The New and Improved Brothers of Destruction Wrestling Thread

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[quote name='TheRock88']WWE Network logo

wwe_network_2012_122520.png

[/quote]

If that's an update to the Attitude Era scratch logo then...

Pro: We could finally update the John Cena era World title belt...

Con: ...but it probably be the same belt with that front and center. No matter how I look at it, I see 3 W's.
 
With the amount of effort WWE is putting into their product right now, that logo seems about right.
 
This article isn't anything we didn't alreayd figure out fro ourselves 5 years ago, but it's still a pretty good read:

For the last thirty years the term genius has been generously associated with Vince McMahon and with good reasons. But something has happened over the last few years to make me think differently. I think the days of calling Vince McMahon a genius are over.

I tossed around this topic a few weeks ago on The Still Real to Us podcast and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to put it down on paper (or MS Word to be exact). I am not a Vince hater but I think it is time to face facts, that this man is no longer a genius.

This isn’t to take away his past accomplishments. His promotional accomplishments are historic. At his best, the man could take a simple pro wrestling storyline or star and promote them further than anyone else in his position could have. As I said earlier, the history is there. However, not all geniuses remain geniuses and Vince is no longer the smartest man in the room.

The last several years for the WWE is proof positive. He hasn’t created a mega star in several years. He hasn’t promoted a big match or big show beyond expectations in years. The jury is still out as to how well The Rock will do at WrestleMania 28. His ventures outside of the WWE have been failure after failure from the XFL to his film division which is losing money faster than you can say Bastian Booger. The buck stops at the top and in the top in the WWE is Vince McMahon.

He is completely out of touch with his fan base. The proof in this is that while he does have babyfaces and heels that are over, none are over like mega stars. Fans are tuning in and out of RAW like never before, with no sign of growth in the immediate future. The big matches he promotes appeal to select niches, failing to promote a big match or big star that appeals to everyone. When is the last time he has done that?

It hasn’t been for a lack of trying. He has certainly tried to create new mega stars over the last few years. Unfortunately his golden touch has turned to rust. Jack Swagger, CM Punk, The Miz, R-Truth, Mark Henry, and Sheamus are all guys that he has tried to push to the elite level in recent years. Success has been mixed but none have turned into the mega stars that they would have years ago with the same kind of promotional push His failures haven’t been for a lack of trying, he just can’t seem to pull it off.

The booking is beyond atrocious. Even casual wrestling fans who know very little about pro wrestling can see the flaws in the week to week booking. Just this past Monday, John Cena was booked to beat down the same two guys he supposedly needs help to beat on pay per view. On the other show, you have the guy going into WrestleMania challenging the champion being squashed by the current champion. These are just this week’s examples, but a look back at weekly booking decisions would have you convinced that Vince’s limousine driver was booking RAW. No genius would certainly book his television like this right?

It just bothers me when I see or read people continue to promote Vince as this mastermind in pro wrestling. He’s not! A real genius evolves with continued success for decades after his first strike. Steven Spielberg and Steve Jobs are two geniuses that immediately come to mind that continued coming up with great ideas past their initial peak of success. Vince hasn’t had a real success in over five years.

Is it age? Maybe it is. The man is 66 years old. It is hard to imagine Vince being in tune with his young audience at 66? On the other hand, a genius would surround himself with people who are, and those people could help craft his “genius” ideas to hit the mark with his younger audience. That hasn’t happened in a long time in the WWE.

You can look at TNA Wrestling and have realistic hopes that it will get better with a booking change. That won’t happen in the WWE. Vince is it, for better or worse. It is disappointing at times because the product has been so bastardized in the last few years that you wonder if there is ever any chance that it could recover. With Vince McMahon at the helm, that isn’t likely.

So the next time you label Vince McMahon a genius, stop to think for a second about what this genius has accomplished over the last several years. Stop to think about how well he has prepared his company for the future. Stop to think about how long it has been, since Vince McMahon has truly came up with a genius idea.
Click to expand...
 
Former WCW announcer and current Pittsburgh-area radio host Mark Madden is leading the charge with the Jerry Sandusky "pimping small boys to rich people" rumors.
 
That was some ridiculously poor editing in the Knockouts tag - Velvet magically teleported across the after giving Madison a jawbreaker to set up Mickie on the top rope.
 
Thanks for the link to updated themes.. will use these. I will be putting together a pack or two if anyone's interested again this year, definitely going to include some of the WCW themes from last year + more, as well as ECW themes this time around.. can't wait for WWE '12.

Who is the ring announcer on Superstars? Reminds me of Lillian Garcia.
 
Okay that was a damn good segment to end this weeks Impact - between how completely awesome Storm looked all bloodied up to Roode being 1000x more comfortable as a heel. "You didn't ring the bell yet?"
 
Canned heat killed Roode's promo, which was fine aside from the "new generation" line, which just reminded me of the WWF's mid-90s marketing slogan. Storm was AWESOME chucking geeks around. Sting needs to dress somewhat nicer than a guy in the crowd. The Crimson-Morgan video was tremendous. I still don't want to see them have a match, but if I'd never seen Crimson wrestle before, I'd want to see this match. Crimson-Pope was fine thanks to Pope, who took an awesome bump for the bouncing Sky High. IMMORTAL'S MISTER INTENSITY GUNNER faced Garrett Bischoff in a nothing match. GB did a couple arm drags, a hip toss, and a backdrop before Flair pushed the ref and led to a DQ...and now Sting can change Eric's contract. He didn't seem to mind this. Best thing about the match was an old guy next to Flair and Eric with a glorious beard. Loved Robbie E having Robbie T "hold him back" by holding onto his neck and having T carry him around. Rob Terry's a strong motherfucker. Storm was shown out cold and covered in blood, so of course the camera guy asked if he was okay. And then the guys begging for a trainer just grabbed him and forced him to his feet. Thank God he didn't have a neck injury.

