Most Embarrassing Moments

I think I read CAG too much. On my way home tonight I had eaten Sonny's Barbeque & almost shit myself in the car. I was in pain the whole time, but I was thinking "This will suck if I shit everywhere but it will be good to post in that one thread on CAG".
 
[quote name='GTzerO']The part I was on wouldn't necessarily be considered rape at first glance. He was on top of her, kind of using his weight to hold her down, and forcefully licking her breasts while she made subtle squeals and wiggled around. Hopefully my mom didn't figure out the rape part.[/quote]

Best one: My parents saw this in my sig :bomb:

/Thread
 
[quote name='GTzerO']lol.

Anyway, I used to talk with the kid using a headset online. One time my mom was really mad at me, we had an argument, and she beat me. Turns out the mic was on the entire and we were still talking on skype. He heard everything.[/quote]\


Oh my god, that is funniest shit I have heard in my life.
 
This thread is disgusting.


Here's a story. I was having lunch with friends at the Tilt'n Diner in Tilton, NH. It's a small town with outlet shops, and some friends and I had gone up there to do some shopping. I had been sitting with my back to a sort of wall, which was mirrored higher up. We finished eating, and get up to leave. I am paranoid about having food in my teeth, so as I get up, I turn around to check my teeth in the mirror. I lean towards the mirror and flash a great big smile.

Except it wasn't a mirror, it was a piece of glass. And sitting behind it on a sort of split level, were about four or five suits having their lunch hour, all facing my direction. All very startled by the strange girl who shot up to smile maniacally at them for no readily apparant reason.

:lol:

edit: i've been trying to describe what the layout was like, but I don't think I did a very good job. so here's a poorer job of me trying to give a sketch of the layout.
dinerqh9.jpg
 
Ok, I thought of my most embarrassing moment for real. Except, this is all what has been told to me, as I don't remember any of this.

So, I was staying over at a friends house for the first time ever, well apparently during the middle of the night I started sleepwalking, something I have never to my knoweldge done before.

Well somehow, even though I wasn't really familiar with the layout of the house, I made my way into my friends parents bedroom and I was attempting to get in the bed, I guess because I thought that is where I was sleeping at. Well I guess because I was sleep walking I couldn't quite do it and I made alot of noise so they guided me back to where I was sleeping.

I don't remember any of this to today, however I was so embarrassed upon learning what I did in the morning.
 
When I was about 10 or so and I thought someone had stolen my sister's bike. I hopped on my bike and peddled as fast as I could to who I thought did it. As I was doing this I was going on a turn in the street at a high rate of speed and hit a dirt patch and proceeded to introduce my face to the asphalt. I ended up breaking my front right tooth. Not my coolest moment by any means.

I also had a situation where I was jumping off a swing set about ten feet in the air, and instead of landing on my feet I belly-flopped on the Earth itself. I couldn't breath for about 30-45 seconds. Scared me to death.

At the public pool where I ran to the side to jump in, slipped and hit fanny first onto the hard steel on the side of the pool. That was in front of a lot of people.

My most embarssing though was when I was even younger. My dad was in the Air Force and I went to the gym with him. I started running on the track with him, and on the track they had those big punching bags. Needless to say, I turned my head, ran full force into one and knocked myself completely out.
 
[quote name='guinaevere']I think having Winkler as your avatar is punishment enough.[/quote]

i'm sorry, did you just insult the mother-fucking fonz? REALLY? yeah, he jumped a shark. you know why? because he's a bad-ass.

edit: also, this is less the "most embarrassing moments" thread, and more the "so, apparently everyone shits their pants" thread.
 
[quote name='Shmitty']i'm sorry, did you just insult the mother-fucking fonz?[/quote]Yes, I sure did.

But it's all good because he's embarrasing and this is the embarring moments thread. See, it works.



