about Anderson at Tribeca hyping up a movie with him, Dixie, and Matt Morgan in it. The execution was hilarious, but it really did help TNA seem like a respectable company due to having involvement in something that is on a small scale, but also probably pretty good. Anderson-Hardy was fine, and they went into overdrive hyping up the 5/31 show's time slot change and BIG SURPRISE! Hardy hit a real swank slingshot dropkick on Anderson. Great finishing sequence here with Anderson countering the Twist of Fate with the Finlay Roll, only to get crucifixed for the win. I liked that more than the PPV match. Anderson and Hardy hugged, which should've been brought up as a major showing of sportsmanship, but was instead just shown for a few frames while they went through what was left on the show. Not perfect there, but still better than Anderson being an asshole or having him just turn on Jeff.

Loved the Angle-Joe Lockdown '08 video, but their cropping leaves a lot to be desired. Brooke's gear looks good, and her robe/vest thing is nice, but defines Major League Generic. Velvet used an amusing thing resembling a small package at one point. They did a hilarious half-crab/dragon sleeper at the same time deal, while I fan held up a GAIL IS A NINJA sign. They did another wacky three-person spot with a cradle that looked ridiculous. I think they should've done what the Rockers did and tried these things out with action figures first. Loved Gail winning after Velvet's finisher, mainly because she gave her a wedgie afterwards, then pinned Brooke in a lewd manner. Yet another awesome TNA history video aired, including the rana off the cage, Angle and Flair's debut. This really made it seem like the company went from relatively nothing to being THE biggest deal in wrestling. Whether it's true or not, at least they're telling that story now. This absolutely made you want to see Slammiversary just because it's the tenth anniversary show.

Joe-Angle got to follow this and man did it ever feel like a return to form for TNA. Loved Tenay talking about Joe's 18 month undefeated streak being stopped by Angle. If there was a way to get Joe back over as a main event-level guy in TNA legit, tonight's treatment of him was it. The crowd was really hot for Joe. They normally are to some degree, but tonight, they really seemed happy to see him back in the main event of Impact. He really did redeem himself in his tag role with Magnus, and they helped themselves out a lot because it really did make you forget about the shitty booking of him for years by the company. Match was moving at a good clip until Roode came out. Really lame MMA Uncensored Live "comedy" commercial happened. Roode was pretty good on commentary and said that no matter who won, NO ONE WOULD STOP HIM FROM BECOMING THE LONGEST-REIGNING CHAMPION IN TNA HISTORY and then he said he beat half the guys he COULD face, and ran down a list of the others he beat too.

Great deal there and Roode is really good at putting over the world title as being THE most important thing in the world. Joe and Angle worked this as best as they could given their age and injuries since their last run together, but it seemed like the best match that they could possibly have now and was pretty damn good. It was sad to see Joe not go for the jumping corner kick, and instead turning it into more of a Cro Cop high kick instead. I liked Roode going beyond calling it as a heel, but also calling it like a commentator normally would and putting over what each guy was doing well. Nice finish with Angle winning off a cradle - it was a good one, and perfectly put both Joe and Angle over. I really liked that Roode was upset about Angle, but DID NOT jump him, and instead, just went up to the ramp and got into a staredown with all 4 guys he could face. Going into the show, I wasn't really hyped too much because it's been such a big news day, but this show made me forget about all of it and was an awesome show overall. Way, way, way better show than Raw and SD, and I dig the new show-ending 10 Years of TNA graphic.

Screens -







Not pictured - whale
















 
[quote name='Chase']Gonna quickly run down a few things I've read on the last two pages.

1. My opinion: I agree with Angle. He is one of the best wrasslers in the history of the business. Unfortunately, aside from his feud with Samoa Joe, I think his TNA run has tarnished his career. On a related note: Did anyone believe Angle would achieve his Olympic aspirations at the age of 43? I hope King Mo's intriguing Bellator-TNA deal doesn't lead to Angle trying his hand at MMA. I fear he'd get himself seriously hurt. But yeah, his WWE run is gold.[/quote]
I don't know why, but I never liked Angle. Maybe it's that I prefer the sports entertainment variety of wrestling as opposed to his technical/amateur style.
2. I'm a fan of Mach's "Team Madness" run in WCW. This may be blasphemous, but the Team Madness music is my favorite music for Macho Man. However, I didn't like his nWo Wolfpac stint. He and Sting seemed really out of place in that faction.
Team Madness was one of the decent parts of his run in WCW, but I too thought he and Sting(and half the guys on either of the two main factions of the nWo) seemed like they were just thrown into there to try to keep that angle alive.

By the way, I just realized that in two days it will have been one year since Macho passed.:whistle2:#
 
Judging by the upcoming NXT spoilers, it seems like I'll finally be watching wrestling on a regular basis again.
 