Sorenson faced Ion and gave a fan his signed football beforehand. That kid better not lose it, because it could be worth enough to sell for a stick of gum one day. Match was basically nothing except for Ion making a Z with his hand after doing a backdrop...thing onto his knee. Then Kash came out, cut an awesome promo on him, and beat him up with Aries before the 3-way. Kash is my favorite part of the X division...which is like 4 guys now. Women's tag had plugs for Dixie's twitter and Hooters. Also, some AWESOME facial expressions from Gail, whose super-bitch character is the best one she's ever played. Gail won via Eat Defeat, so she'll lose on Sunday, which is fine since Velvet should hold it longer for her first reign. Tranni Brooks looked concerned for Velvet after the loss.

Sting had a serious meeting with Storm, which seamlessly led into the comedy stuff with EY and Ronnie facing the Dos Robos. Robbie E now has orange and purple Ryder-ish gear. Ugh. Loved EY striking a bicep pose before getting in there with Robbie T and getting hit with a fantastic super-long delayed suplex. Taz was awesome on commentary, and this was perfectly fine as a wacky comedy match. Ink Inc and Mex-Am had every brawl they had to build up their match a month ago to build up a six-person match at the PPV for the tag belts. AJ faced Daniels in a match I'd forgotten about being mentioned earlier, and thought I really should care more about it. Match began with a collar and elbow tie-up, which seemed a bit odd since their last match featured a screwdriver and Daniels threatening to murder AJ on PPV in front of his family. They did the "AJ slips, Daniels cover" finish again way too early in the match, and they didn't even bring up the significance of it on commentary. Match was really good until BOB VAN DAM came down to take the screwdriver from Daniels, leading to AJ hitting the death valley neckbreaker thing and the Styles Clash.

Abyss was the mystery team for Hardy and Anderson, who I find far less annoying since they took the title off him and stopped giving him a lot of stuff to say each week. He's fine just doing in intro, saying asshole, and working perfectly okay but nothing special matches. Loved Taz talking about knowing EVERY INTRICATE DETAIL about Immortal. Now I'm imagining him sitting down with reading glasses on typing up all of the info. Anderon bumped into Bully, which led to Bully jumping off the apron in THE best wacky way ever. Abyss was so awesome here slapping the buckle and jumping up and down waiting for the tag. He's really way better as a face since he's impossible to take seriously as a threat, but is great as a wacky monster. They did a parade of finishers spot before Abyss hit Steiner with the black hole slam which was fun, as was the whole match, actually. Very fun deal here.

Roode came out to more canned heat...look, I know they taped this after the last show, and it's not realistic to expect him to get nuclear heat minutes/hours afterwards, , and they always use this stuff, but they need to change how they do it because they make the canned heat overpower EVERYTHING said. Promos aren't as loud as they should be because of it, and here, Roode seemed like a nobody because THE EXACT SAME CANNED HEAT HE GOT EARLIER was used here. Storm didn't come out the first time, staggered out the second time, looked at Roode, spat blood at the camera, went in realizing he was fucked, ran wild, knew it wasn't gonna last, but HAD to try and kick this fucker's ass, and passed out from trying too hard. Doctor came out to tell the ref he needed to go to the hospital. Then they had Roode tease that he cared - he'd help him up even and then he asked the ref if it was over, was told it wasn't, and cradled him. AWESOME dick heel move here. This was great...and then AJ came down to announce that he wanted Roode at the PPV, Sting made it official, while weird music played over the ending of the show. Since AJ's hurt, they can either work his injury into the feud by having Roode beat yet another injured guy to retain after a valiant effort, or just do a replacement. Or both. Given that Roode's totally new as a top guy - do both. Have AJ do whatever he can do for a few minutes, lose, and then have Hardy come out and lose to give Roode a big win over a major face without it having to be in a feud.

Screens -





"Al Boondy"


