Fun and jokes aside. I've deleted about a zillion posts because they were inappropriate, but more of them because they were personal insults. No infractions were handed out because everyone got in a bickering match and I'm not going to waste any more of my time on babysitting than I have to. Everyone read along: If someone starts attacking another user, report the problem then and there. And if the attackee then responds, it gets too messy, so nothing definitive can really be done.
 
I was seeing this girl for about 2 months or so, and one night we were in bed after some heavy drinking. Well, I'm about 6'3" and 217 or so lbs while this girl was 5' nothing (I have a thing for girls smaller than me. Not midgets, mind you, but just smaller) and I have this thing that makes me....happy.... which is to grab them, lift them up into my arms, and kinda press them against the wall while they work on my neck (yes, you guys are learning WAY more about my sexual preferences than you'd like). Well, like I said, we're (at least I'm) fucking smashed, and she's already sucking on my neck, so I grab her and power her up into my arms and do a forceful step forward to press her against the wall.

....'Cept, it wasn't a wall, it was a flimsy sliding closet door which we ended up smashing through before I dropped her into a pile of dirty clothes out of pure shock. She was all right, so no harm no foul.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Ok, I thought of my most embarrassing moment for real. Except, this is all what has been told to me, as I don't remember any of this.

So, I was staying over at a friends house for the first time ever, well apparently during the middle of the night I started sleepwalking, something I have never to my knoweldge done before.

Well somehow, even though I wasn't really familiar with the layout of the house, I made my way into my friends parents bedroom and I was attempting to get in the bed, I guess because I thought that is where I was sleeping at. Well I guess because I was sleep walking I couldn't quite do it and I made alot of noise so they guided me back to where I was sleeping.

I don't remember any of this to today, however I was so embarrassed upon learning what I did in the morning.[/quote]

That reminded me of one.

One Friday night my friend invites me to sleep over. Ok. So I get there with my sleeping bag, and when he opens the door he gives me a weird look and tells me to come in. When his mom comes home, she has a chat with my friend in the other room, but I can't hear what they're saying. I figure he didn't ask permission to have me over. We play Sega and watch tv all night.

The next morning my friend asks, "So, why did you come over last night?"

"Because you asked me to."

"No I didn't."

Turns out I went to the wrong place. The friend who called me never said who it was, and I guess we both assumed we each knew who it was that was calling. I guessed wrong. I had no clue who had actually called me until Monday at school.
 
[quote name='mikej012']That reminded me of one.

One Friday night my friend invites me to sleep over. Ok. So I get there with my sleeping bag, and when he opens the door he gives me a weird look and tells me to come in. When his mom comes home, she has a chat with my friend in the other room, but I can't hear what they're saying. I figure he didn't ask permission to have me over. We play Sega and watch tv all night.

The next morning my friend asks, "So, why did you come over last night?"

"Because you asked me to."

"No I didn't."

Turns out I went to the wrong place. The friend who called me never said who it was, and I guess we both assumed we each knew who it was that was calling. I guessed wrong. I had no clue who had actually called me until Monday at school.[/quote]

:lol: That is great.
 
[quote name='rc cola sucks']i have a few:

1. i was lising to britney spaers in my room my dad wlak in and he call me "gay".

2.at school i was done out of lunch line getting my lunch and a kid named ryan tripped me and i fell down and the food was all over me.every1 laughed at me and i ran out crying. the guidance counsler said not to worry kids are jerks but i washumiliated.

3. when i failed 12th grade 4 2nd time my dad said that im not that bright. which hurt my feelings and i hated him 4 that.

but those r my most mebarassing theyre not as bad as osme of urs which makes me lucky... i guess.[/quote]

Pepsi Mang?
 
[quote name='mikej012']That reminded me of one.

One Friday night my friend invites me to sleep over. Ok. So I get there with my sleeping bag, and when he opens the door he gives me a weird look and tells me to come in. When his mom comes home, she has a chat with my friend in the other room, but I can't hear what they're saying. I figure he didn't ask permission to have me over. We play Sega and watch tv all night.

The next morning my friend asks, "So, why did you come over last night?"