[quote name='JJSP']Judging by the upcoming NXT spoilers, it seems like I'll finally be watching wrestling on a regular basis again.[/QUOTE]

Hmmmmmm. Well, since it appears to be, conceptually, WWE developmental tv programming, yeah. Also, if they keep Jim Ross and William Regal as the announce team, how could you not watch?

[quote name='Chase']2. I'm a fan of Mach's "Team Madness" run in WCW. This may be blasphemous, but the Team Madness music is my favorite music for Macho Man. However, I didn't like his nWo Wolfpac stint. He and Sting seemed really out of place in that faction.[/QUOTE]

I agree about Team Madness. There really is (and always has been) this view that "not-WWE career" = "less than." Angle had great matches in TNA; how many "WWE guys" (Jericho, Benoit, Mysterio) had a far better *wrestling* career in WCW? We can't say Booker T was better in WWE; we sure as hell can't say that about DDP, or Goldberg, or Dusty Rhodes.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that WWF/E always branded themselves as the #1 wrestling company in the world - for our whole lives. And for some guys (Warrior, Hogan, Cena, Austin) that is undoubtedly true. But we reify the reality of that when we diminish what guys did outside of WWF/E in their careers. Rick Rude was a world champion outside of WWF, had great matches. WWF took the legendary Dusty Rhodes and embarrassed him with polka dots (after already mocking him via Virgil); they took Terry Funk and gave him a fake brother in a "Lone Ranger" mask (not to mention they changed the name of Dory Funk, as if nobody knew who he was).

WWE is just another wrestling company - but they have the money to put into production value that so often fools us into thinking they're the "best" company out there - a qualitative measure by any means. But when we act like that is true, we're just aping their corporate branding strategy. We're unpaid advertising every time we act like someone's WCW career stunk and their WWF career was dazzling and brilliant. Let's stop pretending that WCW stunk, or WWF didn't mishandle guys for their entire careers. Neither are exclusively true, yet both are true. WCW is dead because they mismanaged their finances, not because their wrestling product was worse.
 
[quote name='mykevermin'] Angle had great matches in TNA; .[/QUOTE]

Can you name some? (serious request. I haven't seen any of his TNA work.)
 
I bet the first hour every week will just be recap and hype, then they'll go live for two hours.

I can't imagine them airing three hours of actual content every Monday night, but as mentioned before, if it was three hours of actual wrestling, it'd be awesome.
 
The Dean Malenko - Rey Jr opening match of the '96 Halloween Havoc was pretty damn great. I miss seeing that kind of fast paced wrestling.
 
Wow. Look what theme WWE is using for Michael Cole. One of the few themes that was never released in full.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSpQtqI0HJs

The one theme I've always wanted is Cade/Murdoch's first theme. They only used it once (and used it for all of their promos prior to debuting). I wish I had a tape recorder with me in the arena that night - there was no crowd reaction for them at all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMTRLjRAOmc
 
John Cena’s wife Elizabeth Cena is apparently refusing to let her husband file for divorce, according to a new report on TMZ.com. Reports suggest that she’s been asking a judge to throw out the divorce papers.

Elizabeth Cena filed legal docs in Florida, claiming that John's recent divorce petition is riddled with errors and should be dismissed.

Elizabeth states that John inaccurately refers to her by her maiden name (Huberdeau) instead of her legal name (Cena). Elizabeth’s case on Cena is he fails to bring "a proper dissolution of marriage action" against her.

Elizabeth also claims John failed to attach the prenup he references in his initial divorce filing. A copy of which must be attached in order for the filing to be valid.

John is also claiming that there's no marital property, but Elizabeth insists there is and wants her share.

This bitch.
 
[quote name='JJSP']Judging by the upcoming NXT spoilers, it seems like I'll finally be watching wrestling on a regular basis again.[/QUOTE]

I just read the upcoming 3 weeks. I'm pretty shocked. I'll definitely be giving this show a chance again. Having what should be a good commentary team is the icing.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']This bitch.[/QUOTE]

To be fair, its possible some of those things, technicalities what have you, really do matter. Legal filings have to be precise. No "close enough" half assing i

However I'd probably lay the blame on Cena's attorneys rather than Cena. If he hired "experienced" divorce attorneys that filed with those errors, he should fire them.

If he filed by himself, he needs to hire attorneys.
 
I don't know why, but I never liked Angle. Maybe it's that I prefer the sports entertainment variety of wrestling as opposed to his technical/amateur style.

Odd that you'd use this is as a reason for not liking Kurt Angle, when I think the reason I didn't like him was because he was too sports-entertainment. You can't pass someone off as an amazing Olympic athlete and technical wrestler when all of his big matches involve contrived high spots.
 
AOL chat with Vince McMahon:

WWFBBANKS: Folks....Mr. McMahon is here! We will begining in a moment...Send your questions in for Mr. McMahon! Welcome Mr. McMahon!