Quotes -
Roode - It’s all I’ve always wanted - I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF! IT’S MINE! This is my era - Bobby Roode is the TNA World Champ, and there’s no one that’s gonna get in my way.
Storm - Roode, we were brothers, we were blood. Just get outta my face.
Taz - He cracked his homeboy with the bottle!
Roode - You’re booing me? YOU’RE REALLY BOOING ME!? Wait a minute? ARE YOU BOOING ME OR ARE YOU CHANTING ROODE! ROODE! ROODE! BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU MORONS WERE DOING LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WERE CHEERING ME ON! Why do you hate me? BECAUSE I KILLED BEER MONEY!? Why do you hate me? BECAUSE I DID WHAT EXACTLY YOU MACON HILLBILLIES WOULD’VE DONE GIVEN THE SAME OPPURTUNITY I HAD!? YA SEE, THIS IS A NEW GENERATION - A GENERATION OF SELFISHNESS! And I am the leader of the new generation. Doing things the right way gets you nothing. It gets you nowhere. This is a dog-eat-dog world and last week, I ATE JAMES STORM FOR LUNCH! And that stupid sorry son of a bitch didn’t see it coming. But that’s not my fault - that’s on you James. Ya see, I came to the realization at BFG that after 13 years, that opportunities I had at BFG and last week only come along so often so I made the best of it. And today, James Storm your hero is somewhere in a hole in the wall drowning his sorrows while I’m the new world champion!
Sting - Where ya going Bobby? Bobby hey, who’d ever a thunk it? THAT YOU’D TAKE THE SHORTCUT! You want this to be selfish? You gotta look out for yourself? Tonight, I’m gonna take the high road. I am going to prefer James Storm because tonight there will be a world title rematch! LIKE YOUR EX-PARTER WOULD TELL YA SORRY…(crowd does the rest)
Taz - Mike, sometimes your words are muddled.
Tenay - ME!? It’s more than sometimes for you…
Tenay - IMMORTAL’S MISTER INTENSITY GUNNER is accompanied by Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff.
Tenay - IT’S A REFEREE COMING TO THE RING TO TAKE ON GUNNER!
Kash - WOW. YOU, YOU’VE RUINED MY LIFE. YOU’RE AS IMPRESSIVE AS THIS GUY RIGHT HERE. Jesse, you’re so damn impressive. MISTER TEN DAYS IN THE BUSINESS! YOU’RE RUNNING AROUND MY RING, MY COMPANY, THINKING YOU CAN BEAT ANYONE. 20 YEARS IN THE BUSINESS AND I’VE DONE IT ALL, AND I’M GONNA KEEP DOING IT ALL. I TOOK EVERYTHING I EVER GAVE, BUT I’M GONNA GIVE YOU SOMETHING - AN OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME! Really impressive beating the champ last week on your NON-TITLE MATCH. At TP, ME KID KASH IS GONNA GIVE YOU A TREAT - we’re gonna give you a title match. SORENSON VERSUS AUSTIN ARIES VERSUS KID KASH IN A 3 WAY DANCE! IT’S ONLY MISSING ONE SIGNATURE, BOY! SIGN IT, SUPERSTAR! YA NEED A PEN? HERE!? SIGN IT! SIGN IT! SIGN IT, SUPERSTAR! SIGN IT! JESSE, YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR CARRER - MISTER TEN DAYS IN THE BUSINESS. By the way, tell your mother I said thank you.
Taz - Gail’s an innocent little dove.
Tenay - HANGWOMAN’S NECKBREAKER BY MICKIE!
Tenay - We’re getting a taste of Turning Point.
Taz - It is appetizing.
Sting - WHO DID IT JAMES?!
Storm - I don’t know…
Taz - EY’S BITING THE NOSE OF ROBBIE T! YA JUST KNOW HIS MOUTH IS UNSANITARY!
Taz - He’s just massive, with that Rod Stewart haircut.
Taz - Congrats to Ronnie of the Jersey Shore…and for some reason, EY’s in his underwear. One guy lost his shirt, the other lost his pants!
Steiner - YOU TWO SKINNY ASSES GO FIND TWO OTHER SKINNY ASSES AND WE’LL KICK THEIR ASSES!
Ray - Courtesy flush - you had a lot of eggs today.
Taz - I love the tournament structure! Win and you move on, lose and you’re done! It’s like life!
Bjorn - It’s exactly like life.
Tenay - It’s what makes Bellator so unique in the MMA world.
Anderson - Friends, neighbors, countrymen, AND ASSHOLES, LEND ME YOUR EARS! MISTER! ANDERSON!
Taz - Abyss knows every intricate detail about Immortal. He knows more about Immortal than Hardy and Anderson…even though they were a part of immortal.
Taz - There’s the new zen-type elbow from Bully Ray.
Tenay - WHAT?
Taz - Once Hardy starts rolling, it’s all downhill from there.
Roode - Match is over, right? You rang the bell, right?
Ref - No.
Roode - No? eh…(cradles Storm)
AJ - WHO ARE YOU!? YOU’RE A PIECE OF TRASH THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! YA KNOW WHAT, I TELL YA WHAT, I’M NOT LAYING DOWN BLEEDING - COME DOWN AND GET SOME. I GOT A BETTER IDEA STINGER - THREE DAYS, TURNING POINT, I WANT ROODE! MAKE IT HAPPEN! I WANT THAT BRICK!
Sting - YOU GOT IT!
 
That new DB theme kept reminding me of something but I couldn't put my finger on it...eventually figured it out.

The Minibosses doing a Punch-Out medley.
 
There is nothing wrong with it. Still would love them to use this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV75qGY7jBk
 
[quote name='TheRock88']RIP Eddie, cant believe it's already been 6 years.[/QUOTE]

:cry:

Hard to believe it's been that long already.

In more happier news ROH this week was pretty decent. Show had a pretty enjoyable tag match between the Young Bucks vs Bravados. Main event is American Wolves vs House Of Truth which was pretty good and setup a bit towards the Final Battle main event as well. Throw in some video packages in the middle of the show including ROH finally giving the back story on Kevin Steen which I would have to imagine for newcomers to ROH is very helpful... and ROH by the end of the night put on a pretty decent show. Far better then last week's show for sure. 3/5 stars.
 
