The Hurricycle Memorial New Japan Pro Wrestling Thread Does Its Talking In The Ring

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Why in blue blazes would they have Ziggler in a match with Santino, I thought him moving to Raw was marking a new push for him...

Yay, generic wrestler beat jobber.
 
This makes me laugh every time I see it in the store:

m2p6_undertaker_batista_mocS.jpg


Even his action figure botches everything.

I can't wait for Covert Affairs. Not that it's an especially great show, but I'm madly in love with Piper Perabo.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']This makes me laugh every time I see it in the store:

m2p6_undertaker_batista_mocS.jpg


Even his action figure botches everything.[/QUOTE]

:lol: sooner or later that will be Mason Ryan xD
 
[quote name='integralsmatic']:lol: sooner or later that will be Mason Ryan xD[/QUOTE]

I give Ryan the benefit of the doubt. I don't think any man has what it takes to make me dislike him as much as I dislike Batista.

"Once champion" is actually pretty apt.
 
Do you get it?!?! They announcers are talking to those of us who are angry at Orton winning the title. DO YOU GET IT?!?!?
 
Holy shit Cena learned a snapmare.

Ah-ha, see what he did there? He threw everyone off by adding a second AA to the shoulder block/shoulder block/sitout powerbomb/5-Knuckle Shuffle/AA/STF sequence. The critics have been silenced.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']Holy shit Cena learned a snapmare.

Ah-ha, see what he did there? He threw everyone off by adding a second AA to the shoulder block/shoulder block/sitout powerbomb/5-Knuckle Shuffle/AA/STF sequence. The critics have been silenced.[/QUOTE]

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What was the announcement? Had a bathroom break. Was it Cole 'retiring' or something?

Kofi! .....Why do I feel like Kofi's gonna lose that belt tonight?


Thanks Jerry. Sorry Sthwagger.
 
Man, I just don't know what to do. This black lady keeps telling me that Popeye's beat KFC in a taste test, and then this Church's ad keeps saying they beat Popeye's! Does that mean Church's also beat KFC, or do we need a face off between the two to know for sure?

Far more interesting three way than Mysterio/Miz/Del Rio.
 
Don't feel like sitting through this match, but I have a feeling there's gonna be a run in from Truth.

Just realized Rey has a full mask on tonight. I like him again now.
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']Man, I just don't know what to do. This black lady keeps telling me that Popeye's beat KFC in a taste test, and then this Church's ad keeps saying they beat Popeye's! Does that mean Church's also beat KFC, or do we need a face off between the two to know for sure?

Far more interesting three way than Mysterio/Miz/Del Rio.[/QUOTE]

Church's > KFC > Popeye's. Which isnot to say Popeye's is bad by any means. Ideally, they'd serve Popeye's red beans and rice at Church's.

Is anyone else's Church's Chicken located directly next door to an actual church like mine is?
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']Man, I just don't know what to do. This black lady keeps telling me that Popeye's beat KFC in a taste test, and then this Church's ad keeps saying they beat Popeye's! Does that mean Church's also beat KFC, or do we need a face off between the two to know for sure?

Far more interesting three way than Mysterio/Miz/Del Rio.[/QUOTE]
I'm a huge Popeye's mark.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']I'm a huge Popeye's mark.[/QUOTE]KFC has those really good potato wedges, so they win....ANNNNND I'm hungry now.:drool::lol::drool:
 
This wasn't the worst Raw ever, but was very boring a lot of the time. Thankfully, it was made watchable thanks to Ricardo, Alberto, King smashing Cole's face into the Cole Mine, and Truth cutting awesome promos throughout the show and worthwhile because the main event was pretty good and they built up what should be a really good Rey-Truth match for the PPV. And I'm sure Miz-Cena I quit will be fine too. I could've done without them bringing up King's dead mother AGAIN to try and get heat, but at least it didn't work, and it's a shame their final match won't be in Memphis, because I think after tonight's build, it would work well enough to at least get a huge reaction.


Screens -





IT'S STILL REAL...in 2011.










