Tenay - IMPACT OPENS WITH HOGAN AND IMMORTAL IN THE RING!
Hogan - They don’t wanna fight - we woulda stayed out all night and sure ‘nough, Sting and RVD had to have their 3 stooges out to hold us back! Sting, you can hide behind these clowns, but nowhere more idle threats. IF THERE’S A NETWORK REP THAT’S GONNA COME ON MY SHOW, THEN I WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT. THE HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR HEAD GAMES! SO I’M GONNA WARN YA ONE LAST TIME, IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS REP, YOU’D BETTER TELL ME NOW OR ELSE IMMORTAL WILL WIPE YOU OUT AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER.
Sting - I DON’T HAVE TO TELL YOU,, BECAUSE NEXT WEEK, HE, OR SHE WILL BE HERE!
Tenay - HOGAN JUST DECKED D’LO BROWN.
Roode - HEY HOGAN YOU COWARD, DON’T YOU TAKE ANOTHER FREAKING STEP! YOU COWARD, YOU SON OF A BITCH, LISTEN TO ME! I HAVE LISTENED TO YOU TALK FOR SIX MONTHS AND I’VE HAD IT - IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT’S GONNA BE ME - RIGHT NOW. Don’t worry Hulk, I’m not gonna talk about how me and my buddies built this company from scratch, and how you, Flair, and Bischoff took the money. I’m gonna tell you something from the heart - as a Kid, I thought you were the guy who trained and prayed to, but I possess something you do not - PRIDE. PRIDE! I’m proud of the fact, I lace up my boots and walk up the ramp you’re standing on and get in here and bust my ass. I do it not just for me and the fans, but everyone associated with this WRESTLING company. I EARN EVERY PENNY I MAKE. AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, WHEN I FLY HOME AND PUT FOOT IN MY KIDS MOUTHS, THAT’S THE MOST GRATIFYING FEELING A MAN CAN HAVE. IT’S CALLED BLUE COLLAR WORK - I’M A BLUE COLLAR WORKER!
Hogan - YOU WOULDN’T BERE IF IT WASN’ T FOR ME.
Roode - WHAT HAVE YOU EARNED HOGAN!/ LEMME TELL YA - YOU HAVEN’T EARNED ANYTHING. THE ONLY THING YOU’VE DONE IN 18 MONTHS IS RAPE AND STEAL FROM MY WRESTLING COMPANY AND RAPE AND STEAL FROM THESE FANS. YOU’VE RUINED PEOEPLE’S LIVES. YOU TOOK THIS COMPANY OUT OF THE FEET OF DIXIE. YOU CRUSH DREAMS! LAST WEEK, A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE WAS FIRED - YOU FIRED JAY LETHAL! JAY LETHAL WAS A WARRIOR, AND HE WAS PROUD OF THE FACT THAT HE WRESTLED IN THIS COMPANY! HE DID ANYTHING ASKED, WHETHER IT WAS GOOD OR BAD, AND HE WAS HAPPY HE WAS ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY. LEMME PROPERLY INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU - I’M BOBBY ROODE! AND I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA STAND UP TO YOU YOU SELFISH SON OF A BITCH. I’M GONNA STAND UP TO YOU BECAUSE NEXT WEEK, THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE. NEXT WEEK, EVERYTHING’S GONNA CHANGE!
Tenay - EVERYTHING CHANGES NEXT WEEK BECAUSE THE IDENTITY OF THE NETWORK REP WILL BE HERE!
Karen - GO BLOW DRY YOUR SKANKY WEAVE!
Hardy - THE BIG SHOT BOBBY ROODE and he’s part of a tag team, MY NAME IS COLD BLOOD MATT HARDY AND I WAS/AM PART OF THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN WRESTLING - THAT’S NO SECRET. There’s nothing personal here, but Mr. Roode needs to be taught a lesson, so I’m gonna call someone very special and this special individual will challenge Beer Money for the titles at Sacrifice, and when it’s all done, they’ll learn valuable lessons. If you wouldn’t have done that, it would’ve guaranteed you a secure career.
Tenay - My scouts tell me that SANGRIENTO is the hottest indy luchador.
Taz - I’m gonna pick the guy with the mask.