I enjoyed the main event from last night's ROH a lot. It was great seeing the American Wolves back in action together. They not only make an awesome tag team, but they can sure as hell put on a great match with one another.
 
Sounds good. According to the article, Cornette is the booker for OVW. It'll be interesting to see how this works out since he's currently working for ROH (plus the fact that he went on several of his patented post-employment tirades against TNA when he left).
 
The opening video relating the breakup of Beer Money to the global collapse of the economy and war on terror was…wow. Most of the matches were just kinda there, enjoyed EY doing the Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner spot, and I'm glad Robbie E won the title because it's...on someone new I guess. Maybe he can lose it to Ronnie of the Jersey Shore or something. EY made an AWESOME face after losing the title. Tag title six-human match was nothing. Cradle finish accomplished nothing. SORENSON HAS NEW GEAR! Also, Kid Kash is wearing Hulk Hogan's colors now. Loved Kash using Konnan's rolling clothesline into another one from Jesse. Yet another cradle finish, but this one at least set up Aries as the least trustworthy man to ever live.

RVD-Daniels was a match. RVD really needs someone to speed things up against him because his stuff looks terrible now that he's really slowed down. I really noticed it during the springboard kick with Daniels crotched - everything seemed like it was in slow motion, especially his back suplex lift into crotching Daniels to set it up. RVD won so Daniels can be in denial about another loss. Okay. Morgan and Crimson had THE DREAM MATCH that no one wanted, it had a double DQ to set up THE REMATCH THAT NOBODY WANTED. Awesome. Talking about the streak all the time is fine, but it really needs numbers - 'Taker's has meaning due to them, as did Goldberg's until they added a bunch of bullshit wins. There's no reason they can't have someone on staff just go back and count up how many matches he's had.

The best part of the Immortal-Anderson/Abyss tag was the pre-match promo work and the look Bully had on his face when cowering from Abyss in the corner. Velvet-Gail was okay. Kinda surprised to see them take the title off Velvet a month after accomplishing the big dream she’d had for a month prior to winning it, but Gail as THE dominant force in the division is a better move. Loved Hardy-Jarrett - both falls. The first one was just a perfect one-move shock win, and then they had a longer match that Jarrett lost due to his own arrogance. Liked Hardy giving Jarrett just what he himself asked for - one more shot. Jarrett’s glare at Hardy was perfect. Post-match chairshot was fine for the story they needed to tell with Jarrett going over the edge, but Hardy should’ve put his hands up for it. Even Taker and HHH saved a chairshot to the head for ‘Mania - and did a protected one there, and not some random TNA PPV. Roode-AJ was nothing special by normal standards, but considering AJ’s massively fucked up ankle, it was a miracle. I like Roode’s new gear since it’s easy to recreate in FPR, and has some flash to it. I wish Roode won with one of his THREE FINISHING MOVES, but hey, why not use ANOTHER CRADLE?!

Screens -
TNA Employee








Middle-aged and Cocky














Quotes -
(after Aries cradles Kash)Taz - HOLY DOUBLE CROSSER, BATMAN!
Bully - Anderson, if I had a dollar for every time I beat your ass, I’D BE RICH!
(after an Abyss Irish whip)Bully - OOOHHHHH SSSHHIIIIITTT!
 
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[quote name='ShinSolidus']Holy shit! There is no way that's a coincidence. No fucking way.[/QUOTE]

Skyrim has ridiculous facial reconstruction tools for the character editor. You could, theoretically, create someone who looks like just about anyone.

However, the fact that this is an NPC he's fighting, it's hilarious.
 
Loved the dance-off. Punk coming out made sense since he's the voice of the voiceless and he came out after Cole called himself the voice of WWE. Loved Punk shutting Cole up with a headbutt and vise. Now if only he'd do that to Laurinitis. Sin Cara/Kofi would make a good normal team, and thank God they finally took away Cody's mask and gave him a new, more intense theme. So far, MICK AND COLE HAVE TRENDED ON TWITTER - thanks King. Perfectly fine match here, and I'm glad Cody won since he needs some momentum. Sucks to be Kofi though. LOVED Dolph's promo on Ryan, the man with two first names and no clue. ...and of course they took J.R. out of the booth once Dolph's match began, since he might be able to help get both guys over. Well, theoretically - if the match went longer than two minutes and didn't end via slap to the face. Dug Foley trying to get Ryder's act over by doing it himself. Foley's promo was going perfectly until he mentioned Cena and the fans booed - but they never turned on Mick. Now when he said Cena was one of the best ever, they did.

Loved how over the top goofy they made the this is your life vid. That damn thing actually got some cheers and a Cena chant. Amazing. Loved B2's return. Just seeing him was great, and he cut THE GREATEST PROMO OF HIS LIFE. Ever. John Cena Sr. has the best wacky theme ever. THIS IS YOUR LIFE is trending. Then Cena Sr. made an ass out of himself and led to the Rock just strolling out and Rock Bottoming Foley, who was trying to hug him, for this. THAT was tremendous. Then they ran a graphic showing that Rock has more twitter followers than Cena, so he's a bigger star than him...well, that's for goddamn sure. JOHN CENA SR IS TRENDING! Really dug Sheamus-Swagger. Two big dudes who don't mind taking some shots, and can work at a pretty fast clip. Swagger got a lot of offense, and this was the perfect match to show that Swagger could still work as a serious act again. Loved the Bellas sucking to Ryder, only to leave him for Alberto, and then Ryder knocking "Al and Ricky". Alicia Fox, for some reason, wore a fabric version of the Partridge Family bus to accompany Kelly. I think the pre-match video showing Kelly's Maxim shoot, which showed more skin than the actual magazine, or has been seen on WWE TV in a long time, lasted longer than the match itself.