Quotes -

Cole - ALBETO IS ONE OF THE GREATEST SUPERSTARS OF ALL-TIME!
King - Someone should tell him to change the oil in his hair.
Cole - 1985 called.
King - YOU WERE WORKING IN MCDONALDS IN ‘85.
Cole - You’re on a roll…
Alberto - MY DESTINY TO BE WORLD CHAMPION WAS STOLEN BY EDGE. BUT DESTINY CANNOT BE STOPPED - ONLY DELAYED. I don’t know why we wasted so much time with the Rock - IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CELEBRATION OF ALBERTO DEL RIO!
Ricardo - VIVA ALBERTO DEL RIO!
Alberto - Cena is WWE Champion, but there’s no one better than me. The man who should face John Cena is…
Ricardo - ALBERTO DEL RIO!
Cole - VIVA!
Rey - Alberto, you’re no more worthy of a title match than I am - we each got drafted to Raw. Your destiny isn’t to be a champion. OR TO BE THE GREATEST OF THE GREAT. Your destiny, and you should be proud of this - IS TO BE THE PERSONAL RING ANNOUNCER OF RICARDO RODRIGUEZ! I’m challenging you to a match, tonight.
Alberto - If by earning, you mean beating you for the 1,000th time, I’m here.. (Miz comes out)
Cole - If anyone’s gonna interrupt Alberto, I’m glad it’s Miz.
Miz - REALLY!? REALLY!? REALLY!? REALLY!? REALLY!? See, I know Teddy Long’s incompetent decision making led to this on SD, but this is MY SHOW! THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP IS MY TITLE! AND IF IT WASN’T FOR THE STAGGERING INCOMPETENCE OF MY ASSISTANT, I WOULD BE WWE CHAMPION!
Alberto - YA YA YA YA, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND DIDN’T GET THE JOB DONE! So now listen! You got to the back of the line!
Miz - No, I did get the job done! I DID PIN JOHN CENA! LAST WEEK, I WAS ANNOUNCED THE WWE CHAMPION! THEN THAT BIASED REF REVERSED THE DECISION. I HAD NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE THAT ALEX WAS GOING TO DO WHAT HE DID, BUT WHEN HE DID, I USED IT ON CENA BEFORE HE COULD USE IT ON ME. BUT I SHOULDN’T BE PENALIZED. I WANT A LEGIT REMATCH AGAINST JOHN CENA! YOU TWO CAN FIGHT EACH OTHER IN A TACO BELL PARKING LOT FOR ALL I CARE, THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD FACE CENA IS ME!
Truth - THE TRUTH HAS SET ME FREE! Since y’all spitting hate, let me spit some hate of my own. Know what I hate? Hospital food! Hospital food! It’s dry as a desert. IT SMELLS BAD, AND IT TASTES BAD. AND YA NEVER GET IT WHEN YA WANT IT, Know who’s eating a lot of it now? JOHN MORRISON! And that’s because last week, I did this to him!
Cole - THE WWE UNIVERSE CAN BE BLAMED FOR THAT!
Truth - Y’all see that? Seriously, I put a beating on him so bad he had to have surgery today! IT’S ON WWE.COM! And I would like to shout out to JAWN MORRISON. P.S. - HOSPTITAL FOOD GIVES YA CONSTIPATION. Know what else is true? I don’t have any problem making sure every last one of y’all is hooked up to the same IV. And ya can share the same bedpan too. It doesn’t matter if you’re a pretty boy from LA. Kermit. Some superhero wannabe from San Diego. A bottle nose. And it doesn’t matter if you’re some pompous Mexican fence jumper LIVER LIPS! WHEN THE ANGRY BLACK MAN IS TALKING, Y’ALL NEED TO SHUT IT UP. AND THAT GOES ESPECIALLY FOR ALL Y’ALL! I’M NOT WAITING IN LINE LIKE I DID THE PAST TEN YEARS - WHEN I SEE A OPPORTUNITY, I’M GONNA TAKE IT. YOU KICK MY DOG, I’M GONNA KICK YOUR CAT. THE ONLY PERSON WHO’S GONNA FACE THAT LILLY WHITE JOHN CENA IS ME AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!
Cole - AND I QUOTE! We will have a triple threat match to determine who will face Cena at Over the Limit. Miz, you deserve a rematch, so you’re in. Alberto, you’re the crown jewel of the WWE draft - you’re in. As for the third competitor…
Truth - ME . IT’S ME!
Cole - AND I QUOTE! Sorry. I got so excited, I hit send too soon. By virtue of his victory last week, the third competitor is REY MYSTERIO!
Truth - AGAIN!? THIS HAPPENED TO ME AGAIN! I’M BETTER THAN EVERY LAST ONE OF Y’ALL. ESPECIALLY YOU!
Rey - For once, I’m agreeing with the GM. You shouldn’t be involved in the match. NOW THAT’S WHAT’S UP! THAT’S THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!
Miz - Listen to me very carefully - I don’t care what you accomplished, OR DIDN’T, IN YOUR CASE, ALBERTO. ON RAW, YOU’RE DAY LABORERS! YOU’RE BENCH WARMERS. THE STAR OF THIS SHOW, AND THE WWE, AND THE NEW WWE CHAMPION IS…
Ricardo - ALBERTO DEL RIO!
Josh - Maxim comes out tomorrow.
King - TOMORROW!?
Cole - I’m sure you’ll be in line right after Raw.
Cole - It’s a night of announcements!
Cole - Kharma LAMBAISTED HER!
Vickie - EXCUSE ME!
Cole - COUGAR IN THE HOUSE!
Vickie - PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME THE MAN WHO REPRESENTS THE FUTURE OF THE WWE - THE NEW AND IMPROVED DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Cole - I think he’s a future WWE Champion.