Taz - I was gonna wrestle with a mask - as Chyron.
Taz - I gotta come up with a nickname - Sangriento is long. How about something with Sangria?
Hogan - IT FELT GOOD TO HIT D’LO, AND IF I HAVE TO BEAT UP EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER, I WILL.
Bischoff - WHAT ABOUT FLAIR!?
Hogan - Flair doesn’t operate this way - he’s too dirty.
Bischoff - True, and he tried to dig my eye out a few years ago.
Hogan - LET’S GO DOWN THE ROSTER UNTIL WE FIND THE RAT!
Hernandez - DROP THE COLORS, HOLMES!
Anarchia - THIS LAND IS NOT YOUR LAND ANYMORE, IT WILL BELONG TO US! ODALEYYYY!
Sarita - We need the Spanish announce team - BRING THE TEQUILA!
Anarchia - WE GOT HECTOR FROM THE GREATEST WRESTLING FAMILY EVER! YA GOT A NICE SUIT ON MAN. YOU EVEN TRIMMED THE MOUSTACHE! WE GOT WILLY HERBINA, HEY ESAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE HOLMES!? YOU’RE NOT MEXICAN - YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PUERTO RICAN!
Jesse - YOU DON’T DISRESPECT OUR COUNTRY, AND OUR FLAG! WHEN THERE’S AMERICANS LIKE US WILLING TO FIGHT FOR AMERICA, THIS WILL STAY OUR COUNTRY! HOLD ON. I’M SORRY, THE ONE IN THE BACK MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND. DO ME A FAVOR - GET YOUR GREEN CARDS AND PLEASE LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE ASS ON THE WAY OUT!
Taz - Christy Hemme dresses a lot different than JB - at least on TV.
Tenay - AJ WON’T BE HAPPY UNTIL BULLY RAY’S IN THE SAME POSITION HE WAS IN - IN A HOSPITAL BED!
Tenay - THE NETWORK REP IS ONLY ONE WEEK AWAY!
Tenay - HIGH-LOW!
Taz - Almost a Total Elimination - pun intended.
Bully - GOOD CHOICE, DREAMER! AJ - I’M GONNA BUST YA ASS! I SWEAR ON YOUR WIFE AND KIDS!
Harvey - TOMMY!?
Dreamer - AGGGGHHHHHH! AGGGHHHHHH!
Kaz - WHO’S NEXT!?
AJ - Is it about EV2!?
Kaz - IS IT PISSED!/ If he’s pissed, why’s he taking it out on you?
Daniels - HE KNEW HIS NECK WAS HURT CUZ OF WHAT RAY DID THE LAST TIME!
Ray - HOW’S HE DOING!? Tell him I said hello. DREAMER AIN’T STUPID - HE’S GOT TWO TWINS, A WIFE - HE’S GOTTA TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY. He’s doing what he’s gotta do to keep himself in the company. Would you stand up to Immortal? I wouldn’t stand up to me, or you. He looks stupid, but he isn’t. I am going to ENJOY toying with his head.
Hardy - I’m gonna enjoy watching it.
Winter - Our souls connected long ago. I crossed EONS OF TIME to be with you, Love…
Karen - VELVET, GET YOUR SKANKY LITTLE WANNA BE KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP ASS HERE NOW!
Taz - Starting out smooth.
Tenay - AFTER PEICING TOGETHER THE CLUES, I WOULDN’T THINK IT WAS VELVET!
Taz - Karen calls him Big Daddy? Guess I’m Big Dummy.
Karen - THE MYSTERY IS OVER AND I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!
Crowd - SLOPPY SECONDS!
Karen - IT WAS RIGHT THERE FOR EVERYBODY TO SEE! Every girl, almost every girl in the knockouts locker room has been champion - Mickie, Tara, Angelina, Madison…except YOU!
Jeff - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Karen - Why is that? Why do you continue to be passed over? Or walked over, CUZ YOU BEEN LAYING DOWN QUITE A BIT. So you had an idea - I’ll tie myself to Kurt Angle become a thoroughred too! YOU HITCHED YOURSELF TO HIS WAGON THINKING EVERYONE WOULD NOTICE YOU NOW, BUT THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN - Kurt thinks he’ll use your relationship to threaten me!?