Ace said that Brodus WOULD NOT DEBUT BECAUSE HIS DEBUT NEEDS TO BE BIG, ON A BIG STAGE... And this, the biggest Raw of the year isn't it because he'd be overshadowed. Well, that certainly set him at a certain level. ROCK HAS MORE TWITTER FOLLOWERS THAN CENA, BUT CENA HAS MORE FACEBOOK FOLLOWERS! And Alberto is on the cover of a seemingly well-respected men's lifestyle magazine for Latin men. Very nice to see the champion presented like that...until King said people should line birdcages with it. I'm sure the editors of Hombre magazine were happy to hear that. Mark Henry's new HALL OF PAIN - ALL WILL SUFFER shirt is tremendous. Show/Punk-Alberto/Henry had some great stuff in it. Loved Show's RUNNING COLLAR AND ELBOW TIE-UP to Henry, and Punk jumping in the ring like he was totally fine after getting assaulted backstage and entered selling his arm. Henry hit an awesome WSS after a Punk springboard, but Alberto pinned Punk, so I'm guessing Punk wins the title on Sunday because...it's his turn or something. LOLed @ Punk giving Alberto his left arm because Alberto put it on the wrong arm...which they showed in the replay.

Santino cut an awesome promo before Nash came out to kill him with a boot after the trombone. Good promo too, and the jackknife looked smooth - didn't kill Santino with it at all. Barrett cut a good promo before his match with Orton that was nearly up there with his Nexus-leading ones. I wish they didn't do these sophomore jinx-style gimmicks with ALL main event-level guys because it hurts them, and here, Barrett is just now able to get back to a level close to where he was a year ago. Match was nothing because it turned into a giant clusterfuck with all 10 guys fighting. Dolph took a tremendous bump off the apron for the Brogue kick. And Mason looked powerful tossing Hunico over the top onto his other teammates. At least they tried to make one "new" guy look strong here. Rock cut a goddamn great promo about his morning routine, which sounds amazing hearing him say it. Then the head died, just fucking died when Miz and Truth's theme hit. And then they cut literally every promo they've ever cut and came off like grade-schoolers playing with the big boys. And then Miz and Truth, instead of just kicking his ass, said they wouldn't . Well, that was nice of them. Cena insulted Rock again...goddammit enough of that. Rock then insulted him in the best way possible, leading to some stupid shit from Cena trying to seem cool, and then a Miz rebuttal. Rock then hit both guys with Rock Bottoms to one-up Cena. Good. fuck Cena - his character is an ungrateful asshole. So yeah, Miz and Truth got to look weak for...what three out of the past 4 weeks of the build to this? Great way to build up the heels, and they don't even have the tag titles to at least act like they're the top team in the company. It's a shame the booking is so shaky, because there was so much genuine emotion when Rock came out - from the fans going crazy to Rock clearly getting emotional because of all the appreciation being showed to him that it felt like a special moment. Almost on par with his first appearance before the EC PPV earlier this year, and then it just went downhill, uphill, and downhill over and over.