WWFLive2: HELLO EVERYBODY, GOT A CUP OF COFFEE IN MY HAND GETTING READY TO TRAIN IN AN HOUR, LET'S DO IT!

Question: Who would you like to see represent the WWF as their Champion?
WWFLive2: Bob Backlund, however, Mr. Backlund is too old.

Question: Is Sid coming back?
WWFLive2: I hope not.

Question: Vince, what kind of working relationship, if any, do you have with Paul Heyman of ECW?
WWFLive2: I hear from Paul approximately once every three months when he wants something. That's the extent of the relationship although, on occasion, I want something from him too.

Question: What next big talent might be coming to WWF. Is Ric Flair on his way?
WWFLive2: If I told you the next big talent who was to arrive on the scene, I would spoil the surprise, however, it's no secret that I would like for Mr. Flair to be in WWF ranks, only however, when he is legally clear to do so.

Question: Why is RAW taped week after week?
WWFLive2: RAW is live at least twice per month, soon to be more.

Question: Vinnie Mac, what are your concens now that the warrior has joined wcw?
WWFLive2: None! Whose left that wcw can take? Bruno Sammartino?

Question: Mr. McMahon, Are you and Bret Hart in Cahoots against WCW?
WWFLive2: Bret is my secret agent, however, not a very good
one!

Question: Mr. McMahon, over the past two years in which WCW peaked (probably permanently), how sure were you that your new "direction" of the WWF would reclaim it's rightful throne?
WWFLive2: I always feel that creativity coupled with LadyLuck and a very strong work ethic will eventually overcome. Despite overwhelming odds and predatory practices from Ted Turner.

Question: Vince, You must realize that many young children idolize the wrestlers of the WWF. I was wondering if you were at all concerned what the kids were picking up from the middle fingers and sex references from the wrestlers??
WWFLive2: It's the 90's! The WWF is only reflecting what is contemporary in today's society I dare say there are a great deal more middle fingers and sexual references in everyone's life then are portrayed in the WWF. Nonetheless, it is every parents discretion as to whether populace watch the WWF or any other TV program on the air.

Question: What are your thoughts on Hawk and his appearance of being drunk?
WWFLive2: Perhaps Hawk should visit Betty Ford.

Question: Vince you need to further improve your light weight division.....the belt seems almost meaningless. How will you improve this?
WWFLive2: Yokozuna is on a diet! Perhaps an influx of Ethiopian talent would be appropriate

Question: Vince, what is your true opinion on Mick Foley? Don't you think he deserves at least a title shot after all he's done to himself for the WWF?
WWFLive2: Mick Foley is one of the most extraordinary human beings on the face of the planet. But sometimes people don't get what they deserve. Although in Mick's case, he might.

Question: Mr. McMahon who in your opinion has the most talent in the WWF?
WWFLive2: Vince McMahon

Question: Where is the patriot?
WWFLive2: The Patriot is where all old patriots go, probably in a VFW home somewhere in South Carolina.

Question: Are you interested in Chris Jericho?
WWFLive2: I'm interested in any young aggressive performer who has the desire to excel.

Question: Mr. McMahon who is your favorite wrestler (active) AND WHY
WWFLive2: George the Animal Steele still wrestles for the independents. Why, because he is older than I am, I admire that.

Question: Vince, are you a fan of South Park? Will we see Golga on there?
WWFLive2: I love South Park! Chef and Cartman are my two favorite characters.

Question: Do you plan on signing randy savage when his contract expires?
WWFLive2: In the year 2032, that might be a little late.

Question: Do you respect Eric Bishoff at all? If so why? If not why?
WWFLive2: As far as a TV performer is concerned, I think he's pretty good, but, I don't know the man personally, I really can't comment.

Question: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON TONY SCHIAVONES COMMENTATING TWO WEEKS AGO WHERE HE INSULTED YOUR MAIN EVENT CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT NITRO?
WWFLive2: Tony only does what he's told to do.

Question: Will we ever see Bret in the WWF again and have you spoke to him since?
WWFLive2: He might return one day to the WWF, but not at the rate that his skill is deteriorating in WCW.

Question: Vince, why didn't you show at the WCW PPV to fight Eric Bischoff?
WWFLive2: I sent Mr. Bishoff a letter indicating that any parking lot in any city in America would be a suitable location for me to meet him. Rather than me show up at a Turner PPV and increase their buy rates I chose to offer Mr. Bishoff a with no TV coverage, just Bishoff vs. Vince. I got no response.

WWFLive2: We're temporarily frozen, stand by.

WWFLive2: We're coming back up, stay with me.

WWFLive2: I guess we have too damn many people wanting to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: What the hell is going on anyhow??

WWFLive2: This is supposed to be interactive but right now it's a one way street.

WWFLive2: You might even call it the HIGHWAY TO HELL!. In which case, in a role that is unfit for me, likely I would be deemed the devil.

