Saginaw, MI (AP) - Reigning CAGFC Heavyweight Champion, Gary Russell's second successful title defense against I Am DrP1zza has sent DrP1zza reeling. The former title contender was seen yesterday in a nearby McDonald's filling out yet another job application.
When asked about his reason for being there, DrP1zza snarled and said "This country is a joke! Brack Obama says he's helpng me. He aint helping me! I'm just tired of it. I can't even win the CAGFC championship or get a job at McDonald's! I don't know what's harder: finding a girlfriend, winning the CAGFC championship, or getting a job at McDonald's.
All women care about is the money anyway! You don't believe me? YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME??? Well, how about I eat this cat food?! Is that enough to prove it to you?!? Does that make any sense?!? There! How you like that?"
Due to his continuous mental instability, I Am DrP1zza was released from his CAGFC contract, and replaced with...amazingly enough...Fedor Emelianenko! Wow, talk about trading garbage for gold! Just when you think he's going to go to the UFC, he ends up in CAGFC! Look for Emelianenko to make his debut at CAGFC10!