Screens -















That '70s Diva




Quotes -
Cole - CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!? Welcome to a very special Raw Supershow! I know it seems like an eternity, but finally, JIM ROSS HAS THE GUTS TO TAKE THE MICHAEL COLE CHALLENGE! I know the parade isn’t until next week - but here’s the closest thing the WWE has to a cartoon float - GOOD OL J.R. JIM ROSS! There will be 3 challenges - if you win all 3, you get your job back AND I QUIT! So, any questions? ANYHOW THANKS FOR THE COMMENT! I’d like to start things off with something you know and love - ARM WRESTLING! Ya ready fat man!?
J.R. - Look at the time!
Cole - SLOBBERKNOCKER! IT’S GONNA BE A SLOBBERKNOCKER!
Cole - HEY REF, YOU STARTED TOO QUICK! I gave up! HIS BREATH IS SO REVOLTING, IT SMELLS LIKE SPOILED MEAT! Disgusting! Now we move on… there’s no way I lose this next one. I’M UNDEFEATED! I’M SO CONFIDENT IN MY ABILITY TO WIN THAT I’LL ALLOW YOU - THE WWE UNIVERSE, WHO DESPISE ME SO MUCH, TO VOTE ON WHO YOU BELIEVE WINS THIS NEXT COMPETITION! It’s a dance competition! WHADYA THINK!? Ya forfeit?
J.R. - Well, here’s the deal - I need some help, if ya get up and feel like it - clap and we’ll get this on. PLAY MY MUSIC!
Cole - I have to admit - you show me something. Too bad the Fat Boys broke up - YOU’D HAVE A JOB FOR LIFE! You’re about to pull the biggest choke-job since the RED SOX!! This next competition is simply…who weighs less! TWO HUNDRED HOT POUNDS! YOU WANNA TWEET ABOUT HOW MUCH WEIGHT YA LOST? HEAR YA GO! 239..you lose! THE WINNER OF THE MICHAEL COLE CHALLENGE, AND STILL THE VOICE OF THE WWE! (voice of the voiceless comes out)
Cole - HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME!
Punk - It was going so well! YOUR TIME IS UP! I know you think that this has nothing to do with me, but it does - once it became PAINFULLY obvious that you weren’t gonna give a legit shot to J.R., this whole thing became a waste of time. Except for J.R. dancing - THAT was awesome!
King - MICHAEL COLE IS TRENDING ON TWITTER!
Punk - J.R. dances better than you AND HE’S A BETTER ANNOUNCER! IT’S A WASTE OF MY TIME AND THE AUDIENCE’S TIME! And speaking of time, your 15 minutes of fame are up. You had your WM moment, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE! Between you, John Funkman, and Alberto, this show is becoming unbearable. These people here wish they had a remote that they could hit fast forward. Tonight’s a 3 hour show, and it feels like you’ve been out here for 6! I WANT THIS SHOW TO BE INTERESTING, AND IT WILL BE WHEN I WIN THE WWE TITLE. I WILL COMMENTATE, BE THE REF, THE TIMEKEEPER - I’LL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET THE SPOTLIGHT OF YOUR FAKE-TANNED AND UNTALENTED…
Ace - According to my twitter page, WHICH HAS 38,000 followers, THEY WANTED TO SEE THE COMPETITION.
Punk - Screw you and your 38,000 twitter followers.
Ace - THAT’S THE WWE UNIVERSE! Six days before you compete for the WWE Title, you will team with Big Show to face Mark Henry and Alberto. Good luck!
Cole - HAHAHAHAHA OH BOY! Well, it looks like THE PIPE BOMB BLEW UP IN YOUR FACE. Now we’ll take care of my business… I demand that you apologize to me. Tell me you’re sorry for the hurtful things you said.
Strike - HE HAS VOWED TO ADDRESS THE WWE UNIVERSE! MICK FOLEY!?
Foley - I wouldn’t miss the Rock’s return to Raw for anything. It’s great to be back here in Boston.
Cody - Everyone thinks that Orton emasculated me - on the contrary. He emancipated me.
King - MICK FOLEY IS TRENDING ALL OVER THE WORLD ON TWITTER!
Santino - DA ROCK TAKES IT TO JOHN CHAINA, SO THEY CAN DETERMINE WHO GETS TO FACE SANTINO MARELLA! THIS IS THE SPECIAL PEOPLE’S EDITION - THE ROCK WON A CONTEST TO GET THE COVER!
Ryder - He can win as many video game cover contests as he wants…
Santino - IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!
Vickie - There’s some bad news, WWE.com reported that Christian suffered a serious ankle injury, after also suffering a neck injury on SD. CHRISTIAN IS OUT OF SURVIVOR SERIES. What’s discouraging to me though is that it was TEDDY LONG’S IMCOMPETENCE THAT LET IT HAPPEN. I HAVE GOOD NEWS, ARE YOU READY FOR MY GOOD NEWS!? I HAVE SPOKEN TO MY GOOD FRIEND JOHN LAURINITIS…
Dolph - I AM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT DOLPH ZIGGLER, YOUR UNITED STATES CHAMPION, WHO WILL BE ON TEAM BARRETT. I find it ironic that it’s called Team Barrett when I’ve got the title, the looks, and the list goes on and on. HOW DAMN GOOD AM I AT THIS!? I am taking on something more cyborg than man, with two first names and no clue. MASON RYAN!
Cole - IT’S MICK! THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR! THE COMEDIAN! THREE-TIME WWE CHAMPION, MULTI-TIME WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION!
Crowd - FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!
Foley - Thank you for that very warm response. (crowd cheers) As a Kansas farm girl once said, there’s no place like home. While it’s fun to be back in WWE WHERE I BELONG, I came back to talk about serious business. This Sunday, at Survivor Series, we’ll see an epic tag team match with one of the greatest combinations of all-time - but I’d like to see they could do it again. THE ROCK AND CENA CONNECTION! (fans boo) ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, THE ROCK! And his partner, John Cena (boos) That’s a problem. While I respect that everyone has their own opinion, I’d like to see more people see Cena as I do - one of the best performers in WWE history. That’s fine. I’ve got a task in front of me, but I’ll do my best to make them right by introducing my good friend, Mister John Cena!