WWFLive2: Hang on everybody, we're still frozen, god it's cold in here. Can we say shrinkage?

WWFLive2: While we're down, I predict that all of my predictions are likely to be verified this Monday on RAW. Can you believe that the Undertaker drove off with his brother Kane in a hearse last Monday. I understand they were last seen on Route 95 heading North.

WWFLive2: Can somebody at AOL please wake the hell up? Is all of America trying to talk to Mr. McMahon?

WWFLive2: We're back, finally!

WWFLive2: No we're not back.

WWFLive2: Why the hell is AOL frozen?

WWFLive2: Damn it, I want to talk to you people.

WWFLive2: More importantly, I want to listen to you.

WWFLive2: But to answer most of your question, I'm feeling fine!

WWFLive2: It's nice that everyone is so concerned with my health and mental well being. I didn't know so many people cared.

WWFLive2: You see while this damn thing is frozen, I can fantasize all I want. Which brings me to Sable. Wow!! Wait til you guys see, if you haven't already, some of the new shots of Sable. Truly a classy lady. and a classy chassy to boot. Did I say boot, that's kind of nice too.

WWFLive2: Well I certainly appreciate all of the questions coming over a frozen AOL. Come on Bob Pittman, get your shit together! The one opportunity I have to speak to everybody online and damn el nino strikes again! Or is it nanook of the north? You guys remember the pro wrestler Nanook don't you? He worked for Jerry Jarrett in the 60's under an assumed name. Speaking of Jerry Jarrett, wonder how well he's doing selling property. He was thought of as the most beloved promoter in the history of the wrestling business, although Kansas City's Bob Gigel ran a close second. What the hell's going on? I'm still frozen! We're crashed.

WWFLive2: She's breaking up, she's breaking up.

WWFLive2: Much like DX might be doing...oops! maybe I shouldn't have said that.

WWFLive2: I'm having a blast talking to myself. I can't hear you.

WWFLive2: I'm making alot of sense to myself, as I generally do when I am asking and answering my own questions, I'm sure yours would be more provocative:

WWFLive2: Alright AOL. What the hell is going on? You should have known that people want to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: I know I do.

WWFLive2: This is really getting nonsensical, if we don't straighten it out soon, I'm going downstairs to the no excuse gym, open 7 days per week, 24 hours a day. My goal is to add another quarter inch to these massive twenty inch guns.

WWFLive2: Speaking of massive, wait til you get a load of a new WWF toy. It's called a BOSS HOSS. It's a 351 cubic inch chevrolet engine. Fitted between my legs, 0 to 60 in 1 1/2 seconds. It's the ultimate crotch rocket!

WWFLive2: We're talking to AOL now, Susan, who claims that we may have had a problem if more than 5,000 people were trying to get in, no shit, can you imagine that. Like I said before, they just weren't prepared.

WWFLive2: Susan, I sure wish this problem with AOL were fixed. What a waste.

WWFLive2: I'm told some of you now can see this monologue.

WWFLive2: It's not a very good monologue.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: But, it's the best I can do at the moment. What I would really like is for AOL to apologize to all of you who have attempted to reach the WWF and yours truly tonight. I would like to see this apology on the air and in every newspaper and we here will apologize to our fans through WWF.COM as well as on the air.

WWFLive2: I'm sitting in Bill Banks office with a cup of coffee in my hand that's cold, looking up at DX making some sort of gesture toward their crotch, what the hell is the matter with Bill Banks?

WWFLive2: Oops, Bill just told me to suck it!

WWFLive2: What does he mean by that?

WWFLive2: Perhaps Monica can help us out!

WWFLive2: And how about that Chris Rock anyhow.

WWFLive2: Just like he said, Bill Clinton gave Monica a job, oh what the hell you can finish the rest. Speaking of jobs, what would I like to do to AOL at this moment, and who was that cold hearted women, Susan, that I just spoke to from AOL, who asked the questions, Did we promote, that Mr. McMahon was going to be on line tonight?

WWFLive2: That's it, I'm looking to get Bob Pitman in the ring. How about it Bob, a Brawl for All, Pittman vs. McMahon. Knowing you, you'd probably cheat to win.

WWFLive2: It wouldn't work, just like this damn AOL isn't working tonight.

WWFLive2: I have now begun to mumble to myself.

WWFLive2: I am boring myself out of my mind.

WWFLive2: Speaking of minds, what about that retarded Mankind? How gullible is that guy anyhow, you want to talk messed up? I liked him better as Dude. At least Dude would shower regularly. Have you guys every smelled that stinky leather mask that Mankind wears. If you're anywhere in the first 10 rows, you have. It wasn't your neighbor flatulating next to you, it was Mankind's mask, Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match?

WWFLive2: If the canvas on the ring had not been changed in the last month. and, Vader has been in the building, there will be an odor. It's Vader Time. That sends shock waves through the WWF lockerroom.

