Tenay - So much intrigue. (30 seconds later) SO MUCH INTRIGUE, SO MUCH INTEREST IN TURNING POINT!
(Lethal elbow off the top)DW - THEY’VE GOT IT, THEY WON!
Tenay - BUT DON, THE REFEREE IS OUT!
DW - OH NO!
(3D plants opponents in a way to make it look like they went through the table, ref gives them win)Tenay - THIS SUCKS!
DW - What’s ironic about this whole thing is that they used the X division belt with the referee knocked out, they used that belt as a weapon, that belt that took both people out.
Tenay - Well, Don, we’re on Pay-Per-View, and I know you love to say it, so what does ODB stand for?
DW - One Dirty Bitch…
(on Velvet Sky’s entrance)DW - You gotta love the creativity… (she does the Keibler entrance)…and there you go!
Tenay - Still to come at Turning Point, the FEAST OR FIRED MATCH!
DW - Nice dropkick through the legs…and now she’s riding ODB!
Tenay - Excuse me!?
DW - Just calling what I’m seeing, Mike.
(Velvet gives ODB a wedgie)DW - WEDGIE TIME! HOLY COW!
(ODB smacks her ass, then grabs the ref‘s hand)DW - SHE WANTS ANDREW THOMAS TO SPANK HER!
(ODB tries to give him a wedgie)DW - SHE’S TRYING TO GIVE HIM A WEDGIE, THIS WHOLE THING HAS JUST TURNED NUTS!
(Velvet schoolgirl’s ODB)Tenay - Oh, she almost got beat there, she was too busy giving a wedgie to Andrew Thomas!
(ODB steps on Velvet’s crotch during a tree of woe) Tenay - What would you call that move? I’ll cover all the hurrancanranas and enziguris you want, maybe you can help out with that one.
DW - Well, I know it wasn’t the dirty dozen - I know that.
Tenay - No, but it might’ve been a cousin of the dirty dozen.
(to Christian)Angle - I like to think of myself as the George Bush of TNA.
Deep-voiced ad guy - James Storm takes on FORMER DRINKING BUDDY, Eric Young!
(James Storm goes for a huge jumping knee drop, and the director misses the landing, instead focusing the camera on a fan holding up a sign, missing the landing)
DW - At Impact, a SITUATION HAPPENED, with Rellik and like a DEATH KICK TO THE HEAD of Rhino has taken the War Machine out of this match.
Penzer - It is now time for FEAST OR FIRED, introducing first, representing Triple X, Senshi, Christopher Daniels, and Elix Skipper (Senshi shakes head in disgust)
(after Petey grabs his case)DW - He’s got NOTHING TO LOSE in my mind, he’s in it for the glory!
(BG catches case)BG - OH SHIT! I DON’T WANT THIS!
Tenay - HE JUST SAID “I DON’T WANT THIS!” I READ HIS LIPS!
Tenay - BG and Kip, in the 3 Live Kru days, held the TNA tag titles, Don, but we don’t know specifically if they have a championship title shot or a pink slip.
DW - We won’t find out until Impact!
DW - Kip’s going up for another case, THINK OF THE ADVANTAGE THIS COULD GIVE VKM - they could have a title shot OR a world title shot!
Tenay - Or they could have a pink slip.
DW - THAT’S RIGHT! It’s the same color as his ridiculous outfit.
Tenay - Good news/bad news situation…
DW - There’s nothing good about that!
(Gail goes for a strike flurry on Kong)Tenay - It’s like trying to chop down a tree, isn’t it Don!?
DW - YEAH, FROM JAPAN!
(Kong kills women’s division)Tenay - I’M GONNA SAY IT AGAIN, WHO THE HELL CAN STOP AWESOME KONG!? Let’s send it to J.B.!
Tenay - Raven turns his attention to Rellik, THAT’S KILLER SPELLED BACKWARDS!
(after Rellik puts tacks Into Raven’s mouth and cross faces him)DW - OH, THAT COULD CAUSE INTERIOR DAMAGE! They could cut his cheek, his tongue, HE COULD EVEN SWALLOW THEM! THAT’S SICK!
Booker - Bobby Roode…
Sharmell - Honey, it’s Robert Roode…
Booker - WHATEVA, tonight, Robert Roode, you’re gonna slip on a banana peel and TAKE MY FINISH RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT RING, and I KNOW YOU CAN DIG THAT, SUCKA!
(after Christian takes a Roode chairshot and a Booker axe kick)DW - He’s in massive SEVERE PAIN! He’s done!
(after Christian springs to life and slaps Roode)DW - OH WE KNEW THAT LIGHT BULB WAS GONNA GO OFF AND THAT THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN!
Joe - We have two kinds of wrestlers here in TNA - die-hards, who bust their asses for YOU, the fans, and “superstars” who come and screw over every fan, no matter how OLD they are (glares at Nash)
Karen - OH SHUT UP, STOP BEING A CRYBABY!
Joe - So let me tell you what TNA is - TNA is the Motorcity Machine Guns busting their asses and trying to make a break in this business! TNA is Black Machismo doing his damndest to entertain every single fan in this building and showing what’s up! TNA is Samoa Joe coming in here and doing what he does best - wrestle, and be the best damn professional wrestler in the world. (crowd mildly chants “Joe” and slowly claps) TNA is a bunch of hard-working young athletes who are looking to change the wrestling world, guys who held down this business whiles others profiteered from it! (glares at Angle) TNA is the men who risk their lives on scaffolding, on wires, whiles others show up and pad their pensions! (glares at Nash) Scott Hall, chico, kiss my ass! You punked out, and you’re a punk! (to Dixie) You’re mad? Go ahead and fire me, I don’t care. They told me in the back that they were calling everyone to try and get me a new partner, but I told them “no, we don’t need anybody, we got everyone we need in the back right now!” So I said “hey, who wants to go out there in the main event tonight and who wants to get into a fight AND EVERY DAMN ONE OF THE X DIVISION WRESTLERS STOOD UP, every single wrestler whose first TV contract was here in TNA stood up and said “ME!”, but one in particular, bloodied, beaten, battered, bruised, and overlooked by everybody in the world looked at me and said “Joe, please give me the shot”, and without further ado, I announce MY partner, a man who will SHOW UP, a man who will be here and do what he needs to do, a man who is ready for a fight! And a man who will be EVEN WHEN HE’S AN OLD MAN (glares at Nash) I INTRODUCE MY TAG TEAM PARTNER, SHOWTIME ERIC YOUNG, GET OUT HERE AND KICK SOME ASS!
DW - What an unbelievable situation we have here, as Samoa Joe decides to get things off his chest!
Tenay - OH HE DID!
Tenay - Boy, this sure has turned into an interesting Pay-Per-View, hasn’t it!?
Tenay - Dr. Nash connects with a series of blows to Angle!
(after a super kick from Joe saves Nash from the ankle lock)DW - He killed Angle! He’s a professional! He helped Nash!
(as EY and Joe are on-screen)Tenay - ARE YOU WATCHING THE BODY LANGUAGE AS KEVIN NASH HEADS UP THE RAMP!?
DW - Kevin Nash walks out, he doesn’t want anything to do with the win!