Cena - Can you believe this!? A sold-out excited TD Garden, Mick Foley invites me to join him in the ring. Mick, thank you. Here’s the thing though - Rock and I don’t need to be friends to be a team. I know what you’re trying to do, but when I asked Rock to be my partner, it’s because he’s fantastic. He’s electrifying. He’s the most electrifying man in all of entertainment. I didn’t ask the Rock to be my partner because he’s my friend.
Foley - I know that. Maybe I pushed it saying that we’re friends. We know each other - our relationship is forged out of mutual respect.
Cena - I LIKE EVERYONE HERE, respect the hell out of Mick for what he’s done.
Foley - In ‘06, I saw your matches and saw how you interacted, and wrote you a letter by hand expressing my admiration showing respect to everyone in the locker room. That makes you a hell of a man. Now where I got in trouble was doing this relatively new twitter thing, and said that people should show more appreciation for the great matches John Cena’s had in WWE. I think you’re one of the best to ever step foot inside the ring. (fans boo) Look at this shirt, it was two, now it’s one - TONIGHT, HERE IN BOSTON! I would like to be the threat that like this shirt, brings you and the Rock together. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. How? THIS, JOHN CENA IS YOUR LIFE!
Cena - I don’t think this is a good idea.
Foley - ROLL THE EMOTIONALLY-POWERFUL VIDEO TRIBUTE!
Cena - WHAT SONG DID YOU SCORE THAT TO!?
Foley - You’ll remember this voice - let’s hear it… THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S YOUR LITTLE LEAGUE COACH MISTER WILL GREY! SWING BATTER! I guess you wanna have a moment together…
Foley - Go ahead coach.
Coach - It’s the bottom of the sixth, bases are loaded, all we needed as a base hit, and John…struck out!
Cena - I struck out looking.
Coach - I told him that failing would help him become a better man. But that didn’t stop him from crying is eyes out all day.
Foley - Everyone strikes out every once and a while.
Cena - You’re striking out now.
Foley - I found someone else, let’s hear from him.
Foley - BULL BUCHANAN!
Cena - Wonderful.
Foley - BOOYA INDEED!
Cena - BULL BUCHANAN! HE’S ACTUALLY HERE!
Foley - BOOYA! Let the catching up begin.
Cena - It’s good to see you.
B2 - it’s great to see you.
Foley - You said that John was really instrumental in your history in WWE.
B2 - He was the best tag team partner I ever had - BAR NONE. John, I don’t wanna get mushy, but teaming with you was the best time in my life. It was, we eventually broke up, all great teams do, but look at you. ONE OF THE BEST SUPERSTARS EVER! Maybe the greatest! For me…eh… it’s been alright. I got fired! Ya know… Didn’t see that coming. Got fired, old lady left me, took off, lost my money in a ponsy scheme that was fun. And to top it off John, remember my dog, HE BIT RIGHT ON MY ARM, GAVE ME RABIES AND FINISHED MY CAREER. YOU RUINED MY LIFE! THANKS A LOT!
Cena - That just replaced the Shockmaster.
Cena Sr - JOHNNY FABULOUS HERE!
Foley - PLEASE WELCOME JOHN CENA SENIOR!
Cena Sr. - Thank you Mick, I’d like to say something to the WWE Universe. Especially those jacked up apes who keep chanting CENA SUCKS! Ya know what? Cena doesn’t suck. YOU SUCK. HOW DARE YOU HASSLE MY SON! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HAAHD HE WORKS!? LITTLE CHILDREN LOVE HIM! DON’T BOO HIM!
Cena - They’re going to now…
Cena Sr - YOU’RE LOSERS!
Cena - This is embarrassing. I’ve never told anyone how to feel about me. Anyone can feel how they’d like to about me. THIS IS MY LIFE. This 20 by 20 box. BEING HERE, WHETHER THEY WANNA BOO ME, MY TWO FEET IN THIS RING IS ALL I HAVE! THAT’S WHAT I’M GONNA SHOW ON SUNDAY. I’ll save ya tha trouble - this is one of wrestling’s greatest catasrophies…
Foley - This hasn’t gone so welll…and I’m a little disappointed that the people are treating you with disrespect, but I’ll bring out the best one first. Breasts like mountain strawberries…(Rock comes out)
King - I got a Justin Bieber shirt.
Cole - I bet you do.
King - Sheamus keeps coming and coming and coming at you.
Ryder - Go to the LI and we’ll fist-bump all night long. Al, Ricky, you’re welcome to join.
King - Punk’s stomping a mudhole and walking it dry!
Cole - YOU ARE SO 1995!
King - Why don’t you call the action instead of talking about yourself?
King - CM PUNK ISN’T AFRAID OF THE ESTABLISHMENT!
Santino - Ladies and gentlemen, forgive me for interrupting, but I could not resist. It was this very ring, this very building, this very city where earlier this year I CAME THISA CLOSE TO WINNING THE ROYAL RUMBLES! YOU REMEMBER! I woulda did it too if it wasn’t for that SONOMAGUN, ALBERTO DEL RIO. Boston, you have your market, your terrariums, your tea parties, and your sandwiches, but you’ll also be known as the place where Santino put his career back on the tracks. NEXT TIME I’M HERE, I WILL BE CHAMPION! (Nash comes out) You’re not hear to beat me to prove a statement, are you?
Nash - Why would I want to do that? I’m one fo your biggest fans.
Santino - THANK YOU!
Nash - You were talking about the Rumble…that brought back some fond memories. What’s thing you do?