Velvet - WHAT RELATIONSHIP!?
Karen - IT’S GONNA COME TO A HALT, SPEAKING OF HALT!
Velvet - Don’t touch me - I enjoy listening to myself talk so much that I’m gonna tell you one more time what I already said last week - BRACE YOURSELF. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!? The only thing Kurt and I have shared is conversation!
Karen - Bullshit
Velvet - I would never sleep with someone to get ahead here! THAT’S MORE YOUR STYLE! For four years, I’ve sat back and watched everyone else get their shot, and I have no problem waiting my turn, and now that Angelnia and I are BFFs no more, I’ve had a goal - TO BECOME TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION. DIG IT! You are your “big daddy”, I have some business to attend to that doesn’t involve you. DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH ME!
Karen - WHAT BUSINESS WOULD THAT BE!? GIVING KURT A MASSAGE, MAYBE A NASTY LAPDANCE!?
Velvet - YOU’RE ONE TO TALK ABOUT LAPDANCING!
Karen - I was fooled by my ex- husband for ten years!
Velvet - THEN HIDE BEHIND THE NEXT ONE!
Karen - BIG DADDY KNOWS PEOPLE IN HIGH PLACES, AND HE’S ARRANGED FOR A HANDICAP MATCH TONIGHT. Know who it involves?
Velvet - WHO DAT INVOLVE KAREN, Winter and Angelina versus Y-O-U! LOOK WHO’S COMING VELVET! Winter, you give her whatever it is you give her and TAKE VELVET OUT! (Angle comes out)
Taz - Are there any other women Jeff could hide behind? I can’t get past Jeff hiding behind three knockouts. Well, two and his wife.
Kurt - Relax Jeff, I come in peace.
Jarrett - Gotta go.
Kurt - I promised the network I wouldn’t do anything I would regret. The network rep I spoke to has trumped Hogan and Bischoff tonight. Karen, you’ll have your handicap match - but it’ll be different. It’ll be a mixed tag handicap tag. I’ll be in Velvet’s corner and you big daddy, will be in their corner. I’ll get what I want - YOUR HUSBAND’S ASS ON A SILVER PLATTER TONIGHT.
Velvet - Karen, one more thing before you trolley onto the back. I’d like you to join your husband tonight when I get done with Moriticia, I’M COMING FOR YOUR ASS! HOLD ON, KAREN, BECAUSE WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, I’M GONNA BEND YOU OVER MY KNEE AND DO WHAT YOUR MAMA SHOULDA DONE A LONG TIME AGO!
Bischoff - NOW ANGLE CAN JUST CALL THE NETWORK AND MAKE MATCHES!? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
Bischoff - I’m upset that the world is populated by guys like you - who don’t wanna make a commitment, so here’s what we’ll do tonight - ANGLE CAN MAKE A MATCH, SO CAN I - WE’RE GONNA HAVE A MATCH AND THE LOSER’S DONE AND THE WINNER’S IN IMMORTAL. THIN THE HERD AND DO IT YOURSELF!
Crimson - JOE, COME OUT AND PLAY… Joe! COME OUT AND PLAY, JOE!
Tenay - It’s sudden victory, and sudden death - IMMORTAL DEATH for the loser.
Tenay - For weeks, Murphy and Rob Terry have been under the Hogan microscope!
Taz - MURPHY GONE FROM IMMORTAL!
Hogan - THAT WAS BAD! They’re fighting or a spot in Immortal!? THEY’RE DONE!
Bischoff - The network rep…maybe it could be a ref. Or Donald Trump.
Hogan - IT COULD BE ANYBODY!
Crimson - If you’re gonna stay outta my way, STAY OUTTA MY DAMN WAY!
Joe - Is that a threat?
Crimson - Take it anyway you want.
Tenay - Interesting story here.
Taz - What?
Tenay - She was a secretary for Bischoff - but then had ONLY ONE TNA EMPLOYMENT OPTION - become a wrestler. After four months of training, now she thinks she can win the knockouts champion.
Taz - Earl Hebner - the senior official. And I mean really, he’s a senior citizen referee.
Taz - She dropped her horned..glasses. I’m analyzing it. Got something you want me to analyze? Just name it!