"Because you asked me to."

"No I didn't."

Turns out I went to the wrong place. The friend who called me never said who it was, and I guess we both assumed we each knew who it was that was calling. I guessed wrong. I had no clue who had actually called me until Monday at school.[/quote]

great story :D
 
Hmmmm...There was this fine vietnamese chick back in 4th grade that I had the hots for. Anyways, I go over to her house for her birthday party. There I am, laying on the game at like 9 years old, making jokes, being a cute little bastard.

Then, her 5 year old little brother comes downstairs and wants to play around, throw shit at me and pretty much wrestle with me. well...when you're 9 and he's 4,...it's not too foreign of a concept to engage in some light-hearted wrestling with the kid.

Well, next thing you know, I elbow the little fucker in the nose, he starts bleeding,...sees the blood, starts YELLING......

...next thing you know, my 9 year old bitch ass is kicked out of the house, never to speak to my hot Vietnamese babe again :(
 
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I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.
 
[quote name='Paco']I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.[/quote]
:lol: wow
 
Yo tmk, didn`t you walk in on your friends having sex?

As for me, I can`t recall anything right now, but I'll post when I do.
 
[quote name='Paco']I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.[/quote]

I'm not gonna lie...


...This is the greatest thing I've ever read in my entire life...and I've read a lot of things.
 
[quote name='Simon D I']I'm not gonna lie...


...This is the greatest thing I've ever read in my entire life...and I've read a lot of things.[/quote]


In my defense, I was only six at the time and I didn't know any better :lol:
 
[quote name='Paco']I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.[/quote]


this must define you as a person
 
Lol, why does Pepsiman keep coming back?

It was over winter break, and I was bored at night after playing CoD4 for like three hours (around 10 PM). I decided to pull up one of my favorite sites, and proceed to enhance the experience. I get to the best part of the fun, and just kinda sit there enjoying the euphoria for a while. I feel lethargic so I kinda slowly gather myself up to close the sites when my mom walks in. I'm sitting there with my pants open (boxers still on), and a shitload of white goo on both of my hands. I do this thing where I tilt my right mouse hand so that it stands behind the mouse, and put my left hand on my knee tapping it to the beat of the music that's playing in the background. She was about to come into the room, took half a step, kinda stopped as I felt my face get hot, and walked out of the room. To this day I don't know if it was because she saw or because she needed something from the other room.

Back in 9th grade, I was looking up celeb pron shit and doing it downstairs in the office room, where we had 2 computers. I didn't have my own computer back then. My parents are at Home Depot buying gardening shit and I have fun. I expected them to come back in about an hour, but I forgot that the HD they were speaking of was really fucking close. My mom sees me fappittyfapfapping through the blinds of the office room, and I see her. I did the thing I thought was best: picked up some pixy stix from the kitchen, and went back to the office room, and started shaking those into my hand as if I'd been doing that all along.
 
A few years back while on a break at work, I met up with a friend who worked nearby to grab some lunch. We hit a Wendy's and went inside. I order my food and sit down. I unwrap my sammich, and to my surprise, there is no meat on it. I show it to my friend, who is equally baffled. Suddenly I get all excited because I'm going to get a chance to use the old "Where's the Beef?" line on the very company that coined it. So I walk up to the extremely fat kid behind the counter, give him a big "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" and lift up the bun on my sandwich...and it was there. I don't know how both my friend and I managed to miss it, but we did. I just mumbled "oh, uh, there it is" and quietly walked back to my seat.
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']A few years back while on a break at work, I met up with a friend who worked nearby to grab some lunch. We hit a Wendy's and went inside. I order my food and sit down. I unwrap my sammich, and to my surprise, there is no meat on it. I show it to my friend, who is equally baffled. Suddenly I get all excited because I'm going to get a chance to use the old "Where's the Beef?" line on the very company that coined it. So I walk up to the extremely fat kid behind the counter, give him a big "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" and lift up the bun on my sandwich...and it was there. I don't know how both my friend and I managed to miss it, but we did. I just mumbled "oh, uh, there it is" and quietly walked back to my seat.[/quote]

:rofl:LMAO!
 