Josh - HE HAS REINVENTED HIMSELF ON RAW!
King - I was at K-Mart looking at Santino action figures.
Truth - I’M GETTING LETTERS FROM PARENTS THAT SAY PLEASE R-TRUTH, PLEASE GO BACK TO MOVING YOUR BEAT AND SINGING WITH YER FEET. LITTLE RONNIE LOVES TO SING WHAT’S UP! LEMME TELL YA SOMETHING, ALL THE LITTLE RONNIES SHOULD STOP PRETENDING - IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO PRIVATE SCHOOL. THAT’S WHY FANS DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. MIZ, DEL RIO, AND MYSTERIO NEED TO GET GOT. I’M GONNA DO IT ON MY OWN TERMS. YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT, BUDDY, AND THAT’S THE TRUTH! SAY IT!?
Stanford - WHAT’S UP!
Truth - SAY HELLO TO LITTLE RONNY FOR ME!
Miz - YOU HUGGED ME!?
Riley - I’m sorry…
Miz - YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN AMOEBA - THAT IS THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE. IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BRAINS!!
Riley - I’m truly sorry.
Miz - YOU’RE ALL JACKED UP, BUT YOU HAVE THE BRAIN OF AN ORANGUTAN!
Riley - I. AM. SORRY.
Miz - I don’t know why I allow you in my presence.
Riley - I’m gonna make it up to you.
Miz - How?
Riley - I’M GONNA SHOW YOU! WATCH THIS!
Riley - I KNOW WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME, AND I REALLY DON’T CARE. The only person in my life that I care about IS THE MIZ! AND I’M GONNA PROVE IT NOW, CUZ I’M CHALLENGING CENA TO A MATCH! Can’t hear me John? I’M THE MIZ’S POOR LITTLE APPRENTICE AND I COULDN’T DO YOU ANY HARM!? GET OUT HERE CENA!
King - Riley’s plan may just go AWRY!
King - Cena giving Riley a wrestling lesson.
Cole - Having defeated Jerry Lawler at both ‘Mania and Extreme Rules, I’ve realized that I can’t get any higher. And I’ve decided to announce tonight that I AM RETIRING FROM IN-RING COMPETITION. I know I’m doing that as the only undefeated superstar in history and as one of the greatest of all-time, but I want to be inducted as both a broadcaster AND in-ring competitor!
King - Hold on a second there.
Cole - WAIT ONE MINUTE. NEED I REMIND YOU THAT BY ORDERS OF OUR GM, YOU LAY A HAND ON ME AND YOU WILL BE FIRED!
King - I remember that rule, and luckily, it didn’t apply to the Rock. I thought I’d come in here and liven things up a bit - CAN WE ROLL THE FOOTAGE OF LAST WEEK’S HISTORIC HANDSHAKE! Maybe you could get in the HoF if you could beat me in another match. If you did, I WILL INDUCT YOU IN THE HALL OF FAME AND GIVE YOU MY HALL OF FAME RING! What’s it gonna be!?
Cole - Your ring? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE IN TENNESSEE!? WHAT MAKES ALL YOU PEOPLE A BUNCH OF SORE LOSERS!? Take Al Gore - THE MAN LOST TO THE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY FAIR AND SQUARE AND HE’S STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT IT YEARS LATER. HERE’S ANOTHER ONE - THE MILLIONS OF ELVIS FANS WHO REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT HE DIED ON A TOILET! AND THEN THERE’S YOU, LAWLER. YOU CAN’T LET IT GO. YOU LOST AT WM, AT EXTREME RULES. YOU LOST! YOU COULDN’T CHANGE MY MIND ANYWAY, BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T CHANGE MY MIND. BECAUSE YESTERDAY WAS MOTHER’S DAY. IT WAS A MOMENTOUS DAY AT CASA DE COLE. WE SAT AROUND AND DRANK ESPRESSO AND POPPED A DVD INTO THE DVD PLAYER, AND IT WAS WRESTLEMANIA, AND WE WATCHED OVER AND OVER HOW I DISECTED YOU IN THE RING! What did you do for mother’s day?! Oh…I’m so sorry… Your mother passed away in February!
HHH - Bullying is such a big thing NOW.
Cole - BEEP BEEP BEEP, WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO ALERT YOU THAT JERRY THE KING LAWLER IS IN PAIN! HAHAHAHA. I love using the old news background once in a while.
Swagger - JERRY THE KING LAWLER. YOU DID IT, YOU’RE FIRED!
Lawler - I NEVER TOUCHED COLE, I JUST TOUCHED HIS TIE!
Swagger - YOU JUST MADE MICHAEL COLE A FIRST BALLOT HALL OF FAMER - ON BEHALF OF MICHAEL COLE - HE ACCEPTS!
Cole - WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
Swagger - YOU’RE MR. WRESTLEMANIA!
Cena - Miz, I’m here to congratulate you - JUST LIKE I DID AFTER WRESTLEMANIA, WHEN YOU BEAT ME. No excuses, yet after you lose the WWE Title, YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT EXCUSES. AND YET AT OVER THE LIMIT, WE’LL HAVE A MATCH WHERE THERE WILL BE NO EXCUSES - AN I QUIT MATCH!
 
Ideally, they'd serve Popeye's red beans and rice at Church's Chicken.

Is anyone else's Church's Chicken located directly next door to an actual church? It's just...so damn literal.
 
That was a pretty good main event. Real entertaining match.

It's kind of ridiculous they're doing the same exact match at the same exact PPV as last year. Last year it was Cena as champ vs. Batista in an I Quit match.
 
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