WWFLive2: Well it's almost time for me to go train, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed the first five minutes of our chat. which was interactive, just like the WWF will be interactive tomorrow with the hierarchy of AOL.

WWFLive2: If I were you I would demand a Christmas gift, a birthday card, and an autographed picture of Bob Pittman. or Susan whatsherface? who could not solve our problem tonight.

WWFLive2: I've got two words for AOL - SUCK IT!

WWFLive2: Wait a minute, that's Bill Banks line to me earlier, I think he stole it from somebody else.

WWFLive2: I apologize for breathing in and breathing out and wasting your precious time, but, perhaps, we can do it again some other time, when AOL has their shit together.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: In the immortal words of Vince McMahon I hope it was better for you then it was for me. Goodnight.
 
Am I the only one who thinks John Cena in court would be absolutely hilarious? I mean...can you imagine it...everyone's there and the judge is wondering where the heck he is and just about to make a judgment for Mrs. Cena and then you hear his music hit and he comes barging into the courtroom dressed in full Cena gear, proceeds to speak something unintelligible into the nearest camera then salutes and runs down the aisle, hops over the little gate and throws up hand signals to the jury...can you imagine what it would be like if he chose to represent himself? He'd do his little low monotone voice thing to address the jury and give 4 reasons why the judge should grant the divorce (2 of them being the same btw) then when Mrs. Cena's lawyer stands up to object, Cena picks him up and gives him an AA onto a table. ...I imagine a Mrs. Cena just rolling her eyes the whole time he does his shtick.
 
All I think of with this divorce thing is Jesse's commentary during the Hogan-Warrior match at Mania VI - "Let the two goody-two-shoes throw the rulebook out and get NASTY! YEAH!!" This thing's headed straight to Nastyville which is about 8 miles down wind of Dudleyville.
 
[quote name='sykotek']Am I the only one who thinks John Cena in court would be absolutely hilarious? I mean...can you imagine it...everyone's there and the judge is wondering where the heck he is and just about to make a judgment for Mrs. Cena and then you hear his music hit and he comes barging into the courtroom dressed in full Cena gear, proceeds to speak something unintelligible into the nearest camera then salutes and runs down the aisle, hops over the little gate and throws up hand signals to the jury...can you imagine what it would be like if he chose to represent himself? He'd do his little low monotone voice thing to address the jury and give 4 reasons why the judge should grant the divorce (2 of them being the same btw) then when Mrs. Cena's lawyer stands up to object, Cena picks him up and gives him an AA onto a table. ...I imagine a Mrs. Cena just rolling her eyes the whole time he does his shtick.[/QUOTE]
That would be absolutely hilarious. One place I feel a pro wrestling environment would really liven things up: Congress. If you've ever watched C-Span in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, it's better than taking a couple Nytols.

In other countries if one legislator doesn't agree with another there's a fist fight or brawl. In our country, the person who disagrees drones on and on(and on) for minutes(seems like hours) about why they disagree. fuck that shit. Pick up a chair and slam it over the other guys head.;) Settle the presidential and Congressional races with a PPV extravaganza. Shit. I'd pay to see that.
 
[quote name='sykotek']Am I the only one who thinks John Cena in court would be absolutely hilarious? I mean...can you imagine it...everyone's there and the judge is wondering where the heck he is and just about to make a judgment for Mrs. Cena and then you hear his music hit and he comes barging into the courtroom dressed in full Cena gear, proceeds to speak something unintelligible into the nearest camera then salutes and runs down the aisle, hops over the little gate and throws up hand signals to the jury...can you imagine what it would be like if he chose to represent himself? He'd do his little low monotone voice thing to address the jury and give 4 reasons why the judge should grant the divorce (2 of them being the same btw) then when Mrs. Cena's lawyer stands up to object, Cena picks him up and gives him the FU onto a table. ...I imagine a Mrs. Cena just rolling her eyes the whole time he does his shtick.[/QUOTE]

Corrected. Looks like there is some animosity. I think the PG stuff went out the window a while ago.
 
His new t shirt should be purple and include a hustle loyalty respect tie painted on it. Rednecks love tuxedo t shirts so it has a market.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']AOL chat with Vince McMahon:

WWFBBANKS: Folks....Mr. McMahon is here! We will begining in a moment...Send your questions in for Mr. McMahon! Welcome Mr. McMahon!

WWFLive2: HELLO EVERYBODY, GOT A CUP OF COFFEE IN MY HAND GETTING READY TO TRAIN IN AN HOUR, LET'S DO IT!

Question: Who would you like to see represent the WWF as their Champion?
WWFLive2: Bob Backlund, however, Mr. Backlund is too old.

Question: Is Sid coming back?
WWFLive2: I hope not.