Santino - THE TROMBONE!
Nash - DO THE TROMBONE FOR ME! (Gets booted)
Nash - I WAS AT THE RUMBLE. I BLEW THE ROOF OFF THIS PLACE. I GOT THE BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT! BUT DID HHH HAVE THE SENSE TO HIRE ME? NO! WELL GUESS WHAT HHH? I’M HERE! AND YOU’RE NOT!
Barrett - On SD, I proved to the world that Orton is the past and Barrett is both the present and future. In consecutive weeks, the Barrett Barrage has conquered Sheamus and Orton, and tonight, in front of my team, I will once again lead by example by devenomizing the viper!
Cole - WELCOME, HUNICO TO THE RKO!
Cole - That was one of the worst This is Your Lifes I’ve ever seen.
Crowd - ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!
Rock - At 3:15 AM this morning, the Rock woke up, by 3:30, the Rock was eating breakfast - NOT A FRUITY PEBBLE IN SIGHT. At 3:45, THE ROCK WAS SENDING OUT HIS MORNING TWEET AND BY 4:30, THE ROCK WAS CLANGING AND BANGING INT EH GYM. BY 6 AM, THE ROCK WAS ON SET IN NEW ORLEANS DRIVING A 16-TON TANK, BUT IT DIDN’T MATTER CUZ THE ROCK COULDN’T WAIT! BY 3 this afternoon, by 6:45 he arrived here Logan Airport! BY 7 PM, THE ROCK RAN INTO A SECURITY GUARD, SAID ROCK YER A WICKED PISSA. I said thank you, the Rock’s got great aim! By 7:30, the Rock drove past the North End! Smelling the Italian food from a mile away. The Rock wanted to stop, couldn’t stop, AIN’T GONNA STOP UNTIL THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE. NOVEMBER 14TH 2011 FOR THE HONOR OF SAYING FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO BOSTON! In 6 days, Survivor Series. The 25h anniversary of Survivor Series. This Sunday, the biggest of all-time, but there’s one problem - that’s in 6 days and it’s not right now. RIGHT NOW DRIVES THE ROCK. Which is why Mick, the Rock loves you, but there was no way in hell I could stand out here while you handed out that plate of hot garbage all night long!
Crowd - THANK YOU ROCK! THANK YOU ROCK!
Rock - You’re welcome. Right now is what drives the Rock. Moments like this is what drives the Rock. RIGHT NOW IS WHY THE ROCK IS ONE OF THE MOST, IF NOT THE MOST ELECRIFYING MEN IN ALL OF ENTERTAINMENT! WHICH IS WHY THE ROCK HAS BECOME THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN TWITTERTAINMENT! WHEN THE ROCK TALKS ON TWITTER, THINGS TREND WORLDWIDE. WHEN THE ROCK SAYS BOOTS TO ASSES, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT KARDASHIAN WEDDING, AND BIGFOOT MAY BECOME PRESIDENT, BUT BOOTS TO ASSES WILL BE THE ONLY THING TRENDING AND IT’S TRENDING RIGHT NOW!
Crowd - BOOTS TO ASSES! BOOTS TO ASSES!
Rock - We just made Twitter history in Boston. I came all the way here to make sure that Raw gets Rocked. From the People’s Champ to the people, THE ROCK AIN’T WAITING SIX DAYS. TONGHT, THE ROCK IS GONNA DELIVER AN AWESOME ASS-WHOOPING TO AWESOME TRUTH! RIGHT NOW!
Miz - REALLY!? REALLY!? REALLY!? ROCK!? That’s what you want?
Truth - WE GOT NEWS FOR YOU ROCK, DON’T WHAT ME! IF YOU THINK THAT YOU DOING ANYTHING TO US, I MEAN ANYTHING, YOU’RE THE MOST DELUSIONAL MAN IN ENTERTAINMENT! OR TWITTERTAINMENT! RAW GETS ROCKED!? WHAT A JOKE! TRUTH IS, EVERY TIME WE’RE ON THIS SHOW. RAW GETS…
Miz - AWESOME! WE DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU MAKE TREND - WHAT WE DO CARE ABOUT IS LEAVING YOU A QUIVERING MESS.
Truth - We can do that right now.
Miz - BUT THAT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. IT’S ABOUT WHAT WE WANT, AND WE WANT TO MAKE HISTORY AT THE BIGGEST SURVIVOR SERIES OF ALL TIME! Raw gets Rocked, but on Sunday, ROCK GETS BEAT!
Truth - AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!
Cena - Are you wearing makeup? Sorry - you’ll have to excuse my partner. He gets excited, tells everyone he’s the captain of Team Bring It. But all he’s done in 7 years is a bunch of crappy messages via satellite.
Rock - You’ll have to excuse the Rock’s partner - he’s not used to having the support of someone who’s reached puberty. He’s so concerned about rising above the hate, but he should be concerned about the Rock’s boot kicking him in the lady parts. And by the way, Cena’s lady parts - trending worldwide.
Crowd - LADY PARTS! LADY PARTS!
Cena - A lady parts chant? Wow. What my partner doesn’t understand about twitter, or my mangina, is that on Sunday, we have to be a team. AND IF HIS EGO GETS IN THE WAY CENA BITCH-SLAPPING ROCKY IS GONNA TREND WORLDWIDE!
Miz - I’M SICK OF THIS! EXCUSE MY PARTNER, EXCUSE MY PARTNER! REALLY! NEVER BEFORE, NEVER AGAIN!? WHEN WE GET THROUGH WITH YOU, IT WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!
Truth - LITTLE JOHNNY AND LITTLE ROCKY WANTS TO GO BACK AND FORTH FOR ALL YOU LITTLE JIMMIES - HAVE A BLAST. WE’LL SEE YA SUNDAY!
Crowd - BOOTS TO ASSES!
Rock - You’ll see us on Sunday, but we’re here now…BOOTS TO ASSES!
 
Have to say I'm loving the way Cody Rhodes has grown his character over the last year or so. He sells it with the little things like the more confident swagger walking down to the ring to go with the new music tonight or changing the tempo of his speech for the masked phase.

I'm hoping they pull the trigger and actually let him get wins over Orton at some point.
 
[quote name='diddy310']Hrm...the chat is just a gray box for me now.[/QUOTE]

I imagine it's like that for a lot of people since I've been gone.
 
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