Tenay - Hangman’s neck breaker. Or hang woman’s.
Taz - No one’s paying attention to us talking!
Rayne - Mickie, I’ll keep this short and sweet - I WAS THE LONGEST REIGNING, MOST GIVING TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION OF ALL-TIME! I WENT SO FAR AS TO OFFER YOU A REMATCH OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART WHEN I WAS NOT CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO. NOW, I’M ASKING YOU TO BE JUST AS GRACIOUS - BE THE FIGHTING CHAMP YOU CLAIM YOU ARE AND RETURN THE FAVOR. I WANT A REMATCH AT SACRIFICE. YOU AND ME ONE MORE TIME, FOR MY KNOCKOUTS TITLE!
Crowd - DO IT! DO IT!
Mickie - MADISON, YOU WANT IT - YOU GOT IT. But wait, not so fast - there’s a catch. At Lockdown, I had to put my hair on the line to get my rematch, so what are you gonna put on the line to get your rematch?
Rayne - ANYTHING! I’ll do anything to take back what’s mine!
Mickie - Oh, good, I’M GLAD YOU SAID THAT. CUZ HERE’S MY STIP - AT SACRIFICE, IF YOU BEAT ME, THEN FINE YOU GET BACK MY TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP! IF, OR WHEN I WIN, THIS LITTLE CONTRACT BETWEEN YOU AND TARA IS FINISHED - NULL AND VOID. WHICH MEANS THAT TARA IS FREE TO RESUME HER CAREER IN TNA WITHOUT BEING ATTACHED TO YOU!
Rayne - IS THAT WHWAT YOU WANT, TARA!? YOU GOT IT, MICKIE!
KENDRICK - WE’RE THE BEST GODDAM WRESTLERS HERE. THE BULLSHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH JAY LETHAL ISN’T GONNA HAPPEN TO US!
Kendrick - We have questions for you - why are we sitting on our hands and why is Lethal gone? WE ARE THE MOST TALENTED GUYS YOU HAVE, BUT WE SIT IN THE LOCKER ROOM AND WE BITCH AND MOAN - WE’RE TIRED OF IT.
Bischoff - I’m tired of it too, I WANT YOU TO ACHIEVE EVERYTHING, AND I BELIEVE IN YOU. THE SECRET TO YOU GUYS…YOU’RE ONLY A FOOT AND A HALF!
Kendrick - YOU’RE SAYING TALENT IS INCHES!?
Bischoff - I’M SERIOUS ABOUT MY COFFEE AND I’M SERIOUS ABOUT BEING PISSED BECAUSE OF SAWED-OFF MIDGETS YELLING ABOUT WHAT THEY DON’T HAVE. FOURTEEN INCHES, A COUPLE POUNDS!
Sting - RVD got set up by Hogan…I still don’t understand all that.
Sting - I can’t do all of what I used to, but I still have some tricks up my sleeve. And my mind. This is TNA.
Taz - This relationship is one-sided.
Tenay - Velvet with a monkey flip out of the corner.
Taz - That’s one hot monkey!
Angle - Velvet - congrats, tonight is your night and I hope this brings you one step closer to becoming knockouts champ. Karen, you’re about to witness a nightmare you can’t imagine. Velvet wasn’t the chosen one - it was someone or something you can’t even fathom. THE CHOSEN ONE IS GONNA TAKE YOU OUT SO I CAN FOCUS ON JEFF AND WHOOP HIS ASS WITHOUT DISTRACTION AND THE CHOSEN ONE WILL BE HERE NEXT WEEK. OH THAT IS REAL THAT IS DAMN REAL, BITCH!
Tenay - WOAH! NEXT THURSDAY, WE’LL ALL MEET THE NEW MS. ANGLE AND AT THE SAME TIME JEFF JARRETT WILL MEET THE CHOSEN ONE PLUS THE IDENDITY OF THE NETWORK REP! ALL THE QUESTIONS ANSWERED NEXT WEEK!
Hogan - It couldn’t be Flair .
Bischoff - HE’S THE DIRTIEST PLAYER INT EH GAME.
Hogan - IT’S RUSSO! WHAT - WHO’S NEXT!? IT’S GOLDBERG!?