Question: Vince, what kind of working relationship, if any, do you have with Paul Heyman of ECW?
WWFLive2: I hear from Paul approximately once every three months when he wants something. That's the extent of the relationship although, on occasion, I want something from him too.

Question: What next big talent might be coming to WWF. Is Ric Flair on his way?
WWFLive2: If I told you the next big talent who was to arrive on the scene, I would spoil the surprise, however, it's no secret that I would like for Mr. Flair to be in WWF ranks, only however, when he is legally clear to do so.

Question: Why is RAW taped week after week?
WWFLive2: RAW is live at least twice per month, soon to be more.

Question: Vinnie Mac, what are your concens now that the warrior has joined wcw?
WWFLive2: None! Whose left that wcw can take? Bruno Sammartino?

Question: Mr. McMahon, Are you and Bret Hart in Cahoots against WCW?
WWFLive2: Bret is my secret agent, however, not a very good
one!

Question: Mr. McMahon, over the past two years in which WCW peaked (probably permanently), how sure were you that your new "direction" of the WWF would reclaim it's rightful throne?
WWFLive2: I always feel that creativity coupled with LadyLuck and a very strong work ethic will eventually overcome. Despite overwhelming odds and predatory practices from Ted Turner.

Question: Vince, You must realize that many young children idolize the wrestlers of the WWF. I was wondering if you were at all concerned what the kids were picking up from the middle fingers and sex references from the wrestlers??
WWFLive2: It's the 90's! The WWF is only reflecting what is contemporary in today's society I dare say there are a great deal more middle fingers and sexual references in everyone's life then are portrayed in the WWF. Nonetheless, it is every parents discretion as to whether populace watch the WWF or any other TV program on the air.

Question: What are your thoughts on Hawk and his appearance of being drunk?
WWFLive2: Perhaps Hawk should visit Betty Ford.

Question: Vince you need to further improve your light weight division.....the belt seems almost meaningless. How will you improve this?
WWFLive2: Yokozuna is on a diet! Perhaps an influx of Ethiopian talent would be appropriate

Question: Vince, what is your true opinion on Mick Foley? Don't you think he deserves at least a title shot after all he's done to himself for the WWF?
WWFLive2: Mick Foley is one of the most extraordinary human beings on the face of the planet. But sometimes people don't get what they deserve. Although in Mick's case, he might.

Question: Mr. McMahon who in your opinion has the most talent in the WWF?
WWFLive2: Vince McMahon

Question: Where is the patriot?
WWFLive2: The Patriot is where all old patriots go, probably in a VFW home somewhere in South Carolina.

Question: Are you interested in Chris Jericho?
WWFLive2: I'm interested in any young aggressive performer who has the desire to excel.

Question: Mr. McMahon who is your favorite wrestler (active) AND WHY
WWFLive2: George the Animal Steele still wrestles for the independents. Why, because he is older than I am, I admire that.

Question: Vince, are you a fan of South Park? Will we see Golga on there?
WWFLive2: I love South Park! Chef and Cartman are my two favorite characters.

Question: Do you plan on signing randy savage when his contract expires?
WWFLive2: In the year 2032, that might be a little late.

Question: Do you respect Eric Bishoff at all? If so why? If not why?
WWFLive2: As far as a TV performer is concerned, I think he's pretty good, but, I don't know the man personally, I really can't comment.

Question: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON TONY SCHIAVONES COMMENTATING TWO WEEKS AGO WHERE HE INSULTED YOUR MAIN EVENT CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT NITRO?
WWFLive2: Tony only does what he's told to do.

Question: Will we ever see Bret in the WWF again and have you spoke to him since?
WWFLive2: He might return one day to the WWF, but not at the rate that his skill is deteriorating in WCW.

Question: Vince, why didn't you show at the WCW PPV to fight Eric Bischoff?
WWFLive2: I sent Mr. Bishoff a letter indicating that any parking lot in any city in America would be a suitable location for me to meet him. Rather than me show up at a Turner PPV and increase their buy rates I chose to offer Mr. Bishoff a with no TV coverage, just Bishoff vs. Vince. I got no response.

WWFLive2: We're temporarily frozen, stand by.

WWFLive2: We're coming back up, stay with me.

WWFLive2: I guess we have too damn many people wanting to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: What the hell is going on anyhow??

WWFLive2: This is supposed to be interactive but right now it's a one way street.

WWFLive2: You might even call it the HIGHWAY TO HELL!. In which case, in a role that is unfit for me, likely I would be deemed the devil.

WWFLive2: Hang on everybody, we're still frozen, god it's cold in here. Can we say shrinkage?

WWFLive2: While we're down, I predict that all of my predictions are likely to be verified this Monday on RAW. Can you believe that the Undertaker drove off with his brother Kane in a hearse last Monday. I understand they were last seen on Route 95 heading North.

WWFLive2: Can somebody at AOL please wake the hell up? Is all of America trying to talk to Mr. McMahon?