[quote name='Paco']I punched a girl in the pussy when I was in first grade. It didn't hurt her and I ran away scared.[/quote]

We used to pull chairs out from people sitting down as a prank in first grade. I pulled one girl's chair and she fell right over and cracked her head on a radiator.
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']A few years back while on a break at work, I met up with a friend who worked nearby to grab some lunch. We hit a Wendy's and went inside. I order my food and sit down. I unwrap my sammich, and to my surprise, there is no meat on it. I show it to my friend, who is equally baffled. Suddenly I get all excited because I'm going to get a chance to use the old "Where's the Beef?" line on the very company that coined it. So I walk up to the extremely fat kid behind the counter, give him a big "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" and lift up the bun on my sandwich...and it was there. I don't know how both my friend and I managed to miss it, but we did. I just mumbled "oh, uh, there it is" and quietly walked back to my seat.[/quote]
:lol: Wow....:applause:
 
Back in 9th grade my friend asked me to fix his Palm while I was in class (I had one too) and at some point I accidentally clicked on a file while browsing and suddenly, some Nickelback song started playing and everyone turned back and looked at me. Thankfully he was nearby so I just pointed at him and mumbled some words.

My friend loves to remind me about this one. I must admit it must have been pretty funny
 
[quote name='QiG']
Trying to sneak one out during a test in high school and inadvertaintly ripping ass loud enough that everyone heard it and knew exactly who it was.[/quote]

Someone in my class did the same thing while everyone had to read a book. He tried the "what? why are you looking at me" card while everyone was smirking and holding their laughs.

Not to be outdone, someone did even worse. Thanks to the fact our school is awesome, we have weekly improvisation matches at the auditorium during lunch. This day the place was full and someone tried to sneak one that ended up almost disrupting the play. Seriously. As the odds like to play cruelly with people, it had to be at the quietest moment.

Congratulations, anonymous farter.
 
One time i went to outback steakhouse with my family and i ate quite a bit of a bloomin' onion. Needless to say, i ended up pooping my pants in a Wal-Mart parking lot right in front of my sister, and i needed to walk in and have her buy me a clean pair of underwear. good times.
 
My Family was eating pizza and watching a movie when suddenly my sister started screaming at the top of her lung. "OMG theres a dead fly on my pizza!" Just as soon as she said that my entire family look at each other and quickly spitted out what was left in their mouth. I started to gag and I finally puked all over the place. Than my sister said "Oh, wait its just a mushroom."
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']A few years back while on a break at work, I met up with a friend who worked nearby to grab some lunch. We hit a Wendy's and went inside. I order my food and sit down. I unwrap my sammich, and to my surprise, there is no meat on it. I show it to my friend, who is equally baffled. Suddenly I get all excited because I'm going to get a chance to use the old "Where's the Beef?" line on the very company that coined it. So I walk up to the extremely fat kid behind the counter, give him a big "WHERE'S THE BEEF???" and lift up the bun on my sandwich...and it was there. I don't know how both my friend and I managed to miss it, but we did. I just mumbled "oh, uh, there it is" and quietly walked back to my seat.[/QUOTE]
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']We used to pull chairs out from people sitting down as a prank in first grade. I pulled one girl's chair and she fell right over and cracked her head on a radiator.[/quote]

When I was at some after care place I got annoyed that some girl was running around in a circle so I pushed a rolling chair at her when she came around , it hit her, and she fell and started crying. It was obviously on purpose but I swore it was an accident.

Also embarrassing moments, various times where I slept in class. I need to stop snoring. BTW I always sit in the front.
 
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We were bored in class in middle school and playing hangman on my friend's palm. I'm about to guess the word so he starts trying to change the screen. Inadverdently, he pulls up a "hot list". Wasn't embarassing for me but I laughed at him forever.
 
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