WWFLive2: We're back, finally!

WWFLive2: No we're not back.

WWFLive2: Why the hell is AOL frozen?

WWFLive2: Damn it, I want to talk to you people.

WWFLive2: More importantly, I want to listen to you.

WWFLive2: But to answer most of your question, I'm feeling fine!

WWFLive2: It's nice that everyone is so concerned with my health and mental well being. I didn't know so many people cared.

WWFLive2: You see while this damn thing is frozen, I can fantasize all I want. Which brings me to Sable. Wow!! Wait til you guys see, if you haven't already, some of the new shots of Sable. Truly a classy lady. and a classy chassy to boot. Did I say boot, that's kind of nice too.

WWFLive2: Well I certainly appreciate all of the questions coming over a frozen AOL. Come on Bob Pittman, get your shit together! The one opportunity I have to speak to everybody online and damn el nino strikes again! Or is it nanook of the north? You guys remember the pro wrestler Nanook don't you? He worked for Jerry Jarrett in the 60's under an assumed name. Speaking of Jerry Jarrett, wonder how well he's doing selling property. He was thought of as the most beloved promoter in the history of the wrestling business, although Kansas City's Bob Gigel ran a close second. What the hell's going on? I'm still frozen! We're crashed.

WWFLive2: She's breaking up, she's breaking up.

WWFLive2: Much like DX might be doing...oops! maybe I shouldn't have said that.

WWFLive2: I'm having a blast talking to myself. I can't hear you.

WWFLive2: I'm making alot of sense to myself, as I generally do when I am asking and answering my own questions, I'm sure yours would be more provocative:

WWFLive2: Alright AOL. What the hell is going on? You should have known that people want to talk to Mr. McMahon.

WWFLive2: I know I do.

WWFLive2: This is really getting nonsensical, if we don't straighten it out soon, I'm going downstairs to the no excuse gym, open 7 days per week, 24 hours a day. My goal is to add another quarter inch to these massive twenty inch guns.

WWFLive2: Speaking of massive, wait til you get a load of a new WWF toy. It's called a BOSS HOSS. It's a 351 cubic inch chevrolet engine. Fitted between my legs, 0 to 60 in 1 1/2 seconds. It's the ultimate crotch rocket!

WWFLive2: We're talking to AOL now, Susan, who claims that we may have had a problem if more than 5,000 people were trying to get in, no shit, can you imagine that. Like I said before, they just weren't prepared.

WWFLive2: Susan, I sure wish this problem with AOL were fixed. What a waste.

WWFLive2: I'm told some of you now can see this monologue.

WWFLive2: It's not a very good monologue.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: But, it's the best I can do at the moment. What I would really like is for AOL to apologize to all of you who have attempted to reach the WWF and yours truly tonight. I would like to see this apology on the air and in every newspaper and we here will apologize to our fans through WWF.COM as well as on the air.

WWFLive2: I'm sitting in Bill Banks office with a cup of coffee in my hand that's cold, looking up at DX making some sort of gesture toward their crotch, what the hell is the matter with Bill Banks?

WWFLive2: Oops, Bill just told me to suck it!

WWFLive2: What does he mean by that?

WWFLive2: Perhaps Monica can help us out!

WWFLive2: And how about that Chris Rock anyhow.

WWFLive2: Just like he said, Bill Clinton gave Monica a job, oh what the hell you can finish the rest. Speaking of jobs, what would I like to do to AOL at this moment, and who was that cold hearted women, Susan, that I just spoke to from AOL, who asked the questions, Did we promote, that Mr. McMahon was going to be on line tonight?

WWFLive2: That's it, I'm looking to get Bob Pitman in the ring. How about it Bob, a Brawl for All, Pittman vs. McMahon. Knowing you, you'd probably cheat to win.

WWFLive2: It wouldn't work, just like this damn AOL isn't working tonight.

WWFLive2: I have now begun to mumble to myself.

WWFLive2: I am boring myself out of my mind.

WWFLive2: Speaking of minds, what about that retarded Mankind? How gullible is that guy anyhow, you want to talk messed up? I liked him better as Dude. At least Dude would shower regularly. Have you guys every smelled that stinky leather mask that Mankind wears. If you're anywhere in the first 10 rows, you have. It wasn't your neighbor flatulating next to you, it was Mankind's mask, Or, was it the aftermath of a Vader match?

WWFLive2: If the canvas on the ring had not been changed in the last month. and, Vader has been in the building, there will be an odor. It's Vader Time. That sends shock waves through the WWF lockerroom.

WWFLive2: Well it's almost time for me to go train, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed the first five minutes of our chat. which was interactive, just like the WWF will be interactive tomorrow with the hierarchy of AOL.

WWFLive2: If I were you I would demand a Christmas gift, a birthday card, and an autographed picture of Bob Pittman. or Susan whatsherface? who could not solve our problem tonight.

WWFLive2: I've got two words for AOL - SUCK IT!

WWFLive2: Wait a minute, that's Bill Banks line to me earlier, I think he stole it from somebody else.

WWFLive2: I apologize for breathing in and breathing out and wasting your precious time, but, perhaps, we can do it again some other time, when AOL has their shit together.

WWFLive2: Mr. M: In the immortal words of Vince McMahon I hope it was better for you then it was for me. Goodnight.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that was totally Vince.
 
[quote name='mitch079']All I think of with this divorce thing is Jesse's commentary during the Hogan-Warrior match at Mania VI - "Let the two goody-two-shoes throw the rulebook out and get NASTY! YEAH!!" This thing's headed straight to Nastyville which is about 8 miles down wind of Dudleyville.[/QUOTE]

But only 3 blocks from PITTY CITTAYYYYYYYYYYY

[quote name='neocisco']Cena will be wearing his court jorts.[/QUOTE]

There has got to be a good way to combine those two words, but I'm blanking on it. Courjorts?

EDIT:

[size=+3]Happy May 19th[/SIZE]
(DON'T SAY THAT DATE!!!!!!!!!)
wESAo.jpg
 
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Brodus Clay talking about his segment at Wrestlemania:

We were in what we call the gorilla -- it's right before you get ready to go out. I think it was the band or prep -- something went way wrong. So, they were going to cut [the dance]. It was cut and we got told in gorilla. At this point, I'm committed to it and excited, ready to go. I look at the Funkadactles and I'm like, 'Guys, I think we just got cut.'

"Cena, he was getting his mind ready and he's in the corner getting ready to come out because he comes out shortly after. He's stretching and -- this is one of the coolest things ever -- he said, 'If Brodus doesn't go out, I'm not going out.' And just walked away. [Laughs.] They were just like, 'Well, send him out.'

Awesome.
 
Between that and Zack Ryder there seems to be a sense that Cena really looks out for the lower carders.

On the other hand, that Brodus Clay segment was terrible so now we have Cena to blame. :)
 
Why couldn't they have used the same fake hair Kane uses now? At least that actually looks somewhat realistic.

Or they could've at least wet it.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']Brodus Clay talking about his segment at Wrestlemania:



Awesome.[/QUOTE]

Dammit Cena! This is why I can't hate you anymore.
 
The Clay thing is cool. I just have a hard time believing it. This company has made it a mission to make Cena likable by the smarks and I can't trust that this isn't another attempt at that.
 
[quote name='Golden Idol']The Clay thing is cool. I just have a hard time believing it. This company has made it a mission to make Cena likable by the smarks and I can't trust that this isn't another attempt at that.[/QUOTE]

That's possible but it doesn't take two things into account:

1) Cena helping Ryder was occurring even while the company was unwilling to recognize/push him

2) Using this planted story requires a level of sophistication and nuance which is far beyond the WWE
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']That's possible but it doesn't take two things into account:

1) Cena helping Ryder was occurring even while the company was unwilling to recognize/push him

2) Using this planted story requires a level of sophistication and nuance which is far beyond the WWE[/QUOTE]

That's possible but it doesn't take two things into account:

1) Cena was going to hold up Wrestlemania and The Rock? If you want to believe that, that's fine.

2) Using this planted story requires a level of sophistication and nuance the WWE HAS shown in previous years even if only in small spurts - NXT Invasion, Punk Speech, Money in the Bank. I think for as crappy as their shows are, they're getting more adept at working us.
 
[quote name='Golden Idol']That's possible but it doesn't take two things into account:

1) Cena was going to hold up Wrestlemania and The Rock? If you want to believe that, that's fine.

2) Using this planted story requires a level of sophistication and nuance the WWE HAS shown in previous years even if only in small spurts - NXT Invasion, Punk Speech, Money in the Bank. I think for as crappy as their shows are, they're getting more adept at working us.[/QUOTE]

Haha, fair enough
 
Anybody have Chyna next in the death pool? She's been hospitalized for collapsing three days in a row at a porn convention in Miami. I thought maybe she finally had her shit cleaned up when TNA brought her in, but now I guess not.
 
Fun story about Chyna: I've got a cousin who likes to go out to bars and stuff and Chyna was at a local spot in Burbank, Ca this one time a few years ago. Dude went straight up to her and started dancing with her and they hung out for most the night. He ended up leaving with her phone number and a nickname from Chyna. Number worked too.

Sorry to hear that she's that bad off. Its not like it hasn't been coming along.
 
[quote name='advanced']I've got a cousin who likes to go out to bars and stuff and Chyna was at a local spot in Burbank, Ca this one time a few years ago. Dude went straight up to her and started dancing with her and they hung out for most the night. He ended up leaving with her phone number and a nickname from Chyna. Number worked too.[/QUOTE]

You're related to masked lemon?
 
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